{"id":9109,"date":"2017-04-18T05:00:40","date_gmt":"2017-04-18T09:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=9109"},"modified":"2017-04-17T09:18:09","modified_gmt":"2017-04-17T13:18:09","slug":"handling-pain-suffering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/04\/handling-pain-suffering.html","title":{"rendered":"Handling the Pain of Suffering"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-9147\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2017\/04\/sad-659422_1920-300x196.jpg\" alt=\"sad-659422_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"196\" \/>No one likes to be out of control and feel vulnerable. In a moment, our lives can be changed through no action of our own. Things happen.<\/p>\n<p>Most of us have personal stories of loss and suffering. They may involve a stepfather who was sexually abusive; a mom who died from breast cancer; parents who divorced; a father jailed on drug charges; a depressed mother unable to care for her children; abandonment; chronic illness; rape; or domestic violence. Loss, suffering and trauma occur daily in our fallen world-not something we want to think about.<\/p>\n<p>But suffering is a universal experience. Jesus wept when His friend Lazaras died. Jesus too suffered pain that led to death. We don\u2019t know why good people suffer, we simply know how to respond to suffering and what God has to say about it. In order to cope with loss and trauma we need to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Grieve and mourn<\/strong>. Confronting the intense array of emotions that accompanies grief is not easy, but God&#8217;s promise is that we will be comforted (Matthew 5:4). The feelings of shock, anger, depression, bargaining must be experienced rather than avoided. Ask God to give you the grace to work through these emotions. Joy will come in the morning.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Share your loss<\/strong>. Grief must be shared. Healing often comes in telling the story. Jesus wept with his friends Mary and Martha over the loss of their brother.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Accept support<\/strong>. You need the support of family and friends. Don&#8217;t isolate yourself. Allow other people to serve you in your time of need.<\/li>\n<li><strong>If the loss or suffering involves forgiveness, do it<\/strong>. Don&#8217;t get stuck in grief because of unforgiveness. Eventually, bitterness will develop. Forgiveness is necessary to heal. Give it to those who have hurt you even if they don&#8217;t deserve it. Remember God forgives you when you don&#8217;t deserve it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Read scriptures on suffering and loss<\/strong>. To quote Twila Paris and her powerful song, &#8220;God is in control&#8221;. Nothing happens away from His watchful eye. When you are His, there are several reassuring promises. He&#8217;ll walk with you through the valleys and He promises His presence.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&#8211;We are troubled, perplexed, persecuted but not destroyed (2Corinthians 4:8-9).<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;The righteous have many afflictions but the Lord delivers us from them all (Psalm 34:19)<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;Count it all joy because it is the trying of your faith and will bring patience (James 1:2-4)<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;All things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;Sorrow and mourning will disappear and be replaced with gladness and joy (Isaiah 51:11).<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;Rest will come when we give the burden to the Lord (Matthew 11:28-30).<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No one likes to be out of control and feel vulnerable. In a moment, our lives can be changed through no action of our own. Things happen. Most of us have personal stories of loss and suffering. They may involve a stepfather who was sexually abusive; a mom who died from breast cancer; parents who&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[916],"tags":[2081,210,1173,3270,297],"class_list":["post-9109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-god-relationship","tag-emotional-pain","tag-loss","tag-pain","tag-suffering","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Handling the Pain of Suffering<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/04\/handling-pain-suffering.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Handling the Pain of Suffering\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No one likes to be out of control and feel vulnerable. In a moment, our lives can be changed through no action of our own. Things happen. Most of us have personal stories of loss and suffering. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9109"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9148,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9109\/revisions\/9148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}