{"id":9050,"date":"2017-03-16T06:00:11","date_gmt":"2017-03-16T10:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=9050"},"modified":"2017-03-13T09:54:43","modified_gmt":"2017-03-13T13:54:43","slug":"can-tell-perfectionist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/can-tell-perfectionist.html","title":{"rendered":"Can You Tell if You Are a Perfectionist?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-9056\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2017\/03\/accuracy-1869485_1920-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"accuracy-1869485_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/>&#8220;I can&#8217;t stand it when I make a mistake.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Ahhh&#8230;the words of a perfectionist. How do you know if you are one? Well, check yourself against this list.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>If you believe there is no room for mistakes, time to check that thinking and stop worrying about failure. In fact, purposely make a mistake and allow yourself to sit with it. See if you can tolerate that feeling. If not, you are probably a perfectionist.<\/li>\n<li>You think there is only one way to do something. So when others don&#8217;t approach things the same way, you easily become\u00a0frustrated. Relax, or people won&#8217;t want to work with you. Let others do it their way. See if you can learn from them rather than focusing on your way!<\/li>\n<li>You think in all or nothing terms. There are no in-betweens, yet this is not real life. Better to lose the all or nothing approach to life and start seeing the gray in all your black and white thinking. Otherwise, you become rigid and inflexible- a mark of perfectionists.<\/li>\n<li>You beat yourself up when you don&#8217;t perform exactly the way you think you should have&#8230;well, time to be nicer to yourself and learn to walk in grace. We can&#8217;t be perfect all the time. Let&#8217;s leave that record to Jesus! This is a set up to feel depressed and discouraged.<\/li>\n<li>When you don&#8217;t meet your goals, you get depressed. Part of the problem is that you set your goals too high. Perfectionists have to be the best, do the excellent work and have trouble tolerating mediocre. Now, don&#8217;t settle because you don&#8217;t try, but set realistic goals.<\/li>\n<li>Even when you accomplish something, you think, &#8220;There is always more I could do.&#8221; Contentment is hard to find if you constantly push to do more. Yes, you could always do more but at what cost to your rest and peace? Learn to enjoy the moment.<\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t think your results will be excellent, you procrastinate. &#8220;Ready&#8221; may never come because you try to anticipate the exact right moment to do something. Just start and see where it goes. There is never a perfect time to being that project. Don&#8217;t procrastinate because of uncertainty.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I can&#8217;t stand it when I make a mistake.&#8221; Ahhh&#8230;the words of a perfectionist. How do you know if you are one? Well, check yourself against this list. If you believe there is no room for mistakes, time to check that thinking and stop worrying about failure. In fact, purposely make a mistake and allow&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917],"tags":[2559,3748,3579,3749],"class_list":["post-9050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-obsessing","tag-perfect","tag-perfectionism","tag-procrastinating"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can You Tell if You Are a Perfectionist?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/can-tell-perfectionist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can You Tell if You Are a Perfectionist?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;I can&#8217;t stand it when I make a mistake.&#8221; Ahhh&#8230;the words of a perfectionist. How do you know if you are one? Well, check yourself against this list. If you believe there is no room for mistakes, time to check that thinking and stop worrying about failure. In fact, purposely make a mistake and allow&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/can-tell-perfectionist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-03-16T10:00:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-03-13T13:54:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/accuracy-1869485_1920-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Can You Tell if You Are a Perfectionist?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/can-tell-perfectionist.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Can You Tell if You Are a Perfectionist?","og_description":"&#8220;I can&#8217;t stand it when I make a mistake.&#8221; Ahhh&#8230;the words of a perfectionist. 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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