{"id":1889,"date":"2015-11-24T00:34:00","date_gmt":"2015-11-24T00:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=1889"},"modified":"2015-11-22T00:46:04","modified_gmt":"2015-11-22T00:46:04","slug":"chronic-illness-and-pain-heading-off-holiday-shoppers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2015\/11\/chronic-illness-and-pain-heading-off-holiday-shoppers.html","title":{"rendered":"Chronic Illness and Pain: Heading Off Holiday Shoppers!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Image<\/a>
Image courtesy of photoexplorer\/FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

If you live with a chronic illness, or if you have constant pain that interferes with movement or other daily activities, you might be dreading the upcoming gift-giving season. Not because you don’t have much money to spend on loved ones (although you might not) and not because you don’t like navigating the malls or surfing the web. No, you might be dreading it because you know that you’ll receive one or more gift(s) that just won’t work in your life. And then will come the “oh, I have no idea how I’m going to use this, but I have to because so-and-so will be hurt if I won’t.” Or the, “I can’t eat this. What will I say when so-and-so asks what I thought of it?”<\/p>\n

To nip the gift disappointment in the bud (and stave off the ensuing guilt, etc.), I suggest taking charge! No, not “charge” as in buying gifts using plastic. I mean, approach the people with whom you exchange gifts (or who you know will offer you a token of the Season) and make suggestions such as, “I understand how hard it can be to give gifts to someone who has significant health issues, so I thought it might help you make a decision if you know that this year, I really need [name the thing].” or “This year, why don’t we just go out to a nice meal [or other alternate activity], instead of exchanging gifts.” or “This year, I’m asking my friends that, if they really want to give me something, perhaps they can make a donation in my name to [charity dealing with the illness you have].”<\/p>\n

You can also couch your requests and comments in light of past years’ giving:<\/p>\n

“You know, I used to be able to eat [name the food], but I really can’t anymore. But I really enjoy [name something you can eat].”<\/p>\n

By making your constraints and needs known, you’re sending a clear signal that the other person, if acting out of care and love, will pick up and run with.<\/p>\n

If, on the other hand, you indicate you cannot, for example, eat sugary foods, and the other person gifts them to you anyway, having made yourself clear, you cannot feel guilty by refusing or re-gifting the gift to someone who might enjoy it.<\/p>\n

Peace,<\/p>\n

Maureen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you live with a chronic illness, or if you have constant pain that interferes with movement or other daily activities, you might be dreading the upcoming gift-giving season. Not because you don’t have much money to spend on loved ones (although you might not) and not because you don’t like navigating the malls or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[241,3,1422,43,1242,4,1047,578,383,379],"tags":[29,295,1958,1957],"class_list":["post-1889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas","category-chronic-pain-and-illness","category-chronic-pain-and-the-holidays","category-encouragement-in-life","category-food-for-thought","category-words-of-encouragemnent-and-info-for-all","category-good","category-goodness","category-heart-health","category-lupus-2","tag-chronic-illness","tag-gifts","tag-gifts-and-the-sick","tag-gifts-to-people-who-are-sick"],"yoast_head":"\nChronic Illness and Pain: Heading Off Holiday Shoppers! - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to ask for what you need\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2015\/11\/chronic-illness-and-pain-heading-off-holiday-shoppers.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chronic Illness and Pain: Heading Off Holiday Shoppers! 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She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1889"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1890,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions\/1890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}