{"id":599,"date":"2010-06-04T13:29:20","date_gmt":"2010-06-04T13:29:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/drnorrischumleysatisfiedlife\/2010\/06\/how-to-give-care-and-love-to-a.html"},"modified":"2010-06-04T13:29:20","modified_gmt":"2010-06-04T13:29:20","slug":"how-to-give-care-and-love-to-a","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/drnorrischumleysatisfiedlife\/2010\/06\/how-to-give-care-and-love-to-a.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Give Care and Love to a Compulsive Overeater"},"content":{"rendered":"
Overeating is a complicated, sensitive subject.  When it gets into the realm of eating disorders such as compulsive overeating, it’s especially difficult and urgent.<\/div>\n
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I wrote the other day about a guest of ours who has some challenges in these areas, as I once did, and do. (original post here)<\/a>  As I read every comment that everyone writes, I see that I have touched a nerve.  Many readers have asked questions of me, with “strong opinions” (!) behind them.  While I don’t feel any need to defend what I wrote, I do want to address some concerns and also offer suggestions in the process.<\/div>\n
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Some readers were upset that I had “outed” an overeating guest, and should have confronted them, or tried to help them.  Let me assure you that’s not the case here.  I’ve shared my empathic concerns with this person many times; they have made some changes in their lifestyles, but are still struggling.  No, they don’t read my column, and I’m sure of that.  Even if they did, it wouldn’t be a problem as they know what I write about, because I talk about my subject matter with them fairly often. I didn’t mention them by name, or give any identifying details, as a few readers noted.  My guest knows that I often write about everyone in my life.  It’s actually not the first time I’ve written anonymously about them, and they’re aware of that.<\/div>\n
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Some commentators wrote that I should have helped them, and I agree.  Let me assure you that I already have and do offer help.  They’re not so interested.  I am helping them already by modeling better eating habits, and having better, healthier food around.  At least they binged on cereal that had no added sugar (surprise!) and low-fat cheese!  As I mentioned above, we’ve had many conversations about how I was once eating compulsively, and binged often, and what I did about it.  But – and this is a major point – I cannot make them change, nor can anyone.  Change must come from the person seeing that there is a problem, recognizing the need to get help, and getting it.  I love it that this cherished guest will often go on vigorous walks, and once in awhile go to the gym with me.  Ultimately, my friend is aware of their problem, but chooses to not fully deal with it yet. I hold them in prayer regularly, and continue to be there when they are ready.  They’re kind of tired of me talking about compulsive overeating, to tell you the truth.<\/div>\n
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Your points about eating disorders and specifically compulsive overeating being problems that require outside help are so correct.  I know firsthand from my own experience, and now having worked with many, many clients over the last decade that no amount of will-power, nor self-help methods really work, or are lasting.  The only intervention that does help is a combination of professional listening and reflection of the person’s problems offering a process of self-revelation, nutritionally sound and structured eating plans, encouragement for daily physical activity, emotional understanding and nurturing and most of all – daily spiritual practices.<\/div>\n
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I wholeheartedly agree with several reader’s comments that what I wrote was actually about myself, and how the compulsive overeating guest reminded me of myself. That’s true.  Actually, I was much worse.  I was eating far more than they did, and making efforts to hide my food addictions, which they did not do.  Absolutely it rings a bell with me.  My recovery by the grace of God is long lasting so far, but it is a day-by-day grace, which requires great conscious effort.  I could slip and get into my old addiction any second, so I have got to “keep it fresh” as some say in 12-Step programs.<\/div>\n
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Why did I write it?  Honestly, I wrote it to “keep it fresh” with me, and to hopefully ring some bells in you, dear faithful reader.  Was it a bit harsh?  Perhaps, but I’m not fully convinced it was as harsh as some of the comments.  Did it work?  Yes it did.  That article has received some of the highest traffic and number of comments ever.  There’s a giant chorus of bells ringing from it.<\/div>\n
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Rest assured, I am always careful what I write.  I give this daily blog\/column much time and thought.  I am a very sensitive and highly compassionate person, as those who read me daily know. Yet, I’m the first to admit my mistakes, which are often numerous.  I’m not at all perfect.  If I hurt your feelings and offended you, please accept my apology; that was not my intention.  If I pointed out something familiar and painful in your life, please keep coming back to this column daily, and you’ll continue to receive my very best efforts to genuinely and truthfully be of assistance.  I encourage you to tell others by posting comments about your problems, struggles, hopeful efforts, failures, compulsive overeating, spiritual practices, emotions – right here.  You can share anonymously. <\/div>\n
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Thank you for reading.  Thank you for commenting.  Thank you, God, for this wonderful online community, a place where we can be 100% real.<\/div>\n
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Oh, and one more thing:  those links or ads that pop-up with specific words that show food or whatever products… I have nothing to do with them.  I find them at best annoying, and at worst offensive to people who read my column who struggle with food addictions.  I’ve registered my requests to have them removed to the powers that be, but so far, I cannot do anything to get them removed. I chalk it up to a way for Beliefnet to offer what I write at no charge to you, dear reader.<\/div>\n
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– – – – – <\/div>\n
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Oh, and a second thing…. have you joined us on our journey to revisit the ancient lands where Christianity began?  Please become a registered member at www.MysteriesoftheJesusPrayer.com<\/a>, and be among the first to see my feature film and book when they are released early next year.  We’re starting a regular newsletter with lots of free ancient prayers, meditations, chants, games and scenes from the movie — don’t miss it please!  I’d love to have you with us for the journey.<\/div>\n
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Overeating is a complicated, sensitive subject.  When it gets into the realm of eating disorders such as compulsive overeating, it’s especially difficult and urgent. I wrote the other day about a guest of ours who has some challenges in these areas, as I once did, and do. (original post here)  As I read every comment…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":171,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,18,3,24,10,21,12,8,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diet","category-food","category-health","category-inspiration","category-lifestyles","category-spiritual-weight-loss","category-spirituality","category-weight-loss","category-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Give Care and Love to a Compulsive Overeater - Dr. Norris J. 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