{"id":298,"date":"2014-08-05T08:50:09","date_gmt":"2014-08-05T12:50:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/?p=298"},"modified":"2014-08-05T08:50:09","modified_gmt":"2014-08-05T12:50:09","slug":"no-cell-signal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2014\/08\/no-cell-signal.html","title":{"rendered":"No cell &#8220;signal&#8221;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have complained about the lack of turn signals being used in America in one of my DVD&#8217;s awhile back. (Which one I&#8217;m unsure of as believe it or not I forget half the stuff I do on an old album cause I&#8217;m always working on a new one.)<\/p>\n<p>I was really flabbergasted though as people even began stopping in the middle of the road to go left or right w\/o a signal. (Probably to make it more difficult to know which direction to point your head in order to yell at them in time?) But the other day I figured out what started the lack of signals phenomenon. Do YOU know? Take a sec to guess before I tell you&#8230;.ready?&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..<strong>cell phones<\/strong>!<\/p>\n<p>People began holding the phone to their ear and were unable, in mid conversation, to get to the signal. So&#8230;since their conversation was more critical than common courtesy, safety, <strong>and <\/strong>obeying the law, a new narcissistic pattern was inserted into society.<\/p>\n<p>Phones used to come on cords which accomplished two important things 1) kept you in the designated &#8220;phone area&#8221; so I or anyone else in the restaurant \/ waiting area \/ checkout line, weren&#8217;t subjected to your one-way conversation reminiscent of a drunk or recently released schizophrenic. Cords were reminiscent of a <em>leash<\/em> to keep you from wandering all over the neighborhood, but instead, to stay in your own area where others can avoid your barking or having you urinate on their lawn.<\/p>\n<p>The other plus to the cord was it kept you from carrying on a phone conversation while driving. I know it seems nit-picky but I would just assume you focus on driving instead of your conversation telling your friend what time you think you&#8217;ll arrive since YOU&#8217;RE GOING TO BE THERE IN A FEW MINUTES ANYWAY!<\/p>\n<p>I find it telling that technology constantly seems to provide for the individual while isolating and dismissing the community. Making life easier and more convenient for me means how it affects you becomes irrelevant. I promise you will never see me driving my car while holding a phone to my ear; I have a hands free device! At least I always signal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have complained about the lack of turn signals being used in America in one of my DVD&#8217;s awhile back. (Which one I&#8217;m unsure of as believe it or not I forget half the stuff I do on an old album cause I&#8217;m always working on a new one.) I was really flabbergasted though as&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":223,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[98],"class_list":["post-298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comedy","tag-courtesy-rudeness-traffic-laws"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>No cell &quot;signal&quot;. - God&#039;s Comic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/2014\/08\/no-cell-signal.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"No cell &quot;signal&quot;. - God&#039;s Comic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have complained about the lack of turn signals being used in America in one of my DVD&#8217;s awhile back. 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From his Nashville stronghold, Stine is mounting his crusade against these hypocrisies, all of which are explored in his highly anticipated 4th album\/DVD, aptly titled \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcWUSSIFICATION!' \"You know what offends me?... Offended people,\" says Stine. A staunch supporter of first amendment rights and foe of political correctness, Stine asserts that rights should be universally applied. \"In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.\" The strength of his conviction about our freedoms can be found in many places on WUSSIFICATION \u00e2\u20ac\u201c from \"Merry Christmas Too!\" (the right to celebrate religion) to \"At Least We're Not France!\" (the responsibility to take action as a country) to \"Spank\" (the ability to discipline our children the way we see fit). What would cause the wussification of Brad Stine? \"I hope that nothing ever wussifies me to deny my own personal beliefs,\" he says. \"Brainwashed wussies have been taught that standing up for yourself and defending your personal point of view makes you a close-minded hate monger.\" Stine stops short of defending his point of view as the ONLY one, adding \"...one must also be respectful of dissenting belief while supporting their own.\" He is, after all, an inclusive figure who trains his comedy to attack ideas, not the people who embrace them. Stine's faith forces him to acknowledge the respect and dignity of all\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 even the wussies with whom he disagrees! Stine models his approach to comedy after legendary practitioners that he has known and loved over the years. Despite George Carlin's disdain for theistic beliefs, he has been a big influence on Stine. \"I always enjoyed Carlin for turning the tables on culture. He is an excellent writer that has endured for decades.\" More current comedic touchstones are Brian Reagan, Paula Poundstone, Jim Gaffigan and Monty Python, among others. Fear not, true believers \u00e2\u20ac\u201c with his brand new album, Brad Stine is here to save the world from WUSSIFICATION \u00e2\u20ac\u201c one politically-correct, offended person at a time!\"","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/author\/bstine"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/223"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":299,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions\/299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/godscomic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}