{"id":96,"date":"2011-07-25T13:59:35","date_gmt":"2011-07-25T17:59:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/facethepain\/?p=96"},"modified":"2011-07-25T13:59:35","modified_gmt":"2011-07-25T17:59:35","slug":"indicators-not-touchdowns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/facethepain\/2011\/07\/indicators-not-touchdowns.html","title":{"rendered":"Indicators, Not Touchdowns…"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was a little boy one of my favorite things to do was play my Mattel Handheld Football Game.\u00a0 It was a little bigger than an iPhone.\u00a0 It was about 6″ long and 3.5″ wide.\u00a0 William was barely twice that size when he was born.\u00a0 It was all white and had 6 small buttons to play defense, kick, and score touchdowns.\u00a0 The object of the game was to defend and score.\u00a0 I loved it.\u00a0 I’d play it for hours and lose all sense of time.\u00a0 When you scored, a cluster of beeps would play.\u00a0 I’ll never forget the melody.<\/p>\n

As I sat at William’s bedside in the NICU I’d often hear a cluster of beeps.\u00a0 Kinda like my Mattel Handheld.\u00a0 Similar but much different.\u00a0 This was no game.\u00a0 The beeps were indicators, not touchdowns.\u00a0 Indicators of oxygen flowing.\u00a0 Indicators of breathing.\u00a0 Indicators of life.\u00a0 The beeps were constant in the beginning.\u00a0 Intimidating.\u00a0 Overpowering.\u00a0 Annoying!\u00a0 They seemed to play for hours.\u00a0 I’d lose all sense of time.\u00a0 After while, it was just background noise.\u00a0 Until that dreaded squeal!\u00a0 A high pitched sound followed by a really lowww, dull growl.\u00a0 I’ll never forget the melody.<\/p>\n

I loathed that sound!\u00a0 It meant apnea and bradycardia.\u00a0 Apnea meant that William stopped breathing for more than 20 seconds and caused his heart rate to fall under 100 beats per minute, bradycardia.\u00a0 (Sigh.)\u00a0 Normal was 120-160!\u00a0 His immature nervous and muscular system gave him a condition called Apnea of Prematurity.\u00a0 Meaning, at times his brain either failed to tell him to breathe or his immature muscular system wasn’t strong enough to keep his airway open.\u00a0 When William lost his breath, I held mine.\u00a0 When his heart slowed, my heart raced and sank.\u00a0 The 6 small buttons to defend and score were no where in sight.\u00a0 I felt helpless.<\/p>\n

There is scared and there is afraid.\u00a0 I was afraid!\u00a0 Look at William, look at the monitor, look up for a nurse.\u00a0 Look at William, look at the monitor, look up for a nurse.\u00a0 LOOK AT WILLIAM!\u00a0 LOOK AT THE MONITOR!\u00a0 LOOK UP FOR A NURSE!\u00a0 Finally, a nurse!\u00a0 She gets William settled, resets the monitor, “He’s fine,” she says, and walks away.\u00a0 “Phew!”\u00a0 I’d exhale.\u00a0 Kinda like when I was a little boy when I thought I lost my Mattel Handheld.\u00a0 Look in my room, look under my bed, look under the couch.\u00a0 My mother would find it, hand it to me, and walk away.\u00a0 “Phew!”\u00a0 I’d exhale.\u00a0 Similar but much different….<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/dt>\n
My Mattel Handheld Football Game.<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was a little boy one of my favorite things to do was play my Mattel Handheld Football Game.\u00a0 It was a little bigger than an iPhone.\u00a0 It was about 6″ long and 3.5″ wide.\u00a0 William was barely twice that size when he was born.\u00a0 It was all white and had 6 small buttons…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":428,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,7,3,8,22,9,6,23,5],"tags":[12,13,20,21,19,18],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-determination","category-face-the-pain","category-faith","category-fatherhood","category-god","category-hope","category-husband","category-inspiration","tag-cerebral-palsy","tag-conductive-education","tag-micro-preemies","tag-nicu","tag-preemies","tag-special-needs"],"yoast_head":"\nIndicators, Not Touchdowns... - Face the Pain<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/facethepain\/2011\/07\/indicators-not-touchdowns.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Indicators, Not Touchdowns... - 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