Just when I thought there was nothing else the doctor could say to me that would not offend or upset me, he asked, “What do you want to do?” \u00a0To me, that question was cruel on many levels.\u00a0 Maybe it was not the question. Maybe it was how he prefaced it….<\/p>\n
“Sure, your son made it this far and I did not expect him to be here this morning, but now he has a grade IV brain bleed in both sides of his brain.” \u00a0(Grade IV brain bleed is the worst possible….cerebral palsy is certain) The doctor continued on, “On top of this he, is on 3 blood pressure medications, has a collapsed lung, has blood coming out of his stomach, has acid in his blood, has jaundice, and is unable to breathe on his own.\u00a0 Your son is likely to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He will probably be blind, will have to be fed and will not be able to care for himself. That is IF he makes it. \u00a0I have seen a number of these cases. \u00a035% of these babies do not make it.\u00a0 Now we are talking quality of life.\u00a0 Is this the life you want for your son? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?” (He walked out to give us time to think about it)<\/p>\n
This was it. \u00a0This was the day. \u00a0This was THE worst day of my life.\u00a0 That room!\u00a0 I hated that room!\u00a0 That room is where we had the prenatal consult.\u00a0 In the prenatal consult we met to discuss my son’s fate; the doctor, the head nurse, my mom, dad, Lisa, and me.\u00a0 Life changing. \u00a0Not an easy topic. \u00a0In spite of the group setting I had a very lonely feeling. \u00a0There is something about a person wearing a long white (pure white) doctor’s coat with a Dr. So and So monogrammed on their chest.\u00a0 The words that came out of his mouth were real! \u00a0They were scathing.\u00a0 I mean they felt alive. \u00a0Like they had more life in them than William!\u00a0 There was a part of me that thought, “What if he’s right?” \u00a0I actually visualized my son slumped over in a wheelchair, blind while I fed him. Yet, I could not give up on my son. I’m his father. \u00a0I’m his dad. \u00a0I refused!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Just when I thought there was nothing else the doctor could say to me that would not offend or upset me, he asked, “What do you want to do?” \u00a0To me, that question was cruel on many levels.\u00a0 Maybe it was not the question. Maybe it was how he prefaced it…. “Sure, your son made…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":428,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,7,3,8,22,9,6,23,5],"tags":[12,13,20,21,16,19,18],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-determination","category-face-the-pain","category-faith","category-fatherhood","category-god","category-hope","category-husband","category-inspiration","tag-cerebral-palsy","tag-conductive-education","tag-micro-preemies","tag-nicu","tag-occupational-therapy","tag-preemies","tag-special-needs"],"yoast_head":"\n