A note from Alex: Welcome to the fourth post in the five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage.

The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want – a happy marriage.

1. Communicate
2. Meet each other’s needs
3. Learn to resolve conflicts
4. Grow with each other
5. Maintain a commitment to the marriage

Fourth Secret: Grow with Each Other

It should come as no surprise to learn the person you married won’t be the same person you will still be married to five, 10, 20 years from now.

You will both change over time, particularly at key points in your lives such as starting a family, changing or restarting a career and facing some of life’s most challenging moments, such as the death of loved ones.

There’s no question that life isn’t static, it is very dynamic and ever-changing. Therefore, it’s reasonable to assume we will change and our marriages will change, too.

The Freedom to Grow and Change
Successful couples know that one or both partners will experience a shift in personality at these times. It can feel as if the rules in the relationship have changed; what it means is that you need to change in order to keep up with the changing relationship.

During these times, it is important to anticipate shifts and ride with them. Rather than demanding your partner stays the same forever, you should welcome and understand the natural developments of personality that happen with time.

When things are not growing, they are dying.

This is a natural law of the universe. If you ignore the opportunities for growth in yourself and in your relationship, then you will suffer the consequences. Perhaps the best gift you will ever give your spouse is the space and freedom to grow and change.

Just as it is difficult not to focus on your needs, but on your spouse’s needs you must also have the faith and confidence that if you give your spouse the room to grow, he or she will not grow away from you.

It’s all about risk versus reward.

Meaning, you may fear the risk of giving your partner the opportunity for growth will result in the end of the marriage, but the reward is a happier and more personally fulfilled partner.

Grow and develop with your partner when life provides the opportunity and sometimes demands.

Chances are very good the love and commitment in your marriage will continue to develop and grow too.

Image Source: Google images

About Alex Blackwell
Alex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer.