{"id":153,"date":"2009-03-30T10:40:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-30T10:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/drnorrischumleysatisfiedlife\/2009\/03\/how-to-relieve-relationships-l.html"},"modified":"2009-03-30T10:40:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-30T10:40:00","slug":"how-to-relieve-relationships-l","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/drnorrischumleysatisfiedlife\/2009\/03\/how-to-relieve-relationships-l.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Relieve Relationships, Loneliness, and Health Problems: Comments this Week"},"content":{"rendered":"

Please add your thoughts and feel free to confide your problems in last week’s posting, “Confidentially Relived,”<\/a>  I really appreciate what you wrote.  We are all in this life together, and the Internet is a great way for us to get to know one another.  This week brought a lot of us to begin talking about relationships, whether positive or not, or feeling lonely, or in very difficult situations having to do with finances and health problems.<\/p>\n

Do you have similar problems with relationships, finances, and health?  You are not alone.  We all do to varying degrees.<\/p>\n

Bree wrote about feeling lonely, “I’ve been crying most of the morning (honestly for no reason in particular) praying for God to send me someone to talk to.”  This was a feeling that many of us shared this past week.  Some of us are in challenging or abusive relationships, divorced, seeking someone but encountering commitment problems, or just lonely and don’t know what to do.<\/p>\n

Dory Ann offered a solution, “I would encourage people to try to find a church to get involved in, where they can meet other believers and get involved in ministries where they can get the help they need. God doesn’t want us to go through things all alone…he wants our ‘brothers and sisters’ in Christ to be there for us.”  I think that’s a great idea – pray to God for help, but also take action by putting yourself in places and with people so you can make some connections, like a church or house of worship.  You might also consider recreation classes, or affinity groups, such as a book club or place to volunteer.<\/p>\n

If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage, that’s another matter: I encourage you to seek assistance from a professional marriage counselor, Twelve-Step program or crisis intervention center (such as at a hospital, or clinic). Bev suggested one,  “Please get to some Alanon meetings (friends & family of alcoholics) and\/or minister or professional counselor… Alanon can help provide strategies for protecting (your)self from other hurts and disappointments.”  There’s no down-side to seeking help, only positive outcomes – ways at making changes for the better that you may not be aware of of don’t have the personal strength to do alone right now.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, you are in an impossible situation that feels at times like it’s hurtful, and other times helpful, such as what an anonymous reader confided in us: Your Name:  “I am in love with an abusive man. He never physically abused me, but calls me names and curses at me for no reason. Last week we had a huge fight, and I finally spoke back to him in an aggressive manner, so now he is no longer speaking to me. I know it is completely irrational but sometimes I wish he would call me and yell at me or insult me.”  That sounds like a ‘no-win’ cycle that will probably get worse, as it’s a repeat of what was familiar from the past, even from childhood.  There’s hope, though, in counseling and learning what each other really need.  There’s hope, too, in your faith – try to find and rekindle that faith between yourself, your partner and God. <\/p>\n

Whenever I have problems that seem insurmountable I always start with prayer and meditation.  Anna shared that sentiment, writing, “Sometimes when I feel like giving up, a voice speaks to me and says: Lo, I am with you always, even till the ends of the world.”  I know that God is with me always; it’s just me who forgot.<\/p>\n

Kathy, like many of us, wrote of health challenges, “I am trying to lose weight that has eluded me for many years and it seems to be a battle I cannot win. My children are all grown and I am divorced for many years and I am living on a fixed income dealing with many health issues. I am only 58 years old and I feel as if every day will be my last.”  Kathy, you may feel completely discouraged and at the end of your rope, but trust me, there is hope, and you are important  — it sounds like you’re just going through a hard time.  Please seek a minister or counselor now, and be sure to get out of the house on a regular basis – when you are feeling better, perhaps you could help others by listening to them, say, at a hospital or in a program where you can befriend an orphan or troubled child.  This will help you feel better by helping others feel better.<\/p>\n

I wish I could answer each person who wrote; I’ve tried to speak to the main points that you made.  Know one thing for sure, God is with us, and will never let us down.  I am certain that we have problems so that we will seek God’s help.  All we need to do is ask, and keep 100% faith, and things will definitely change for the better – in ways that will surprise and spiritually educate us in ways we could never do alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please add your thoughts and feel free to confide your problems in last week’s posting, “Confidentially Relived,”  I really appreciate what you wrote.  We are all in this life together, and the Internet is a great way for us to get to know one another.  This week brought a lot of us to begin talking…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":171,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,3,14,5,13,17,12,8,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-health","category-love","category-prayers","category-relationships","category-religion","category-spirituality","category-weight-loss","category-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Relieve Relationships, Loneliness, and Health Problems: Comments this Week - Dr. Norris J. 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