{"id":3130,"date":"2012-11-09T14:22:53","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T14:22:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/?p=3130"},"modified":"2018-07-19T20:13:50","modified_gmt":"2018-07-19T20:13:50","slug":"sermon-on-the-mount-family-planning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/11\/sermon-on-the-mount-family-planning.html","title":{"rendered":"Sermon on the Mount Family Planning"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here at the intersection between life and God, author Sandy Ralya recently wrote a kind response to my original review of her book, <em>The Beautiful Wife<\/em>. \u00a0(Thank you, Sandy!)<\/p>\n<p>Where I question Ralya&#8217;s challenge to Christian couples to have more children in response to the specter of a growing Muslim world, especially for the reason that parenting these days still largely falls on the shoulders of mothers, Ralya writes the following: &#8220;As I instruct my readers in chapter 1 of <em>The Beautiful Wife<\/em>, it&#8217;s critical to approach each chapter discussed with the following guidelines: 1. Turn to God 2. Understand your role 3. Share within a community. As it pertains to our decisions regarding whether or not to limit family size, I encourage women to consult, rather than ignore God as I did, in decisions regarding fruitfulness and multiplication. On the one hand, I can appreciate your reaction when I inserted a reference to a growing Muslim population in connection with God&#8217;s command to be fruitful and multiply. On the other hand, it was a big reaction. When my reaction to someone or something hits a proverbial nerve, I ask myself why and invite God into the conversation. Are you afraid to trust God with this decision?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In reply to Ralya&#8217;s question, I essentially answer, &#8220;Yes, I probably am afraid&#8221;- &#8220;yes,&#8221; that is, if &#8220;being afraid to trust God with a decision about having (more) children&#8221; equates with practicing birth control or committing to a vocation while already rearing two children to the best of my abilities.<\/p>\n<p>The admonition, &#8220;be not afraid&#8221; or &#8220;do not worry,&#8221; happens over and over again in Scripture, with the implication that fear or anxiety do not come from God. \u00a0But the admonition is also not attached to a conversation about family planning! \u00a0In Jesus&#8217; defining manifesto about the kingdom of God- his so-called &#8220;Sermon on the Mount&#8221;- Jesus urges us\u00a0not to worry about what we will eat or drink or wear. He\u00a0<em>could<\/em>\u00a0 have added, &#8220;And don&#8217;t worry about how many children you have,&#8221; or if the condom breaks, or if you miss a day of those little blue pills.<\/p>\n<p>But, seriously, I&#8217;m not sure that <em>all<\/em> fear need be an inherently bad thing. \u00a0Sometimes our fears (insofar as they don&#8217;t overwhelm or paralyze us) can help to inform wise decision-making. \u00a0If I am fearful of walking alone down a poorly lit street at midnight in my neighborhood of downtown Atlanta, that fear should be something I listen to. \u00a0If I am &#8220;afraid&#8221; of bringing a third child into my already chaotic life of mothering two children and shouldering the responsibilities of my vocation, is that &#8220;fear&#8221; really a bad thing insofar as it attunes me to my own limits? \u00a0I don&#8217;t think so.<\/p>\n<p>That said, if by Ralya&#8217;s own logic, fear is inherently a problem, because it can keep us from trusting God with our reproductive decisions, then fear of a world in which Muslims outnumber Christians can also keep us from trusting God- in this case, by having more children.<\/p>\n<p><em>But what do you think here? \u00a0Does Ralya have a point? \u00a0Am I being unreasonable?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here at the intersection between life and God, author Sandy Ralya recently wrote a kind response to my original review of her book, The Beautiful Wife. \u00a0(Thank you, Sandy!) Where I question Ralya&#8217;s challenge to Christian couples to have more children in response to the specter of a growing Muslim world, especially for the reason&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":461,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,43,54,91,5],"tags":[445,1171,1082,1269,1266,1264,1268,1267,1265,1182,1270],"class_list":["post-3130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity-and-culture","category-humor","category-marriage","category-motherhood","category-women","tag-biblical-womanhood","tag-christian-marriage","tag-christian-parenting","tag-christian-muslim-dialogue","tag-christians-and-sex","tag-family-planning","tag-how-to-overcome-fear","tag-listening-to-fears","tag-sermon-on-the-mount","tag-the-beautiful-wife","tag-what-does-the-bible-say-about-fear"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sermon on the Mount Family Planning - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/11\/sermon-on-the-mount-family-planning.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sermon on the Mount Family Planning - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here at the intersection between life and God, author Sandy Ralya recently wrote a kind response to my original review of her book, The Beautiful Wife. \u00a0(Thank you, Sandy!) Where I question Ralya&#8217;s challenge to Christian couples to have more children in response to the specter of a growing Muslim world, especially for the reason&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/11\/sermon-on-the-mount-family-planning.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fellowship of Saints and Sinners\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kristina.robbdover\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-11-09T14:22:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-07-19T20:13:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kristina Robb-Dover\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@saintplussinner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@saintplussinner\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sermon on the Mount Family Planning - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/11\/sermon-on-the-mount-family-planning.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sermon on the Mount Family Planning - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","og_description":"Here at the intersection between life and God, author Sandy Ralya recently wrote a kind response to my original review of her book, The Beautiful Wife. \u00a0(Thank you, Sandy!) 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