{"id":918,"date":"2011-12-22T11:50:21","date_gmt":"2011-12-22T11:50:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/?p=918"},"modified":"2018-07-20T21:23:01","modified_gmt":"2018-07-20T21:23:01","slug":"top-8-weirdest-holiday-gifts-for-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2011\/12\/top-8-weirdest-holiday-gifts-for-children.html","title":{"rendered":"Top 8 Weirdest Holiday Gifts for Children"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Some friends in a recent Christmas letter joked about their search for just the right present for their newborn baby. \u00a0After scouring Amazon.com for gift ideas, they came up with a number of questionable gift ideas for young children, the likes of which appear below. \u00a0If you’re still searching for just the right gift, you might find it here, thanks to consumer-parent researchers Seth and Molly Phelps:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

1.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Playmobil \u2013 Security Checkpoint.\u00a0 Life sure has changed since I was a kid.\u00a0 I get construction, policeman, fireman, etc…\u00a0 Do kids really want to play, let\u2019s queue up for the TSA screening?\u00a0 Or are you really playing the heroic TSA agent patting down the disgruntled masses?\u00a0 How sad is that?\u00a0 I note that the passenger glows in the dark when the lights are turned off as if she is going through an x-ray like in the movie Total Recall and it shows that she has a gun on her.\u00a0 At least it wasn\u2019t the bad “guy” this time.\u00a0 A liberated toy.\u00a0 Anyway, I prefer the Playmobil \u2013 Secret CIA Rendition\/Interrogation Center with waterboarding accessories.\u00a0 At least you get to take your frustrations out on the true bad guys, or those unlucky enough to be caught in the dragnet, as opposed to hapless airline travelers.<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Playmobil-3172-Security-Check-Point\/dp\/B0002CYTL2\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323911778&sr=8-1<\/a><\/div>\n
2.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Playmobil \u2013 Simulated Coal.\u00a0 For scrooges out there you can actually buy a fake pile of coal safe for little kids to chew.\u00a0 By itself this would be a statement on a child\u2019s behavior.\u00a0 Tied with the right Playmobil set it becomes a fun accessory!\u00a0 Awesome and potential double meaning.\u00a0 I got you coal for Christmas!\u00a0 That’s great, it’s exactly what I wanted!\u00a0 Yeah, I’m sure that’s why I bought it….because you wanted it.<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Playmobil-7843-Coal-Bulk-Cargo\/dp\/B000K2UCTW\/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1323911876&sr=1-1<\/a><\/div>\n
3.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Baby Toupees.\u00a0 Just in case your baby\u2019s missing hairline scares you make sure you check outwww.babytoupee.com<\/a>\u00a0and pick up a few choice looks.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking Luke as a Rastafarian.<\/div>\n
4.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Food Chain Friends.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m a big fan of Darwinian survival of the fittest but I draw the line at a series of plush toys for your kids that simulate it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s let kids have a childhood free from the dog eat dog world that adults know.\u00a0 Of course as a child I did read the book – There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly.\u00a0 In the end after eating ever larger animals she ultimately dies.\u00a0 I turned out alright I guess so maybe these plush animals are fine.<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Food-Chain-Friends-Gamma-Set\/dp\/B002RTMI7U\/ref=sr_1_2?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1323911909&sr=1-2<\/a><\/div>\n
5.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0My Cleaning Trolly \u2013 I have a few more hopes and dreams for Luke than janitor so this one\u2019s out.\u00a0 Besides, the tools should be real so that he actually keeps the house clean if you are going to go this far.\u00a0 While you\u2019re at it why not a Onesie made out of ShamWows.\u00a0 Just scoot him around on the floor and it would also absorb any liquids he generates!\u00a0 Pushin\u2019 stick sold separately.\u00a0 Perhaps it\u2019s good preparation for our future Chinese overlords as they will likely need cheap cleaning services after they own most of the USA.<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Cleaning-Trolley-Hand-Vacuum-Cleaner\/dp\/B0006NDCMY\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323912329&sr=8-1<\/a><\/div>\n
6.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Gelli Baff \u2013 Imagine liquid, inedible jello that you play in.\u00a0 The box depicts the kids not only playing with it but actually submerged in it.\u00a0 As if play dough isn\u2019t bad enough to get off carpet and floors.\u00a0 Besides do we want to encourage wrestling in jello? Furthermore didn’t we just do that as kids in mud after a rain?<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/H2Goo-Gelli-Baff-Choice-Colors\/dp\/B004752IXQ\/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1323912407&sr=1-1<\/a><\/div>\n
7.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Uranium Ore \u2013 Don\u2019t foreign governments have difficulty obtaining uranium ore?\u00a0 Apparently you can simply buy radioactive ore right on\u00a0amazon.com<\/a>\u00a0for \u201cscience\u201d experiments and \u201ctesting\u201d your Geiger counter.\u00a0 Right.<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Images-SI-Inc-Uranium-Ore\/dp\/B000796XXM\/ref=pd_sim_sbs_t_3<\/a><\/div>\n
8.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Porky Pooper\u00a0Jelly Bean Dispenser \u2013 Conceptually, I have no problem with animal shaped candy and cookie jars.\u00a0 But does it have to dispense brown jelly beans out the backside?<\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Porky-Pooper-Jelly-Bean-Dispenser\/dp\/B000VOJOM0\/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=industrial&ie=UTF8&qid=1323912569&sr=1-1-catcorr<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some friends in a recent Christmas letter joked about their search for just the right present for their newborn baby. \u00a0After scouring Amazon.com for gift ideas, they came up with a number of questionable gift ideas for young children, the likes of which appear below. \u00a0If you’re still searching for just the right gift, you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":461,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[308,310,274,309],"class_list":["post-918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-amazon-gifts","tag-childrens-toys","tag-christmas","tag-holiday-gifts"],"yoast_head":"\nTop 8 Weirdest Holiday Gifts for Children - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2011\/12\/top-8-weirdest-holiday-gifts-for-children.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Top 8 Weirdest Holiday Gifts for Children - 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