{"id":9398,"date":"2017-07-07T06:00:19","date_gmt":"2017-07-07T10:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=9398"},"modified":"2017-07-04T09:27:19","modified_gmt":"2017-07-04T13:27:19","slug":"said-said-saying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html","title":{"rendered":"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-9399\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"gossip-475029_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Two employees worked for a small town in New Hampshire for a total of 46 years between them. They heard and spread a rumor about an improper relationship between a town administrator and another employee. The story turned out to be false and the administrator complained. The town council investigated the administrator\u2019s complaint and fired the women for gossiping saying, &#8220;Gossip, whispering, and an unfriendly environment are causing poor morale and interfering with the efficient performance of town business.&#8221; The women were shocked and one remarked that they simply discussed the matter at lunch and dropped it. She couldn\u2019t believe they were fired over gossip.<\/p>\n<p>It is hard to believe, but certainly sends a message\u2014gossip is destructive and won\u2019t be allowed. How many of us would lose our jobs based on this standard? And gossip is a problem in the church that we don\u2019t like to talk about. We might think \u2013we aren\u2019t gossiping, we are just venting or sharing our concerns.<\/p>\n<p>Gossip is like a secret craving. You might not like it, but when you hear or are a part of it, you do not want to stop. In fact, Proverbs 18:8 says, \u201cThe words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man\u2019s inmost parts.\u201d Those choice morsels sell magazines and provide entertainment to many, but often at the expense of someone\u2019s well-being.<\/p>\n<p>You probably remember the old saying: \u201cIf you can\u2019t say something good about others, don\u2019t say anything at all.\u201d Proverbs 20:19 supports this. \u201cA gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.\u201d When it comes to gossip, the biblical instruction is simply to stop and not associate with those who are gossiping. If you pass on the gossip, there is nowhere for it to go.\u00a0Wise advice if you wish to avoid sin.<\/p>\n<p>Gossip is not helpful. It destroys trust. It ruins our credibility. It is nearly always one-sided. And it is often distorted. \u00a0So here is our charge: Ephesians 4:29 \u2013 \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d If we could follow this instruction, gossip would disappear.<\/p>\n<p>And here is a good test. Imagine the person you are talking about is standing next to you. Would you say the same words? If not, don\u2019t say it. Think, are you about to gossip? Then ask God to let the words of our mouth and the mediations of our heart be acceptable to Him. If we pray that Scripture, he will make us more aware of our words and heart condition. Finally, \u00a0confess our negative words and thank God for His grace and mercy and the power of the Holy Spirit to help with self-control.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two employees worked for a small town in New Hampshire for a total of 46 years between them. They heard and spread a rumor about an improper relationship between a town administrator and another employee. The story turned out to be false and the administrator complained. The town council investigated the administrator\u2019s complaint and fired&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914,917],"tags":[3843,3845,2493,3844],"class_list":["post-9398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-gossip","tag-rumors","tag-secrets","tag-slander"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Two employees worked for a small town in New Hampshire for a total of 46 years between them. They heard and spread a rumor about an improper relationship between a town administrator and another employee. The story turned out to be false and the administrator complained. The town council investigated the administrator\u2019s complaint and fired&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-07T10:00:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-07-04T13:27:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?","og_description":"Two employees worked for a small town in New Hampshire for a total of 46 years between them. They heard and spread a rumor about an improper relationship between a town administrator and another employee. The story turned out to be false and the administrator complained. The town council investigated the administrator\u2019s complaint and fired&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2017-07-07T10:00:19+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-07-04T13:27:19+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html","name":"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg","datePublished":"2017-07-07T10:00:19+00:00","dateModified":"2017-07-04T13:27:19+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/07\/gossip-475029_1920-300x200.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/07\/said-said-saying.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"He Said, She Said, But Should We Be Saying?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9398"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9401,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9398\/revisions\/9401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}