{"id":1766,"date":"2015-08-11T20:06:13","date_gmt":"2015-08-11T20:06:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=1766"},"modified":"2015-08-02T20:16:58","modified_gmt":"2015-08-02T20:16:58","slug":"chronic-illness-being-competitive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2015\/08\/chronic-illness-being-competitive.html","title":{"rendered":"Chronic Illness: Being Competitive"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Image<\/a>
Image courtesy of tio 55\/FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I was first diagnosed with lupus, I asked my rheumatologist if she recommended I attend a patient support group. Her answer surprised me; she said ‘no,’ and explained that the experience might frighten me or make me depressed.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I did attend a support group, and I saw what she meant; there was an odd sort of competition among a few of the attendees, with one person explaining how “bad” her flare was, and another insisting hers was more serious. I’d never thought of illness being competitive, but there it was!<\/p>\n

Fortunately, also at that first support group, I met a woman who is, still today, one of my closest friends and “lupus warriors.” There’s no competition between us, but rather an eagerness to learn from one another (although I would say I’ve learned more from her longer experience than she might have from \u00a0mine!). So, I am happy I went.<\/p>\n

But, also, I have to say that the support group experience was not one that I stayed with. As I lived further on with lupus, I made more personal friends and the need for a group experience waned. Also, I found I was uncomfortable with the competitive nature of some of the patients; I am very competitive in some respects – when it comes to African violet shows, for example, or playing games such as tennis – but not when it comes to health matters. Those are not a “race” against someone else, and I sure don’t need to prove that my illness is “worse” or “better” than another patient’s.<\/p>\n

For me, the competition vis-a-vis my disabilities is myself against my illness. How can I take these health challenges, for example, and not allow them to degrade my spirit. \u00a0That, to me, is the appropriate kind of competitiveness I as a patient need to have.<\/p>\n

There will always be people who insist their suffering is “worse” than someone else’s. I try to distance myself from them (while still being compassionate) because their sense of competitiveness tends to sap the energy from where it really needs to be: within myself, against the constraints that lupus oh-so-constantly tries to place upon me.<\/p>\n

Peace,<\/p>\n

Maureen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1766"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1766\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1767,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1766\/revisions\/1767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}