{"id":838,"date":"2009-12-30T11:54:45","date_gmt":"2009-12-30T11:54:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/freshliving\/2009\/12\/how-to-listen-are-you-a-chronic-interrupter.html"},"modified":"2009-12-30T11:54:45","modified_gmt":"2009-12-30T11:54:45","slug":"how-to-listen-are-you-a-chronic-interrupter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/2009\/12\/how-to-listen-are-you-a-chronic-interrupter.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Listen — Are You a Chronic Interrupter?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\"Ear\"<\/span>Recall this very funny Fran Lebowitz quote? “The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.” <\/p>\n

That’s what most of us tend to do, at least some of the time–wait for our moment instead of fully giving space for someone else’s. Our content partner Divine Caroline<\/a> has a great article called “Conversation Killers: How to Stop Interrupting Others<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

Here’s a snippet: “It’s so hard to quell the impulse to interject, especially when you have a relatable story or a point you don’t want to miss making. Perhaps that’s why chronic interrupting is a trait shared by so many, including some of the nicest, most caring people I know.”  <\/p>\n

The deep sad irony being that many of us just want to be heard–not shocking in a nation of mega-talkers starved for the slowing down, silence, and receptivity true listening requires.<\/p>\n

 Interestingly, the article parses the difference between “collaborative interrupting” and “competitive interrupting”–the former being that “Oh, me too–when I was 10…” thing we do. The latter is a more abrupt style of trying to change the conversation completely. The author, Vicki Santillano, writes: “Both prevent the other people we’re conversing with from speaking their minds freely. Both make them feel that their feelings on the matter aren’t worth as much as ours.” <\/p>\n

Point taken. What are some of your listening tips?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out the whole article on how to stop interrupting<\/strong><\/a>.  <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Related Features<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

Listening Tip # 1: Listening for Beauty<\/a><\/p>\n

Listening Tip #2: Don’t Pile On<\/a><\/p>\n

How to Speak Peace: ‘Feeding Two Birds with One Seed’<\/a> <\/p>\n

[Image via: http:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Ear.jpg<\/a>] <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Like what you see? <\/strong>Click here to subscribe<\/strong><\/font><\/a> and get Fresh Living in your in-box every day.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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She was a founding editor at Breathe magazine, and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Newsweek, Women's Health, Natural Health, Yoga Journal, Lime.com, Vegetarian Times, and ABCNEWS.com. A native New Yorker, Valerie holds an M.S. from Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism and a B.A. from Beloit College in Creative Writing with a minor in Women's Studies. She also lived in Maui for a while where she drank green papaya juice and taught some creative writing. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/author\/vreiss"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=838"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/838\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/freshliving\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}