<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Americans We Then Nevertheless My Most Which It Only Over The I Let Guys I am <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Americans love to celebrate stuff. Heck that’s why we have holidays every month of the year; we need an excuse to celebrate. The celebration is the experience by the way, rarely are we actually celebrating what the holiday is for. You don’t believe me? We have a holiday called Arbor Day that apparently…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":223,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,6,3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comedy","category-family-life","category-news-and-current-events","category-politics"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nlove to celebrate stuff. Heck that’s why we have holidays every month of the
\nyear; we need an excuse to celebrate. The celebration is the experience by the
\nway, rarely are we actually celebrating what the holiday is for. You don’t
\nbelieve me?<\/span><\/p>\n
\nhave a holiday called Arbor Day that apparently is a celebration of trees. I
\ndon’t know what trees have to do with arbor especially since I don’t know what
\nan arbor is? They have cards for Arbor day which is funny to me since they have
\nto kill a tree in order to get the word out that we need to save trees! Nothing
\nfunnier than irony huh?<\/span><\/p>\n
\nagain I suppose if someone proposed a holiday called “Tree Day” everyone would
\nhave laughed and then you’d be promptly tarred and feathered. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nArbor Day is <\/i>a holiday but do you
\nknow anyone personally who celebrates trees? Sure maybe some hippie throwback
\nas well as some fringe eco-freaks that believe creation is equal in value to
\nhumans but I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about real people.<\/span><\/p>\n
\npoint is that somewhere in time some American was itching to have a celebration
\nand asked for “any celebration ideas”, and some cider impaired fellow American
\nwithout enough government sanctioned free time paused a moment and then blurted
\nout ” what about trees? They grow AND have leaves!”…Perfect, light up the
\nbar-b-cue”!<\/span><\/p>\n
\nholidays are designed to celebrate together as family, which is a nice
\nsentiment but in reality some holidays do seem to be more designed for specific
\ngenders.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nbrings us to the 4th of July. Of all the holidays during the year, none are
\nmore male than the 4th. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nstarted out celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence, which
\nmeant a bunch of guys were about to get into a big old fight and we dare you to
\nstop us. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nmen signed the declaration because 1) we wanted to protect our women and
\nchildren and 2) guys like<\/b> guns and
\nfights.<\/span><\/p>\n
\ntime the significance of that “historic document signing” celebration took a
\nback seat to a different celebration that comes from the biological fact that
\nin the very DNA composition of the male, lodged deeply in the very core of
\neverything that makes men, well, men<\/i>
\nis the incontrovertible truth that if you really want men to celebrate
\nsomething….make sure it comes with explosives.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n4th of July is the day that even the police turn their heads as men on every
\nblock of the nation get to blow things up! Living in Tennessee that means
\nmortars exploding 500 feet in the air, roman candles shooting fireballs at each
\nother and every possible form of firecracker.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nfeel sorry for men in states that are too wussie to allow fireworks. California
\nfor example where I moved from have “fireworks” but they amount to “snakes”
\nwhich “thrill you” with the excitement of ashes, and sparklers which are great
\nfor kids………..which is my point<\/i>.
\nThe 4th was supposed to represent a courageous but dangerous time in America.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nme make this perfectly clear, if you have a device that needs to be lit and yet
\ndoesn’t have the potential to blow your hand clean off at the wrist…IT’S NOT
\nA FIREWORK!! It’s a glorified match!! <\/span><\/p>\n
\nknow this intuitively which is why when boys get sparklers to play with it
\ntakes less than 2 minutes before they are tossing them towards the yard trying
\nto make them stick in the ground while dad fetches the hose for the inevitable
\nsparkler on the neighbors roof scenario that keeps the 4th<\/sup> festive. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nproud of my nation and the men and women who built it and I wish all of you a
\ngreat 4th<\/sup> of July. Hope to see you in the emergency room!<\/span><\/p>\n