{"id":9036,"date":"2017-03-10T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2017-03-10T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=9036"},"modified":"2017-03-04T10:18:47","modified_gmt":"2017-03-04T15:18:47","slug":"handle-paranoid-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Handle a Paranoid Person"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-9039\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"hand-1832921_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Relationships can be difficult. Some people are difficult because they are constantly suspicious and mistrust others. Every little thing that is said or done is more evidence for why they need to be paranoid or suspicious.<\/p>\n<p>Usually people with paranoia have difficulty being intimate in relationships and stay emotionally detached. They have enemies, mainly because they are paranoid. Their unfounded suspicions lead them to be unpleasant, blaming, hostile, defensive, stubborn. They may see an injustice and make it huge.<\/p>\n<p>For example, someone with paranoia may walk into a restaurant, notice someone glances at her and be convinced that person is stalking her. People with paranoia test your loyalty and are afraid to confide, fearing the information will be used against them. These are the people who bear grudges and feel attacked in their character.<\/p>\n<p>A problem is that people keep their distance from paranoid people which then confirms to that paranoid even more distrust.<\/p>\n<p>These\u00a0signs will alert you that someone may be overly paranoid:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Overly jealous<\/li>\n<li>Tense and rigid<\/li>\n<li>Unwilling to compromise<\/li>\n<li>Blame others for interpersonal problems<\/li>\n<li>Moralistic<\/li>\n<li>Looking and finding ill intent<\/li>\n<li>Litigious<\/li>\n<li>Humorless<\/li>\n<li>Haughty<\/li>\n<li>Distant<\/li>\n<li>Few friends and few intimate others<\/li>\n<li>Distain weakness in others<\/li>\n<li>More common in men than women<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The paranoid person rarely asks for help. \u00a0So\u00a0here are some strategies to deal with paranoid people.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Win their trust.\u00a0<\/strong>One of the main issues is that paranoid people have a long-standing and unwarranted suspicion of mistrust about others. You have to win their trust. Don&#8217;t ask them to trust you. Win it. Do what you say. Respond honestly. Be true to your word. This usually takes time and requires you to be respectful and business like versus warm and intimate (too invasive). You have to help these people see that trust isn&#8217;t all or nothing. It&#8217;s lived on a continuum.<\/li>\n<li><strong>\u00a0Admit mistakes when you make them, apologize and then drop the issue.<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u00a0Don\u2019t&#8217; try to get the person to self-disclose.\u00a0<\/strong>Rather than challenge the paranoia (which will take you nowhere), <strong>challenge the person&#8217;s perception of his inadequacy<\/strong>. Usually they feel inadequate, imperfect and feel shame and humiliation and project (throw) that on others. As a Christian, you can use scripture to support that we all fall short, have weaknesses but it is in those places that God can really work.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Understand and their core assumption: People are deceptive, attack you. Avoid them cause you&#8217;ll get hurt.<\/strong>\u00a0This is what the paranoid person thinks and you will have to point out times when this does not seem to be true.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Be ready to be patient. If these seem strategies feel overwhelming, don&#8217;t be afraid to refer to a professional therapist. \u00a0This work usually takes a great deal of time and patience since you\u00a0are dealing with long-standing patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Relationships can be difficult. Some people are difficult because they are constantly suspicious and mistrust others. Every little thing that is said or done is more evidence for why they need to be paranoid or suspicious. Usually people with paranoia have difficulty being intimate in relationships and stay emotionally detached. They have enemies, mainly because&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Handle a Paranoid Person<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Handle a Paranoid Person\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Relationships can be difficult. Some people are difficult because they are constantly suspicious and mistrust others. Every little thing that is said or done is more evidence for why they need to be paranoid or suspicious. Usually people with paranoia have difficulty being intimate in relationships and stay emotionally detached. They have enemies, mainly because&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-03-10T11:00:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-03-04T15:18:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Handle a Paranoid Person","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Handle a Paranoid Person","og_description":"Relationships can be difficult. Some people are difficult because they are constantly suspicious and mistrust others. Every little thing that is said or done is more evidence for why they need to be paranoid or suspicious. Usually people with paranoia have difficulty being intimate in relationships and stay emotionally detached. They have enemies, mainly because&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2017-03-10T11:00:05+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-03-04T15:18:47+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html","name":"How to Handle a Paranoid Person","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg","datePublished":"2017-03-10T11:00:05+00:00","dateModified":"2017-03-04T15:18:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2017\/03\/hand-1832921_1920-300x200.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2017\/03\/handle-paranoid-person.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Handle a Paranoid Person"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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