At one point or another, we\u2019ll all face the sting of gossip. Someone takes a half truth about us, our family, our career, and twists it and spreads it.\u00a0 Sometimes the truth is twisted and that ends up being destructive rather than in a private environment of grace. \u00a0Other times, gossip is an out-and-out lie, spread maliciously or naively in destructive ways.<\/p>\n
I remember my daughter coming through the front door in tears as students at her school were bombarding her with accusations and questions about her brother. She was embarrassed, hurt, and unprepared to deal with the onslaught of half truths, partial truths, and just inappropriate comments. She was angry at the \u201cgossipers\u201d and hurt by on behalf of our family and herself. \u00a0As a Dad, you want to \u201crescue your kids\u201d from this nonsense, but you know, gossip is part of life. So how do you teach them to deal with it when it\u2019s aimed at them, and manage it when it\u2019s aimed at others?<\/p>\n
In the workplace, having a \u201cstick your head in the sand\u201d and \u201chold your breath and wait\u201d management style has rarely been successful. Gossip is something that must be addressed quickly.\u00a0 For example, whenever an employee comes in and starts badmouthing another employee, hold on a minute and call the other person into the room. \u00a0Immediately, the first person\u2019s tone changes, accusations calm down, and the culture is established. \u201cIf we have concerns, we talk directly to one another…\u201d Why confront gossip?<\/p>\n
<\/strong>Let me tell you a story about how Gossip divided a kingdom and a family…<\/p>\n There is a man in the Bible named David. A King. A Leader. A Poet. A Warrior… The little boy who killed Goliath is now ruling an empire. And one of the recurring problems in his personal life is his inability to combat gossip quickly.\u00a0 In this short account of his life, we see WHY WE SHOULD COMBAT GOSSIP QUICKLY.<\/p>\n 2 Samuel 15: 1 After this it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him. 2 Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, \u201cWhat city are you from?\u201d And he would say, \u201cYour servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel.\u201d 3 Then Absalom would say to him, \u201cLook, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.\u201d 4 Moreover Absalom would say, \u201cOh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.\u201d 5 And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. 6 In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.<\/em><\/p>\n 7 Now it came to pass after forty years that Absalom said to the king, \u201cPlease, let me go to Hebron and pay the vow which I made to the LORD. 8 For your servant took a vow while I dwelt at Geshur in Syria, saying, \u2018If the LORD indeed brings me back to Jerusalem, then I will serve the LORD.\u2019\u201d \u00a09 And the king said to him, \u201cGo in peace.\u201d So he arose and went to Hebron. \u00a010 Then Absalom sent spies throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, \u201cAs soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then you shall say, \u2018Absalom reigns in Hebron!\u2019\u201d 11 And with Absalom went two hundred men invited from Jerusalem, and they went along innocently and did not know anything. 12 Then Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David\u2019s counselor, from his city \u2014 from Giloh \u2014 while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy grew strong, for the people with Absalom continually increased in number.<\/em><\/p>\n David\u2019s son Absalom used gossip to undermine his father, destroying his father\u2019s reputation, and began a conspiracy and mutiny against him. \u00a0How did he do it? \u00a0He got up early, took time to plant the seeds of dissent among the people. He was empathetic, compassionate, while mentioning, \u201cMy dad doesn\u2019t have time for you…\u201d \u00a0But… IF \u201cI\u201d was in charge… \u00a0\u00a0And He did it right under his fathers nose. Even when he left to \u201cgather the troops…\u201d His dad was so clueless, he sent him off with the traditional goodbye, \u201cGo in peace.\u201d Meanwhile Absalom wants a \u201cpiece\u201d of flesh from his father by taking the kingdom. \u00a0This turning point in the kingdom rips the family, the kingdom, and the entire empire right down the middle. The next few years are a path of carnage and pain and relational\/business devastation.<\/p>\n If You Don\u2019t Uproot Gossip Today, Gossip Will Uproot Your Tomorrow.<\/strong><\/p>\n It will take courage. It will take overcoming naivety. It will require awkward conversations and time you don\u2019t have…but if you don\u2019t take time to confront gossip today, gossip will uproot your tomorrow. \u00a0\u00a0How?\u00a0 We see how it happened in David\u2019s kingdom. Absalom stole the hearts of the people. It easy to make promises on the campaign trail and throw stones at the one in leadership. It\u2019s harder to lead others than to appease others. \u00a0 Here are two animals we need to eliminate if we are going to uproot gossip today and keep gossip from uprooting our tomorrow:\u00a0 1) Ignore your inner ostrich and 2) fight your inner goat.<\/p>\n Ignore Your Inner Ostrich<\/span> There is an inner ostrich in all of us we must fight. \u00a0The ostrich both hides and ignores danger by sticking his head in the sand, rather than coming out to address and see the problem. \u00a0David needed to fight his inner ostrich. He needed to get out of his castle and see what his son was doing, what his people needed. Even those who followed Absalom needed to fight their inner ostrich. The writer tells us that many who went along with Absalom to stage this mutiny were unaware: \u201cThey didn\u2019t know what was going on\u201d \u00a0vs 11. \u00a0\u00a0They didn\u2019t know they\u2019d been sucked into a conspiracy.<\/p>\n When a gossip befriends us, it does so slowly and carefully. Gossip is a passive aggressive form of rebellion. \u00a0It\u2019s a way of undermining someone without confronting them directly. Just as your inner ostrich is motivated by fear, \u00a0you refuse to speak directly to the person he has a problem with.<\/p>\n Churches are filled with people…people who gossip. And there will come a time that you gossip and someone calls you on it. And when that time comes, I hope you too can admit the truth. \u00a0 A church is not a group of perfect people, but a group that helps each other ignore the inner ostrich that keeps us hiding our heads from our mistakes. We must fight the inner ostrich in all of us that is too fearful to address issues head on. We must do it sooner rather than later because the consequences are devastating. \u00a0Remember if we don\u2019t uproot gossip today, it will uproot our tomorrow.<\/p>\n Fight Your Inner Goat<\/span> 2 Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate…. 4 Moreover Absalom would say, \u201cOh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.\u201d 5 And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. 6 In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. \u00a010 Then Absalom sent spies throughout all the tribes of Israel<\/em><\/p>\n Here we see the techniques of gossip, going early, staying late, being in a place to \u201ccatch the gossip.\u201d Planting doubts about superiors, and implanting seeds of \u201cI\u2019d be a better manager than him.\u201d Sending out little spies to get the juicy morsels. \u00a0Absalom\u2019s inner goat eats and eats and eats and eats… \u00a0And it\u2019s hard not to get caught up in it all. \u00a0It\u2019s hard to fight the inner goat…especially if you are in denial that you even have one.<\/p>\n So how do you combat gossip? First you realize that if you don\u2019t uproot gossip today, it will uproot your tomorrow. Second you identify your inner ostrich and goat…but grace is the motivation that makes it all work.<\/p>\n
\nThe account of David life begins with the phrase, \u201cAfter that happened\u201d in vs 1, \u00a0without going into all the detail, here are some highlights. Absalom\u2019s sister was attacked and raped by her step brother and David didn\u2019t step up and get involved. Absalom took matters into his own hands and killed the assailant, Absalom ran for his life, but his father never went after him. Absalom moved back to town years later, but his father ignored him. Absalom burned the fields of David’s general to get his attention, still David ignored him. David was trapped by his inner ostrich. He didn\u2019t know or want to know about the problems in his kingdom and family. He\u2019d rather be naive and blissfully naive. And that inner ostrich that has served him so poorly in the past is back, now that Absalom is back. He now ignores the obvious insubordination and gossip of his son at the front gate of his kingdom.<\/p>\n
\nI don\u2019t run into goats very often. When we were in Belize a few years ago, I saw a family with a goat that would eat anything. The goat ate clothes, garbage, food, and literally anything you put in its path. \u00a0The Bible says that there is an inner goat in all of us. There is an Absalom in all of us that feeds on gossip. We gobble up little tidbits about others. We want to \u201cpassively\u201d rebel, enjoy the power of \u201cbeing in the know,\u201d and elevate ourselves by taking others down.<\/p>\n\n
\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=RAIwlPVWU8c<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n