{"id":1097,"date":"2014-03-26T22:49:58","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T22:49:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/?p=1097"},"modified":"2014-03-24T23:09:48","modified_gmt":"2014-03-24T23:09:48","slug":"the-myth-of-closure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html","title":{"rendered":"The myth of closure"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Image<\/a>
Image Courtesy of dan\/FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My heart goes out to all those touched by the loss of the Malaysian jetliner, which is said to have crashed into the Indian Ocean with all lives aboard lost. What agony the families and friends must be feeling, collectively and individually, and how horrible that their grief has been compounded by agonizing days of waiting for word, any word, about the fate of their loved ones.<\/p>\n

Now, on the news and in other reports, I’m hearing a lot about “closure,” and how it might be possible, once remnants of the plane are found and possible human remains, too, for family members and others to get “closure.” I feel as if, by saying this, we should think that tangible discoveries will somehow dull loss and assuage grief. But, having suffered many a loss myself, I am more inclined to believe that these proofs of the fate of the airliner and its passengers and crew might provide one piece of the puzzle, but true closure will probably never occur. And, in fact, in any heart-wrenching loss, closure doesn’t really put the lid on grief, either.<\/p>\n

A loss is felt in so many different ways and under different circumstances that it’s impossible to go through life afterward as if, completely, the loss never happened at all. As if, by going through the motions of facts, services, and closets and drawers, we can compartmentalize our loss so surely that it won’t re-emerge or hurt again. As if, after a certain timeframe after the loss, the days have passed and the future holds no looking back or feeling the loss. Some in society might think otherwise and expect that a person can get back to “normal” within a certain period of time. But those who have lost a loved one understand that days, years afterward, if we’re honest with ourselves, we think of things we’d like to say to the person who has passed. Or, we regret something and wish we could take it back. Or, we arrive at a milestone in our lives and wish that person were with us to celebrate, too. \u00a0Those who lost someone on the Malaysian airliner might expect closure, but what they’ll feel for years to come is something else entirely.<\/p>\n

Even in the moment of supreme grief, it is possible to laugh, remember fondly, love and have faith. As time passes, we have more moments of these and other positive, affirming emotions. Our spirits are truly resilient, and God is with us all the time, so He brings comfort every day and night. But, closure? Complete and final? I think that it really is \u00a0a myth.<\/p>\n

So, I’ll continue to pray for all those who’ve lost loved ones, whether on the flight or in other respects. Compassion for those who mourn doesn’t have an expiration date, just as grief doesn’t, either.<\/p>\n

Blessings for the day,<\/p>\n

Maureen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My heart goes out to all those touched by the loss of the Malaysian jetliner, which is said to have crashed into the Indian Ocean with all lives aboard lost. What agony the families and friends must be feeling, collectively and individually, and how horrible that their grief has been compounded by agonizing days of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,43,4],"tags":[153,975,831,632,30,86],"class_list":["post-1097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronic-pain-and-illness","category-encouragement-in-life","category-words-of-encouragemnent-and-info-for-all","tag-compassion","tag-grief","tag-loss-of-a-loved-one","tag-mourning","tag-pain","tag-suffering"],"yoast_head":"\nThe myth of closure - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The myth of closure - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My heart goes out to all those touched by the loss of the Malaysian jetliner, which is said to have crashed into the Indian Ocean with all lives aboard lost. What agony the families and friends must be feeling, collectively and individually, and how horrible that their grief has been compounded by agonizing days of…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-03-26T22:49:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-03-24T23:09:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/files\/2013\/09\/danFreedigitalphotos.net_-300x207.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mpratt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The myth of closure - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The myth of closure - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt","og_description":"My heart goes out to all those touched by the loss of the Malaysian jetliner, which is said to have crashed into the Indian Ocean with all lives aboard lost. What agony the families and friends must be feeling, collectively and individually, and how horrible that their grief has been compounded by agonizing days of…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html","og_site_name":"Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt","article_published_time":"2014-03-26T22:49:58+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-03-24T23:09:48+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/files\/2013\/09\/danFreedigitalphotos.net_-300x207.jpg"}],"author":"mpratt","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html","name":"The myth of closure - Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/files\/2013\/09\/danFreedigitalphotos.net_-300x207.jpg","datePublished":"2014-03-26T22:49:58+00:00","dateModified":"2014-03-24T23:09:48+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/#\/schema\/person\/b47fd8e9d9cc9750d5779f75b8669a32"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/files\/2013\/09\/danFreedigitalphotos.net_-300x207.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/files\/2013\/09\/danFreedigitalphotos.net_-300x207.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/2014\/03\/the-myth-of-closure.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The myth of closure"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/","name":"Good Days...Bad Days With Maureen Pratt","description":"Beliefnet Voices","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/#\/schema\/person\/b47fd8e9d9cc9750d5779f75b8669a32","name":"mpratt","description":"Several years ago, Maureen Pratt earned her Master of Fine Arts in Theater Arts\/Playwriting from UCLA's School of Theater, FIlm and Television. She expected to be writing scripts. God had other plans. A few years after her graduation, Maureen was diagnosed with a life-threatening case of organ-involved lupus. Her life turned upside down as she grappled with the effects of the illness and other health conditions that ensued. She was no stranger to serious health challenges; even as a child, Maureen had survived numerous bouts of pneumonia, flu, and other infections. But lupus made her take a fresh look at her life goals - and took herlifelong, strong Catholic Christian faith and writing in a direction she'd never imagined. Today, Maureen writes and speaks about walking with the Lord while living with chronic pain and illness. Her most recent book is \"Don't Panic!: How to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough (Franciscan Media). She is also the author of, \"Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain & Illness\" (Image Books\/Randomhouse), \"Beyond Pain: Job, Jesus, and Joy\" (Twenty-Third Publications), \"The First Year: Hypothyroidism, Second Edition\" (Perseus) and \"Taking Charge of Lupus: How to Manage the Disease and Make the Most of Your LIfe.\" She writes the syndicated column, \"Living Well,\" for Catholic News Service, and has also written for Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine, Journey for Women Magazine, The Upper Room Magazine, LupusNow, and Arthritis Today. Maureen's health continues to be a challenge, however she feels honored to be able to bring her perspective, from experience and knowledge, to others. \"Good Days...Bad Days with Maureen Pratt\" is a new way for Maureen to reach people who carry the burden of illness and pain in their lives, or who care for someone who does. Through the blog, she hopes to bring issues of health, wellness, and spirit into focus and, especially, inspire others that, no matter what health challenges, illness, or hardships they endure, each person can find a good way to realize the wonderful potential God has placed within each heart and soul.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.maureenpratt.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/author\/mpratt"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1097"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1097\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1098,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1097\/revisions\/1098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/gooddaysbaddays\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}