{"id":9936,"date":"2018-03-05T06:00:11","date_gmt":"2018-03-05T11:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=9936"},"modified":"2018-03-04T09:09:33","modified_gmt":"2018-03-04T14:09:33","slug":"porn-distorts-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html","title":{"rendered":"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-9979\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg\" alt=\"fatigued-1822678_1280\" width=\"300\" height=\"198\" \/>Most parents don&#8217;t think their kids are watching porn. However, a 2016 Indiana University study did a preliminary analysis of data of\u00a0more than 600 pairs of children and their parents. The results indicated that parents are naive when it comes to porn viewing by their children. Their kids have seen\u00a0porn more than they thought. \u00a0It is clear that by the time kids enter college, they have been exposed to porn multiple times.<\/p>\n<p>Porn is not relegated to Internet sites alone. Kids hear\u00a0it in music all the time. Rihanna&#8217;s song &#8220;S&amp;M&#8221; includes the lyrics that &#8220;chains and whips excite her&#8221; and promotes\u00a0rough sex. \u00a0Books and movies like &#8220;Fifty Shades of Grey&#8221; also promote aggression and S&amp;M. Saturating kids with images and music related to rough sex practices and porn has been shown to lead to some kids to engage in sex earlier than those not exposed and create intimacy problems in later relationships. Watching and listening to porn is not benign.<\/p>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Several studies that have concluded the following and can be used as talking points with your children: Porn &#8230;.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u00a0makes the idea of multiple\u00a0partners and cheating more appealing.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u00a0creates unrealistic expectations.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">can be habit-forming. People who view porn often have trouble stopping. While the debate rages as to the whether porn viewing is a true addiction, many people feel they can&#8217;t stop once they start viewing.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">is\u00a0discovered and \u00a0partners feel betrayed, fearful and anxious.\u00a0Porn erodes trust, a foundation of healthy relationships.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">disrupts emotional intimacy which impacts the\u00a0sexual relationship in important ways.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">teaches people to objectify others.<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">can change and rewire your brain and affect your sexual tastes<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">can be related to problems with arousal, attraction, and sexual performance.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>On the other hand,<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Porn free relationships are more committed as you are not always thinking about\u00a0other sexual\u00a0possibilities. Those who didn&#8217;t view porn had lower levels of negative communication, were more committed to their relationships and more satisfied sexually, and better adjusted in their relationships<\/li>\n<li class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Porn free relationships are stronger. Those who \u00a0never viewed porn\u00a0had\u00a0lower rates of infidelity.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you know anyone with a porn problem, you don&#8217;t need studies to tell you the damage that porn can do to a relationship. The message here is that your kids have mostly likely been exposed to porn, so talk to them about the impact this can have. Discuss music lyrics and movies that distort healthy relationships. Review\u00a0the evidence regarding\u00a0the destructive nature of porn on their brains and how porn viewing\u00a0will impact future intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Sources:<\/p>\n<p>Maddox, Amanda, Galena K, Rhoades, and Howard J.Markman,\u201d Viewing Sexually-Explicit Materials Alone and Together: Associations with Relationship Quality,\u201d <em>Archives of Sexual Behavior<\/em> (April 2011), 40, no. 2, 441-448.<\/p>\n<p>Lambert, Nathaniel M. and Sesen Negash, Tyler F.Stillman, Spencer B. Olmstead, and Frank M. Fincham, \u201cA Love That Doesn\u2019t Last: Pornography Consumption and Weakened Commitment to One\u2019s Romantic Partner,\u201d <em>Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology<\/em>(2012), vol.31, no.4, 410-438.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most parents don&#8217;t think their kids are watching porn. However, a 2016 Indiana University study did a preliminary analysis of data of\u00a0more than 600 pairs of children and their parents. The results indicated that parents are naive when it comes to porn viewing by their children. Their kids have seen\u00a0porn more than they thought. \u00a0It&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[4161,4163,262,4162],"class_list":["post-9936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-porn-and-healthy-relationships","tag-porn-exposure","tag-pornography","tag-talking-to-kids-about-porn"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Most parents don&#8217;t think their kids are watching porn. However, a 2016 Indiana University study did a preliminary analysis of data of\u00a0more than 600 pairs of children and their parents. The results indicated that parents are naive when it comes to porn viewing by their children. Their kids have seen\u00a0porn more than they thought. \u00a0It&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-03-05T11:00:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-03-04T14:09:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships","og_description":"Most parents don&#8217;t think their kids are watching porn. However, a 2016 Indiana University study did a preliminary analysis of data of\u00a0more than 600 pairs of children and their parents. The results indicated that parents are naive when it comes to porn viewing by their children. Their kids have seen\u00a0porn more than they thought. \u00a0It&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2018-03-05T11:00:11+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-03-04T14:09:33+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html","name":"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg","datePublished":"2018-03-05T11:00:11+00:00","dateModified":"2018-03-04T14:09:33+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/03\/fatigued-1822678_1280-300x198.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/03\/porn-distorts-relationships.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Talking to Teens Re Porn and Relationships"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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