{"id":2697,"date":"2012-08-27T10:36:15","date_gmt":"2012-08-27T10:36:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/?p=2697"},"modified":"2018-07-19T20:28:32","modified_gmt":"2018-07-19T20:28:32","slug":"of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html","title":{"rendered":"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fellow saint and sinner Jake Dell preached this sermon yesterday, and has agreed to share it with us. \u00a0(Thank you, Jake!) \u00a0You can find more of Jake’s reflections at his blog<\/a>:<\/em><\/p>\n

How many times have you left someone or something in your life?<\/p>\n

I have left many places and many people.<\/p>\n

Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for not so good reasons.<\/p>\n

I’ve left jobs, family, friends and places that I’d come to love.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I’ve left in a fit of pique.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I found a thing to be “too hard” and so I said, “I cannot\u00a0accept this.”<\/p>\n

And I left.<\/p>\n

In the intervening years, I’ve had time to reflect on my comings and goings.<\/p>\n

I’ve had time to examine my motives.<\/p>\n

I’ve come to recognize the patterns in my life.<\/p>\n

And, with a bit of effort, I’ve tried to to change the patterns that I\u00a0didn’t like, and more importantly, that I didn’t want to see repeated\u00a0over and over again in my life.<\/p>\n

But then I hear these plaintive words of Jesus, “You do not want to\u00a0leave too, do you?”<\/p>\n

And immediately I think of all those whom I’ve left, those to whom I\u00a0didn’t give a second chance, those moments in life that maybe I\u00a0abandoned too soon, without letting things play out all the way.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I’ve learned a thing or two about games recently.<\/p>\n

This summer I signed up for a backgammon tournament.<\/p>\n

Now if you know the game, you’ll follow me right away. If you don’t, I\u00a0promise to make this plain and simple.<\/p>\n

In backgammon, a situation can develop where your own checkers are\u00a0trapped behind a wall of your opponent’s checkers.<\/p>\n

It’s called a prime.<\/p>\n

When this happens, you’re stuck — and no matter how lucky you roll\u00a0your dice — you’ll never get out of the trap you’re in.<\/p>\n

What’s worse is when one of your checkers is stuck on the bar — in\u00a0other words, it’s out of the game — and as long as your opponent has\u00a0the board locked up, you can’t even think about getting back in the
\ngame.<\/p>\n

So you’re sidelined and stuck. And it’s moments like these when you\u00a0think of quitting. When you think of leaving the game.<\/p>\n

But an interesting thing happens if you don’t give up.<\/p>\n

Eventually, your opponent’s board starts to break up.<\/p>\n

Cracks in his wall start to appear.<\/p>\n

And those cracks in your opponent can turn into opportunities for you.<\/p>\n

If you’re lucky, you might find yourself back in the game.<\/p>\n

If you’re lucky and have a bit of skill, you might even win!<\/p>\n

When that happens you look back and think, “I’m glad I didn’t cut and\u00a0run. I’m glad I didn’t leave. I’m glad I stayed in the game.”<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Games are a metaphor for life and many things that you can learn from\u00a0playing a game like backgammon or football also apply to real life.<\/p>\n

Some say dating is a game. Others say relationships in general are a game.<\/p>\n

So, for instance, in the game of dating, if you find that your\u00a0checkers are stuck behind your opponent’s prime, then you should\u00a0absolutely — for the sake of your self-respect — resign the game.<\/p>\n

And here’s something else I’ve been told: if your opponent — be it\u00a0your spouse, your lover, your business partner or your colleague —\u00a0takes power from you, then you better darn well take it back.<\/p>\n

Finally, if you see that you can’t win, then walk away. No one\u00a0particular relationship or person is worth it — and you should never,\u00a0ever sacrifice your pride or position.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

In addition to playing backgammon, I’ve spent some time recently\u00a0discovering the rules of the game of the world — at least as far as\u00a0that game gets played here in the city, day in and day out.<\/p>\n

And, mind you, I really don’t think New York is all that different\u00a0from anywhere else.<\/p>\n

People are people.<\/p>\n

It’s just that I’ve noticed that things cycle faster here. More\u00a0matches are played in the course of a day or week here than anywhere\u00a0else that I’ve lived.<\/p>\n

Here’s what I’ve discovered about how the game of the world is played:<\/p>\n

First, the world is always ready to close a deal. If something — or\u00a0someone — doesn’t provide immediate or discernible value, then you\u00a0should walk away.<\/p>\n

Second, the world is always ready to turn something good — something\u00a0of true value — into a commodity.<\/p>\n

You, as specific person, matter little to me.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

Because by reducing you to your component parts: by reducing you to\u00a0your beauty, to your talent, to your intelligence, your skill set,\u00a0your experience, your social standing, etc., I can find someone else
\njust like you — though I may entirely neglect to see you as you truly\u00a0are.<\/p>\n

Third, the world is always ready to establish power and dominion, and\u00a0to take it back when that power is lost.<\/p>\n

Relationships — even the most intimate — are often evaluated by who\u00a0holds the upper hand. Entire strategies are devised for keeping the\u00a0other party in check or for winning back lost ground.<\/p>\n

Finally, the world is always ready to move in for the kill.<\/p>\n

Only things of immediate use are deemed of value.<\/p>\n

The world is always ready to move on to something bigger and better,\u00a0faster and brighter, or to someone younger and sexier.<\/p>\n

By contrast, how does the Christian fare in this arena?<\/p>\n

How does he or she play? And by what rules?<\/p>\n

Saint Paul tells us in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 15 that our feet are\u00a0to be “fitted with the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace.”<\/p>\n

So, in direct contrast — even in direct contradiction — with the\u00a0world’s gospel of power is the Christian’s gospel of peace.<\/p>\n

From this place of peace, the Christian is not obligated to evaluate\u00a0someone or something based on immediate gain.<\/p>\n

In other words, for the Christian, it is not a question of “What can\u00a0you do for me?” or even of “What have you done for me lately?”<\/p>\n

Instead, the Christian is ready for good things to be given in their due season.<\/p>\n

Ps. 104:27 says that every living creature looks to God and that he\u00a0gives them “their food in due season.”<\/p>\n

The Christian does not parcel and sell a person based on her component\u00a0parts, her looks, her intelligence or her experience.<\/p>\n

The Christian does not walk away from a person or a situation because\u00a0it has yet to pay a dividend, but instead he waits expectantly for the\u00a0fullness of time to arrive — for that person to grow into the full
\nimage of God that she already bears.<\/p>\n

The Christian does not try to hurry things up or to slow things down.<\/p>\n

He does not try to get in the way of a thing as it unfolds.<\/p>\n

Rather, he waits eagerly for the bud to blossom and for its God-given
\npotential to be revealed.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The Christian takes care to understand the signs of the times.<\/p>\n

She understands that there is a time for everything under heaven (Ecc. 3:1-8).<\/p>\n

She understands that a person, a relationship or a situation may need\u00a0gentle and sustained nurturing, and that the time for reaping cannot\u00a0happen before she has invested fully in the time for sowing.<\/p>\n

Finally, the Christian practices patience. This is what Saint Paul\u00a0means when he writes that we must be “fitted with the readiness that\u00a0comes with the gospel of peace.”<\/p>\n

Implied in that readiness is the ability to be patient.<\/p>\n

Patient enough to be discerning.<\/p>\n

Patient enough to allow God time to act.<\/p>\n

Patient enough to let the beloved fall in love with the lover.<\/p>\n

Patient enough to allow enough time to pass so that even the hardest\u00a0of teachings can be understood.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

“‘You do not want to leave me too, do you?’ Jesus asked the twelve.<\/p>\n

“Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the\u00a0words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you\u00a0are the Holy One of God.'”<\/p>\n

Peter does four things in his answer to Jesus.<\/p>\n

In doing so, Peter models four ways that the Christian should play in\u00a0the world’s game.<\/p>\n

These are: understanding, discernment, faith and perseverance.<\/p>\n

First, understanding.<\/p>\n

“Lord, to whom shall we go?”<\/p>\n

Here Peter has understood.<\/p>\n

Jesus has the words of eternal life.<\/p>\n

In other words, Peter rejects the quick close and the immediate gain,\u00a0and opts instead for a long-term strategy of eternal importance.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Second, discernment.<\/p>\n

Again, “You have the words of eternal life.”<\/p>\n

Here Peter chooses.<\/p>\n

Christ cannot be made into a commodity.<\/p>\n

We cannot parcel out his teachings or his miracles;<\/p>\n

We cannot place his humanity or his divinity on a warehouse pallet;<\/p>\n

We cannot reject his crucifixion while rejoicing in his resurrection.<\/p>\n

We cannot replace him with someone else — a newer, younger, sexier,\u00a0less offensive Jesus.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Third, faith.<\/p>\n

“We have come to believe ….”<\/p>\n

Here Peter surrenders his power.<\/p>\n

Here Peter has made his fatal mistake.<\/p>\n

He has fallen in love. He has cared too much for a single man. Jesus\u00a0matters a great deal to Peter — so much so that he can withstand the\u00a0grumbling of the other disciples without being tempted to walk away.<\/p>\n

But at the same time, Peter adopts a position of weakness before the\u00a0one he has come to believe in.<\/p>\n

Peter cannot play power games with the Holy One of God.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Fourth, perseverance.<\/p>\n

Peter decides to stay.<\/p>\n

He does not close in for the kill — as we can assume some of those\u00a0disgruntled disciples immediately left to go and do and conspire\u00a0against Jesus.<\/p>\n

Instead Peter rejects the idea of any immediate gain.<\/p>\n

Instead he chooses to stick it out.<\/p>\n

Jesus has not made it easy for Peter. Jesus has made it hard for them\u00a0both. Jesus has entirely confused the situation and alienated many of\u00a0those who cared about him and undoubtedly who cared about Peter too.<\/p>\n

And yet there is the question again, “Will you leave me too?”<\/p>\n

“No, I will not, Lord,” Peter replies.<\/p>\n

Here we come to face to face with what Saint Paul calls our “readiness\u00a0in the gospel of peace.”<\/p>\n

Or, more simply, our readiness in Christ.<\/p>\n

Peter is ready to understand the hard teachings of Jesus.<\/p>\n

Peter is ready to choose a unique relationship with someone special\u00a0rather than to add another entry to his little black book.<\/p>\n

Peter is ready to surrender his power, though this makes no earthly sense.<\/p>\n

And Peter is ready to stay.<\/p>\n

He is ready to stay and wait patiently for the good season.<\/p>\n

He is ready to stay and wait patiently for the fullness of time.<\/p>\n

He is ready to sow with the hope that he will reap.<\/p>\n

And finally, he is ready to believe that Jesus is the Holy One of God.<\/p>\n

Thus, with his feet firmly fitted with the gospel of peace, he is\u00a0ready to feed on the bread that comes down from heaven.<\/p>\n

Peter is ready for eternity.<\/p>\n

May we also be ready.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fellow saint and sinner Jake Dell preached this sermon yesterday, and has agreed to share it with us. \u00a0(Thank you, Jake!) \u00a0You can find more of Jake’s reflections at his blog: How many times have you left someone or something in your life? I have left many places and many people. Sometimes for good reasons,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":461,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,249,32],"tags":[1016,1015,1021,1019,1020,1017,1018],"class_list":["post-2697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-good-news","category-preaching","category-sanctification","tag-christian-dating","tag-dating","tag-how-do-i-find-peace","tag-jesus-and-peter","tag-patience","tag-rules-of-life","tag-the-game-of-life"],"yoast_head":"\nOf Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Fellow saint and sinner Jake Dell preached this sermon yesterday, and has agreed to share it with us. \u00a0(Thank you, Jake!) \u00a0You can find more of Jake’s reflections at his blog: How many times have you left someone or something in your life? I have left many places and many people. Sometimes for good reasons,…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fellowship of Saints and Sinners\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kristina.robbdover\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-27T10:36:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-07-19T20:28:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kristina Robb-Dover\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@saintplussinner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@saintplussinner\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","og_description":"Fellow saint and sinner Jake Dell preached this sermon yesterday, and has agreed to share it with us. \u00a0(Thank you, Jake!) \u00a0You can find more of Jake’s reflections at his blog: How many times have you left someone or something in your life? I have left many places and many people. Sometimes for good reasons,…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html","og_site_name":"Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kristina.robbdover","article_published_time":"2012-08-27T10:36:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-07-19T20:28:32+00:00","author":"Kristina Robb-Dover","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@saintplussinner","twitter_site":"@saintplussinner","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html","name":"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon - Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-08-27T10:36:15+00:00","dateModified":"2018-07-19T20:28:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/#\/schema\/person\/4c3cdf7104b785db2790c0ea54388e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/2012\/08\/of-dating-backgammon-and-patience-a-sermon.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Of Dating, Backgammon and Patience: A Sermon"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/","name":"Fellowship of Saints and Sinners","description":"Beliefnet Voices...thoughts at the intersection between life and God for anyone converted, unconverted or under conversion","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/#\/schema\/person\/4c3cdf7104b785db2790c0ea54388e75","name":"Kristina Robb-Dover","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/dcf\/dcfc687b5670420584dc52026042422ax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/dcf\/dcfc687b5670420584dc52026042422ax96.jpg","caption":"Kristina Robb-Dover"},"description":"Thoughts at the intersection of life and God from one saint and sinner for anyone \"converted,\" \"unconverted,\" or \"under conversion.\"","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/author\/krobbdover"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/461"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2697"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2697\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6264,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2697\/revisions\/6264"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/fellowshipofsaintsandsinners\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}