{"id":42,"date":"2011-01-31T12:46:24","date_gmt":"2011-01-31T12:46:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html"},"modified":"2011-01-31T12:46:24","modified_gmt":"2011-01-31T12:46:24","slug":"didnt-god-invent-our-privates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html","title":{"rendered":"Didn&#8217;t GOD invent our &#8220;privates&#8221;?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--StartFragment--><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'Times New Roman'\">When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating<br \/>\nfrom the tree of good and evil, one of the &#8220;evil&#8221; things they came to realize<br \/>\nwas they were naked.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>I don&#8217;t know exactly why being naked with your<br \/>\nwife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>It seems to me it should have been considered<br \/>\nexactly how it felt <i>prior<\/i> to the<br \/>\napple&#8230;GOOD!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><span>&nbsp;<\/span>I<br \/>\ncan&#8217;t speak for women, but for a man to get to wander around outside nude<br \/>\nsurrounded by beautiful trees and sky and, oh yeah, a naked lady, would still<br \/>\nbe paradise in my book. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>Men love the outdoors and being naked while<br \/>\nthere is simply a bonus. Nothing and I mean nothing makes a man feel more like<br \/>\na man than peeing outside.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>So, the shame that came with nakedness must have<br \/>\nbeen the beginning of the shyness that comes with <i>others<\/i> seeing us naked. That &#8220;other&#8221; being God at the time would<br \/>\nmake it even more traumatic since apparently he didn&#8217;t want us to &#8220;know&#8221; we<br \/>\nwere nude. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>But it seems to me that takes all the fun out of<br \/>\nit. If prior to the apple incident, seeing my wife naked wasn&#8217;t exciting, it<br \/>\ndefeats the purpose of being nude, which as I already said is one of men&#8217;s<br \/>\nfavorite scenarios.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>God knew they were nude but wondered how they<br \/>\nfound out which could only mean that once they did they would feel less<br \/>\ncomfortable sharing that nudeness with God which is still strange since he made<br \/>\nthem that way and obviously never felt awkward being around them prior to that.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>This fear of nudeness to strangers seems to be<br \/>\ncommon now amongst most civilization&#8217;s though there are tribes in south America<br \/>\nand Africa that walk around nude or partially so and apparently aren&#8217;t ashamed of<br \/>\nit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>Even though some of the nude people are 70 year<br \/>\nold men and women; which if you&#8217;ve had a chance to see them in all their senior<br \/>\nanatomical splendor, would cause me, if I was chief, to make my first decree &#8220;The<br \/>\ngods have spoken to the learned ones in a dream and now demand the sacred<br \/>\nelderly to wear some kind of holy bra and loincloth otherwise we will have no<br \/>\nchoice but to gouge out our own eyes&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>The only time people in <b>western<\/b> culture are nude in front of a stranger without fear of<br \/>\nbeing arrested is doctor&#8217;s visits. Though after the fall aside from being<br \/>\nembarrassed at being nude, we as a group are also now going to get sick once in<br \/>\nawhile and need to be closely examined<span style=\"color:red\"> <\/span>preferably<br \/>\nby someone we don&#8217;t know whose only qualification is they have a stethoscope. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>We have all been trained that when a stranger<br \/>\nwith a stethoscope asks you to remove your clothes we&#8217;ll do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>As a guy part of <b>that<\/b> consequence, by the way, is to have this unknown assailant,<br \/>\nprofessional though he may be, physically grab, knead, and or examine our<br \/>\nmanhood from bough to stern while we get to make coughing noises since having<br \/>\nyour privates groped by a strange man wasn&#8217;t as humiliating as it needed to be for<br \/>\n500 bucks a shot so why not make us bark too. Just gives them more funny<br \/>\nstories to share at the lunchroom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span>So all I&#8217;m saying is when God asks you not to<br \/>\neat from a particular tree&#8230;your best bet is to take heed or it could lead to doctor&#8217;s<br \/>\nvisits, which, as we discovered can be disturbing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><span>&nbsp;<\/span>That<br \/>\nis unless having a strange man with a degree touching your junk isn&#8217;t<br \/>\ndisturbing to you&#8230;and by the <span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span>way, if it isn&#8217;t &#8230;you need prayer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!--EndFragment--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating from the tree of good and evil, one of the &#8220;evil&#8221; things they came to realize was they were naked. I don&#8217;t know exactly why being naked with your wife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil? It seems to me it&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":223,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,1,6,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christian-living","category-comedy","category-family-life","category-news-and-current-events"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Didn&#039;t GOD invent our &quot;privates&quot;? - God&#039;s Comic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Didn&#039;t GOD invent our &quot;privates&quot;? - God&#039;s Comic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating from the tree of good and evil, one of the &#8220;evil&#8221; things they came to realize was they were naked. I don&#8217;t know exactly why being naked with your wife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil? It seems to me it&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"God&#039;s Comic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-01-31T12:46:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brad Stine\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Didn't GOD invent our \"privates\"? - God&#039;s Comic","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Didn't GOD invent our \"privates\"? - God&#039;s Comic","og_description":"When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating from the tree of good and evil, one of the &#8220;evil&#8221; things they came to realize was they were naked. I don&#8217;t know exactly why being naked with your wife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil? It seems to me it&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html","og_site_name":"God&#039;s Comic","article_published_time":"2011-01-31T12:46:24+00:00","author":"Brad Stine","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html","name":"Didn't GOD invent our \"privates\"? - God&#039;s Comic","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-01-31T12:46:24+00:00","dateModified":"2011-01-31T12:46:24+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/#\/schema\/person\/243d86fd9261f0ca95264b80e71e80e9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2011\/01\/didnt-god-invent-our-privates.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Didn&#8217;t GOD invent our &#8220;privates&#8221;?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/","name":"God&#039;s Comic","description":"God&#039;s Comic - Brad Stine","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/#\/schema\/person\/243d86fd9261f0ca95264b80e71e80e9","name":"Brad Stine","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/870\/870f4e7ff5414a60daaefcce61009a6cx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/870\/870f4e7ff5414a60daaefcce61009a6cx96.jpg","caption":"Brad Stine"},"description":"\"Brad Stine is on a mission \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a mission to free us all from the chains of political correctness and prevent our eventual \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwussification.' From his Nashville stronghold, Stine is mounting his crusade against these hypocrisies, all of which are explored in his highly anticipated 4th album\/DVD, aptly titled \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcWUSSIFICATION!' \"You know what offends me?... Offended people,\" says Stine. A staunch supporter of first amendment rights and foe of political correctness, Stine asserts that rights should be universally applied. \"In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.\" The strength of his conviction about our freedoms can be found in many places on WUSSIFICATION \u00e2\u20ac\u201c from \"Merry Christmas Too!\" (the right to celebrate religion) to \"At Least We're Not France!\" (the responsibility to take action as a country) to \"Spank\" (the ability to discipline our children the way we see fit). What would cause the wussification of Brad Stine? \"I hope that nothing ever wussifies me to deny my own personal beliefs,\" he says. \"Brainwashed wussies have been taught that standing up for yourself and defending your personal point of view makes you a close-minded hate monger.\" Stine stops short of defending his point of view as the ONLY one, adding \"...one must also be respectful of dissenting belief while supporting their own.\" He is, after all, an inclusive figure who trains his comedy to attack ideas, not the people who embrace them. Stine's faith forces him to acknowledge the respect and dignity of all\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 even the wussies with whom he disagrees! Stine models his approach to comedy after legendary practitioners that he has known and loved over the years. Despite George Carlin's disdain for theistic beliefs, he has been a big influence on Stine. \"I always enjoyed Carlin for turning the tables on culture. He is an excellent writer that has endured for decades.\" More current comedic touchstones are Brian Reagan, Paula Poundstone, Jim Gaffigan and Monty Python, among others. Fear not, true believers \u00e2\u20ac\u201c with his brand new album, Brad Stine is here to save the world from WUSSIFICATION \u00e2\u20ac\u201c one politically-correct, offended person at a time!\"","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/author\/bstine"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/223"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}