{"id":6394,"date":"2019-12-12T20:11:49","date_gmt":"2019-12-13T01:11:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/?p=6394"},"modified":"2019-12-17T20:15:45","modified_gmt":"2019-12-18T01:15:45","slug":"talking-to-your-parents-about-needing-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/2019\/12\/talking-to-your-parents-about-needing-care.html","title":{"rendered":"Talking to your Parents About Needing Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acknowledging that your parent might need some help with day-to-day activities is a burden few of us are ever prepared for. Talking to your parents about introducing them to a professional caregiver isn\u2019t the easiest thing in the world either.<\/span><\/p>\n

They are likely to put up fierce resistance because they perceive it as an attack on their independence. Approaching this subject requires you to be both patient and tactful. It\u2019s a conversation that has to be had because ignoring it just makes things worse in the long run, especially because it puts them at a very high risk of injury.<\/span><\/p>\n

List out the advantages of having a caregiver<\/b><\/p>\n

Inform your parents about all the advantages of having a caregiver. A common misconception they will likely harbor is the total loss of independence. Explain to them that care is only provided when needed and the caregiver will not interfere with their quality of life otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

If they are still resistant to the idea, float the possibility of in-home care. It\u2019s often cheaper and allows them more freedom. This strategy is especially effective if both of your parents still live together.<\/span><\/p>\n

Have a heart-to-heart<\/b><\/p>\n

While your parents are the central focus of the story, don\u2019t forget to mention all the ways of not having someone to take care of them affect you. If you\u2019re the primary caregiver, explain how much burden parenthood on top of caregiving takes a toll on you. This is usually the biggest concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

It does still help to make them the focus of the story in this conversation, however. Explain how much you worry about their health and safety and how important it is for them to take their medicine, for example.<\/span><\/p>\n

Give them options<\/b><\/p>\n

While budgets may be limited, one piece of advice professionals from <\/span>Tandem Careplanning<\/span><\/a> stress on is giving your parents options. Rather than shoving a home care provider in their face and trying to talk them into it, make them comfortable with the decision then bring in the new homes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Turn the search into a collaborative effort rather than a one-sided decision to reduce their resistance to the idea. It\u2019s the first step towards giving them a measure of control in the matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Get professional advice<\/b><\/p>\n

Discuss the situation with your parents\u2019 doctor or primary care physician. Since he\/she is likely someone they know and trust, they will likely share your concern and give you advice on how to approach the matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are completely unable to talk about the matter, they may even be willing to step in and assist you further. If you don\u2019t have a family doctor, talk to a <\/span>geriatric care<\/span><\/a> manager. These are professionals tasked at assessing the situation and providing even more nuanced pieces of advice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mitigate the most common fears<\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s common for elderly people to <\/span>act hostile<\/span><\/a> towards caregivers, but it\u2019s a natural instinct present in most of us. Common fears include the loss of independence, loss of dignity and loss of control.<\/span><\/p>\n

Considering they are in a vulnerable position and their primary caregiver is an outsider they have likely never met, their fear is understandable. It\u2019s important to mitigate these fears before settling on a care provider.<\/span><\/p>\n

Run a short trial<\/b><\/p>\n

Once you have both reached a decision, try hiring a caregiver for a short period before going full-time. This strategy is more efficient in case they are recovering from a tragedy such as a fall or something similar. It serves as a way of demonstrating the presence of a caregiver won\u2019t curtail their freedom or address whatever other fears they may have.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acknowledging that your parent might need some help with day-to-day activities is a burden few of us are ever prepared for. Talking to your parents about introducing them to a professional caregiver isn\u2019t the easiest thing in the world either. They are likely to put up fierce resistance because they perceive it as an attack…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":224,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-childrens-dreams"],"yoast_head":"\nTalking to your Parents About Needing Care - Dream Gates<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Talking to your Parents About Needing Care - Dream Gates\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Acknowledging that your parent might need some help with day-to-day activities is a burden few of us are ever prepared for. 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He is the creator of Active Dreaming, an original synthesis of dreamwork and shamanism. Born in Australia, he survived three near-death experiences in childhood. He leads popular seminars all over the world, including a three-year training for teachers of Active Dreaming. A former lecturer in ancient history at the Australian National University, he is a best-selling novelist, journalist and independent scholar. His nine books on dreaming, shamanism and imagination include Conscious Dreaming, Dreamways of the Iroquois, The Dreamer's Book of the Dead, The Three \"\"Only\"\" Things, The Secret History of Dreaming, Dreamgates, Active Dreaming and Dreaming the Soul Back Home: Shamanic Dreaming for Healing and Becoming Whole. His most recent book is The Boy Who Died and Came Back: Adventures of a Dream Archaeologist in the Multiverse. Over the past 20 years, he has led seminars at the Esalen Institute, Kripalu, the Omega Institute, the New York Open Center, Bastyr University, John F. Kennedy University, Meriter Hospital, and many other centers and institutions. He has taught depth workshops in Active Dreaming in the UK, Australia, Canada, Costa Rica, France, the Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Romania, Brazil and Austria and leads a three-year training for teachers of Active Dreaming. He hosts the \"\"Way of the Dreamer\"\" radio show at www.healthylife.net. He has appeared on many TV and radio shows, ranging from Charlie Rose and the Today show to Coast to Coast and the Diane Rehm show on NPR. His articles on dreaming have been published in media ranging from Parade to Shaman's Drum.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.mossdreams.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/author\/rmoss"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/224"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6394"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6397,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6394\/revisions\/6397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/dreamgates\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}