{"id":113,"date":"2009-08-01T10:39:21","date_gmt":"2009-08-01T10:39:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/everydayethics\/2009\/08\/unsolicited-advice-from-a-stranger-creep-or-good-samaritan.html"},"modified":"2009-08-01T10:39:21","modified_gmt":"2009-08-01T10:39:21","slug":"unsolicited-advice-from-a-stranger-creep-or-good-samaritan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/2009\/08\/unsolicited-advice-from-a-stranger-creep-or-good-samaritan.html","title":{"rendered":"Unsolicited Advice from a Stranger: Creep or Good Samaritan?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A friend who tells you you’ve got spinach in your teeth is a friend for life, but then there’s the stranger in line at the grocery store who reaches over and fixes your dangling bra strap (this has happened to me) — he\/she becomes “that creepy stranger” for life. Technically, they’re doing the so-called right thing to do…aren’t they?<\/p>\n

Unsolicited advice from a complete stranger — when is it the right thing to do, and when is it time to mind one’s own beeswax?  A friend wrote me about his recent predicament on the subway<\/a> when he noticed a woman had her fly down. In his own words:<\/p>\n

“Is it appropriate for a strange man to tell a woman that her fly is down…in an earnest effort to spare her greater embarrassment? And now that I’m thinking about it, I wouldn’t say anything to a strange man either!<\/p>\n

But, this woman on the subway looked a little sad – she was overweight and decked out in preppy work clothes and I knew she was trying her best despite likely living a Bridget Jones life.<\/p>\n

I really wanted to show her some consideration, but what if she took it in the wrong way? Also, I contend this is really why more people don’t give pregnant women their seat on the subway.”<\/i><\/p>\n

\"1135743015_2c8e8d06c9_m.jpg\"<\/a><\/span>I have to agree! It’s hard not knowing when sticking your nose in will result in a gushing thank you or a slap to the face. Plus, my poor friend had the added discomfort of having noticed something that was in this woman’s…ahem…private area.<\/p>\n

Still, that discomfort is mostly about us<\/i>, right? Not about what is in that poor, hapless soul’s best interest. So perhaps we should take a lesson from the NYC Transit slogan<\/a>: If you see something, say something.<\/p>\n

Tell me, how do you avoid being the creepy stranger dishing out unsolicited advice? Or do you simply avoid these awkward scenarios by turning your head and praying someone else (perhaps a friend) will step in to rectify the situation?
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A friend who tells you you’ve got spinach in your teeth is a friend for life, but then there’s the stranger in line at the grocery store who reaches over and fixes your dangling bra strap (this has happened to me) — he\/she becomes “that creepy stranger” for life. 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In addition to writing for a various print and online publications, such as Parenting Magazine and iVillage, she was the Website Manager for the Henry Street Settlement, a social services and arts organization serving Manhattan's Lower East Side. Most recently, she worked on the Thai-Myanmar border as a writer for the Burma Human Rights Yearbook. Her curiosity about human nature, coupled with duel streaks of idealism and Midwestern pragmatism, developed into an ongoing discussion with friends, family and strangers on ethical quandaries. When she's not asking \"Why?\" you might have trouble finding her, as her hobbies include nosing around used bookstores, exploring the world (near and far), meeting new people and occasionally twiddling her thumbs while daydreaming.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/author\/pmangunta"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/198"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/everydayethics\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}