<\/p>\n
The retreat instructions were clear.<\/p>\n
The priest spoke for thirty minutes, then we\u2019d go into the sanctuary to silently contemplate the discussion questions, and afterwards return to share our answers.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what I did: I placed the unopened booklet of questions on the pew next to me, knelt in prayer, and began a discussion with God on my favorite topic: the job that got away.<\/p>\n
Yes, that<\/em> job.<\/p>\n The one I\u2019ve been writing about since October. The one I discussed with Father Joe in December during confession. Father Joe wondered if I thought God owed me an explanation?<\/p>\n Yes, I did.<\/p>\n Apparently, I still wasn\u2019t satisfied because like a dog with a well-worn bone, I \u2018discussed\u2019 this question with God every time I went to Mass. And then every morning as I did my morning devotions, and every afternoon as I walked my dogs along the snow packed roads of my neighborhood.<\/p>\n To be honest, it was a one-way conversation. To be entirely honest, there wasn\u2019t an opportunity for God to get a word in edgewise.<\/p>\n But on Saturday morning, he did.<\/p>\n As I stated my case ad nauseam, God interrupted and asked, \u201cAre you trying to convince me that I made a mistake?\u201d<\/p>\n Well, yes.<\/p>\n And through my mind flew the words to a familiar verse, \u201cI know that God works all things out for good.\u201d Did I believe that? Or was I certain that this time, I was right and God had missed the mark.<\/p>\n My lack of humility was born out of shame at my own failure. My remedy to tell God that he\u2019d made a mistake, was easier than accepting that he hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n To believe that despite my disappointment, \u2018God would work this out for good\u2019 would require faith, another word for trusting God. Something I\u2019ve failed at too many times to count.<\/p>\n Then I recalled all the times I had prayed desperately for an outcome, and years later with equal fervor, thanked God for saying \u2018no\u2019.<\/p>\n Reflecting on these moments of rare humility, I see an image of myself as a child clinging to the edge of a pool, afraid to let go.<\/p>\n How can I trust God if in the deepest part of my heart, I believe he\u2019s gotten it wrong?<\/p>\n I cling to my need to be right. Because if I stop, I might have to admit that my perspective is smaller than God\u2019s. I might have to trust in God\u2019s greater plan.<\/p>\n Humility is not my strong suit.<\/p>\n Just in case the message didn\u2019t get through that morning, God made sure I was well acquainted with it by the end of the day.<\/p>\n When I knelt in prayer during the second break for contemplation, I looked up at the beautiful Divine Mercy mosaic of Jesus and then my eyes trailed downward and below his feet, at my eye-level were the words, \u201cJesus, I trust in You\u201d.<\/p>\n I sighed.<\/p>\n Later that evening at Mass, Father Jeff gave an encouraging homily about\u2026you guessed it, humility.<\/p>\n Allow me to quote Father Jeff:<\/p>\n \u201cJesus proclaims that it is the \u201cpoor in spirit\u201d and the \u201cmeek\u201d who will inherit the blessings of God\u2019s Kingdom.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy is that so? I think it\u2019s because the humble are the ones who\u2019ve learned to rely completely on God. They trust Him more than they trust themselves, more than wealth and more than earthly power. And, because they rely on Him for everything, they are most open to doing God\u2019s will. I think it\u2019s also because they are not seeking their own glory, so the humble can give glory to God. And I think the meek and humble please God because they think of others first – their needs, their hopes, dreams and desires.<\/p>\n \u201cSaint Paul tells us more about the power of humble men and women. Speaking to the Corinthians, he reminds them that they are not the best and brightest. But, that\u2019s also why God chose them. If He were to choose the best and brightest, the world might think that their success came from their own gifts. But because of their lowly status, it is very clear to everyone, including themselves, that God is the One at work.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd so, if we want God to work through us, we need to learn to be meek and humble ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n This morning at Mass, instead of launching my usual argument, I asked God to help me be open to his perfect will for my life.<\/p>\n To embrace humility is to surrender and trust. This is when God will do his best work in us.<\/p>\n When we let go of the edge of the pool, we discover the ocean. When we let go of our need to define our lives and instead let God, we discover his gorgeous and limitless plan for our lives.<\/p>\n ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The retreat instructions were clear. The priest spoke for thirty minutes, then we\u2019d go into the sanctuary to silently contemplate the discussion questions, and afterwards return to share our answers. Here\u2019s what I did: I placed the unopened booklet of questions on the pew next to me, knelt in prayer, and began a discussion…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":610,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[17,4,3,5,10,16,2,6],"class_list":["post-56","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everyday-faith","tag-bible-reading","tag-everyday-faith","tag-faith","tag-god","tag-jesus","tag-peace","tag-suzanne-elizabeth-anderson","tag-trust"],"yoast_head":"\n