Old people fall down a lot. I use
\nthe word “old” by the way because the PCeople tell me I can’t so I have no
\nchoice. Anyways they’re covered in bruises and splints, and surrounded by casts
\nand canes. Is this what we have to look forward to as we enter our golden
\nyears?<\/span><\/p>\nWe get to spend our final days
\nfalling over periodically and the next day wondering why were in traction, with
\nour loved ones hovering over us with juice and a copy of our living will.<\/p>\n
Seems like there should be a
\nspecialized safety product line just for seniors. If we can come up with
\nhelmets and kneepads for kids on bikes, how hard would it be to create a
\n“senior suit” designed to fend off any potential sporadic collapses to the floor?<\/p>\n
A pant\/jacket ensemble made
\nentirely of bubble wrap would be the first thing that comes to mind; a cheap
\nand simple way to cushion the blow of a toppled senior. <\/p>\n
Old people also lose their hearing,
\neyesight and memory. I used to think this was a tragedy but perhaps God in His
\nall-knowing way realized that this was a result of the fall, no pun intended.<\/p>\n
Since by His own law he couldn’t
\nchange the crippling effects of old age, maybe He allowed some of the
\ndebilitations to come to our rescue.<\/p>\n
We lose our memory not so that we
\nforget our past (most seniors remember their early history perfectly) but so we
\nCAN forget the present, which we already stated isn’t that pleasant anyway.<\/p>\n
If you fall down a lot it’s
\nembarrassing and is a reminder you aren’t long for this world. With a withered
\nshort-term memory the relatives can cheer you up by saying you broke your hip
\nwater skiing and threw out your shoulder on that cross-country mountain bike
\nexcursion!<\/p>\n
Look how much more exciting we can
\nmake their last days become!! <\/p>\n
We lose eye-site just so as not to
\nbe able to discern in a mirror how old we look since no matter how old one gets
\nchronologically, we still can’t believe it happened to us! <\/p>\n
No one ever feels over 18 in their
\nmind. It’s how you feel in your bones and look like in your face that is there
\nto remind us or mock us depending on your perspective.<\/p>\n
<\/span>Of course God begins to remove our audio sense, not as some
\nkind of cosmic retribution for sin but actually to alleviate us constantly hearing
\nthe ungrateful grandkids bickering over who’ll get the crystal and who’ll get
\nthe lake house.<\/p>\nIn the Bible, Paul teaches us that
\nin ” whatever state I’m in, in that to be content”, and for the elderly he was
\nobviously referring to the state of Florida. <\/p>\n
The one place in the U.S. where the
\nblind are literally leading the blind and even when you fall there is someone
\nthere to pick you up and take you home, or at least drag you behind a golf cart
\nand leave you in the driveway.<\/p>\n
Who cares? You won’t remember it
\ntomorrow anyway! You’ll just think you got home from a triathlon.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Old people fall down a lot. I use the word “old” by the way because the PCeople tell me I can’t so I have no choice. Anyways they’re covered in bruises and splints, and surrounded by casts and canes. Is this what we have to look forward to as we enter our golden years? We…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":223,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,1,6,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christian-living","category-comedy","category-family-life","category-news-and-current-events"],"yoast_head":"\n
I've fallen and can't get my dignity! - God's Comic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/02\/ive-fallen-and-cant-get-my-dignity.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I've fallen and can't get my dignity! - God's Comic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Old people fall down a lot. I use the word “old” by the way because the PCeople tell me I can’t so I have no choice. Anyways they’re covered in bruises and splints, and surrounded by casts and canes. Is this what we have to look forward to as we enter our golden years? 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Fear not, true believers \u00e2\u20ac\u201c with his brand new album, Brad Stine is here to save the world from WUSSIFICATION \u00e2\u20ac\u201c one politically-correct, offended person at a time!\"","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/author\/bstine"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/223"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}