So, I\u2019m on my way to spend some time with my younger daughter, Brittany, and do some father-daughter bonding\u2026over pedicures.<\/p>\n
Bonding is one of those things that we talk about but, at least in my case, had largely left to her mom and my late wife, Sharon. But bonding is what I promised I would do when Sharon was no longer with us.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you don\u2019t think that real men do girly things,\u201d she said, part of the series of life lessons she offered before her passing from ALS. \u201cBut our girls need you every bit as much as me, and even more after I\u2019m gone.\u201d She adjusted her hospital bed to bring her eyes level with mine. \u201cSo you WILL bond. You will do things you never expected to do, because that\u2019s part of what unconditional love is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n
And so I committed to rethinking my relationship with our girls, Brittany and Chelsea, and developing a friendship with her \u201csister\/friend\u201d of more than half a century, Nancy. I would explore Unconditional Love, one of the ten promises I made to her. Death, she said, brings \u201cgrief but it also brings opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head. \u201cAre you kidding me?<\/p>\n
\u201cSerious,\u201d she said, and then giggled. \u201cDead serious.\u201d<\/p>\n
I rolled my eyes.<\/p>\n
Remember \u201c\u2019love means never having to say you\u2019re sorry\u2019?\u201d I nodded. \u201cWell, love means never having to turn down a pedicure\u2014you\u2019re going to take my place with Brittany…promise?\u201d<\/p>\n
And so I promised, and committed to follow the principles she laid out for me, that I would live fully and well after her passing, and would share her approach to life with our girls and her sister\/friend.<\/p>\n
But a pedicure? I was apprehensive even as I committed. First pedicures, I thought, and then heels.. Slippery slope. Not good, especially as I\u2019m in my second career, a professor at Liberty University, the world\u2019s largest evangelical Christian university. What does the Bible say about pedicures? Moses probably could have used one, what with all that wandering around the desert\u2014but did he get one, say, before he visited Pharaoh? Not the first time I regretted neglecting the Old Testament.<\/p>\n
But I committed to a pedicure in her place as the first step toward bonding. What next, I asked myself. Pink shirts? Painted toenails? The only other person I know who wears pink shirts is our department chair, and nobody says anything because\u2026well, he\u2019s the boss. And he doesn\u2019t wear heels\u2014at least not around the university.<\/p>\n
Fast forward. Now, love for my late wife and a commitment to make the world a better place, starting with family and friend, has me on my way to a seaside resort to sit next to my daughter while someone takes a sander to my feet. And how exactly do you bond when a perfect stranger is clutching your toes and peeling your skin away from the bone?<\/p>\n
The stuff of nightmares. Rewind. And what happens, I asked her, if I have a pedicure moment?<\/p>\n
\u201cPedicure moment?\u201d she rasped.<\/p>\n
\u201cSort of like a senior moment,\u201d I said, \u201cBut for a guy, with worse consequences.\u201d What if I mentally drift, and allow polish on my toenails\u2014am I still a man, can I remain a professor at a Christian university? Before I joined the faculty at Liberty I was a consumer merchandising executive, a tough operator used to leading\u2014\u201cyou remember\u2014a manly man,\u201d I said. But now I\u2019m a university professor…but, I mused, if any guy could get away with wearing toenail polish it would be a professor.<\/p>\n
She laughed. Good to hear. \u201cGo with dusky beige,\u201d she said. \u201cIt will play off your tan. You tan wonderfully.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then, ever the devout Christian, she came through with a bit of Bible: \u201cFear not,\u201d she said, bonding and giving, \u201ceven to the point of pedicure,\u201d is part of unconditional love. Let unexpected setbacks \u201csuch as my passing\u201d give you permission to break out of old patterns. In fact, all setbacks do.\u201d She lay back, exhausted from talking. \u201cThat\u2019s tonight\u2019s lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n
And so, 11\u00a0months later, I\u2019m on my way to meet Brittany and do the spa thing. And, the more I think about it, dusky beige polish would, in fact, play off my tan!<\/p>\n
But most important: As that great theologian, Meat Loaf, with whom I once hit some balls before a golf tournament in Davenport, Iowa, the only time I’ve been close to a hall of fame philosopher, so aptly put it: \u201cI would do anything for love\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, I\u2019m on my way to spend some time with my younger daughter, Brittany, and do some father-daughter bonding\u2026over pedicures. Bonding is one of those things that we talk about but, at least in my case, had largely left to her mom and my late wife, Sharon. But bonding is what I promised I would…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":581,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-unconditional-love"],"yoast_head":"\n