{"id":1258,"date":"2014-09-24T00:30:22","date_gmt":"2014-09-24T00:30:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayinspiration\/?p=1258"},"modified":"2014-09-24T00:30:22","modified_gmt":"2014-09-24T00:30:22","slug":"8-ways-to-ruin-a-healthy-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayinspiration\/2014\/09\/8-ways-to-ruin-a-healthy-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"8 Ways to Ruin a Healthy Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Healthy-Relationship\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cAssumptions are the termites of relationships.\u201d – Henry Winkler<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Relationships aren\u2019t easy. The good news however is that humans have been messing them up for thousands of years now. And as a result, there\u2019s no shortage of advice on the subject.<\/p>\n

When it comes to a relationship, it\u2019s not always what you do but what you don\u2019t do that counts. Here are eight examples of what not to do if you want to have a healthy relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Expecting Perfection<\/h5>\n

Unless you\u2019re perfect, which you\u2019re not, expecting perfection from either your partner or your relationship is always going to end in tears.<\/p>\n

Humans are inherently flawed. And when two of them become intimately involved, such flaws automatically enter the relationship.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with wanting the best in life. But it\u2019s important to be realistic. And expecting perfect partners or perfect relationships is the opposite of being realistic.<\/p>\n

2. No Alone Time<\/h5>\n

Regardless of how much you love your partner, you need alone time. And if you think you don\u2019t, you can rest assured that your partner disagrees.<\/p>\n

Humans need time alone to process their thoughts. They also need a social life that consists of more than one person.<\/p>\n

When your partner asks you for space or simply wants to socialize without you, don\u2019t take it personally. It\u2019s actually good for your relationship.<\/p>\n

3. Not Thinking<\/h5>\n

In the heat of the moment, it\u2019s very easy to say things that we don\u2019t mean. Unfortunately, it\u2019s a lot harder to take such things back. Words leave a mark, regardless of apologies and apparent acceptances of those apologies.<\/p>\n

While it\u2019s certainly easier said than done, try to think before you say something spiteful. Ask yourself whether or not you really mean what you are about to say. In most cases, you probably don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

4. Attempting to Change Your Partner<\/h5>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with asking your partner to make small changes. If you\u2019re living together, small changes are arguably even necessary.<\/p>\n

Attempting to transform your partner into somebody else however is something completely different. It happens to be one of the fastest ways that you can drive somebody away.<\/p>\n

Relationships require acceptance. If you can\u2019t accept your partner for who he\/she is, chances are you\u2019re not right for each other. <\/p>\n

5. Irrational Jealousy<\/h5>\n

Jealousy is a tricky beast to handle. In small bursts, it\u2019s perfectly normal. In small bursts, it\u2019s even quite flattering. Constant jealousy, paranoia and controlling behavior however, that can spell death for just about any relationship.<\/p>\n

When you find yourself getting jealous, don\u2019t just blurt out accusations. Look at the situation carefully and try to determine whether or not the emotions that you are feeling are logical.<\/p>\n

If they\u2019re not, try to keep them to yourself. If you feel that you have a right to be jealous, on the other hand, broach the subject with your partner in a calm, non-accusatory fashion. <\/p>\n

6. Expecting Too Much, Too Soon<\/h5>\n

We all fall in love at different rates. Just because you\u2019re planning a life together, that doesn\u2019t mean that your partner is. And contrary to popular belief, this isn\u2019t necessarily a bad thing. It might just mean that he\/she isn\u2019t quite there yet.<\/p>\n

Love cannot be rushed. And attempting to do so can kill the spark before it even arrives. Nobody has time to wait forever, but if you\u2019re serious about somebody who isn\u2019t that serious about you, don\u2019t be afraid to be patient.<\/p>\n

7. Keeping Things Bottled Up<\/h5>\n

Arguments aren\u2019t always a bad thing. Humans aren\u2019t perfect and we have a strange habit of irritating each other. Spend enough time in anybody\u2019s company and they are going to make you angry.<\/p>\n

When your partner does something that frustrates you, letting them know is actually very much recommended. The alternative is unspoken resentment. And it\u2019s the latter, not the former, that destroys relationships.<\/p>\n

8. Forgetting About Romance<\/h5>\n

During the early days of a relationship, romance tends to occur organically. After a few years however, most people find that it needs a little artificial encouragement.<\/p>\n

If you notice that the romance is draining from your relationship, make a conscious effort to change this fact. Grand gestures are not required. Even the occasional date or unexpected gift can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, it\u2019s the lack of such simple things that often leads to relationships slowly falling apart.<\/p>\n

About Alex Blackwell<\/a><\/strong>
\nAlex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAssumptions are the termites of relationships.\u201d – Henry Winkler Relationships aren\u2019t easy. The good news however is that humans have been messing them up for thousands of years now. And as a result, there\u2019s no shortage of advice on the subject. When it comes to a relationship, it\u2019s not always what you do but what…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":554,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n8 Ways to Ruin a Healthy Relationship - Everyday Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayinspiration\/2014\/09\/8-ways-to-ruin-a-healthy-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Ways to Ruin a Healthy Relationship - Everyday Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cAssumptions are the termites of relationships.\u201d – Henry Winkler Relationships aren\u2019t easy. 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