{"id":8588,"date":"2016-10-10T06:00:29","date_gmt":"2016-10-10T10:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8588"},"modified":"2018-01-25T12:24:30","modified_gmt":"2018-01-25T17:24:30","slug":"happily-married-couples-dont","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html","title":{"rendered":"What Happily Married Couples Don&#8217;t Do!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8592\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg\" alt=\"social-media-1233873_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\" \/>Daily, Rachel feels the urge to post pictures of her relationship all over social media. She has pictures on Instagram and Facebook posts about marrying the greatest guy on earth, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Her sister, who knows Rachel&#8217;s relationship, has questioned her as to how much of her posting is an attempt to make her \u00a0look good to other people. Is she\u00a0trying to convince others of how happy she is?<\/p>\n<p>Should we wonder about Rachel&#8217;s relationship? Actually, yes!<\/p>\n<p>A\u00a0writer for\u00a0<em>Business Insider<\/em> takes the position that happy couples do NOT plaster their relationship all over social media. In fact,those who do are probably feeling\u00a0the opposite-less happy.<\/p>\n<p>The writer believes that when you are content with your partner, there is no need to post away and look for external validation. Yes, this is opinion, but the\u00a0writer raises some good points. Perhaps staying\u00a0present in the moment precludes attention to social media.<\/p>\n<p>Think of a time when you were having a wonderful experience\u00a0with your partner. Did you stop to take pictures and post? Most of us get lost in the moment and kick ourselves for not getting a picture to remember. We are focused on the other person and the experience, not social media.<\/p>\n<p>Also, consider\u00a0healthy\u00a0relationship boundaries. People in healthy relationships do not feel the need to share intimate details with strangers and random &#8220;friends.&#8221; They have boundaries! And those boundaries don&#8217;t include strangers.<\/p>\n<p>Supporting this opinion\u00a0is a 2015 <a href=\"http:\/\/guilfordjournals.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1521\/jscp.2014.33.8.701\">study<\/a>\u00a0from The Happiness Institute. Results of that study indicate that those who go for an entire week without using Facebook are happier than those constant posters. And there are <a href=\"http:\/\/www.techtimes.com\/articles\/144574\/20160329\/new-study-links-heavy-use-of-social-media-to-depression.htm\">studies<\/a> that link depression with excess social media use.*<\/p>\n<p>Generally speaking, the more you post, the less happy you are.<\/p>\n<p>So next time you are tempted to provide a highlight reel of your every relationship move, think about why you need to do this. Are you masking happiness and trying to bolster your feeling towards self or another?\u00a0Are you hoping to impress people? Resist, as it appears that happiness is not reflected in social media.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Daily, Rachel feels the urge to post pictures of her relationship all over social media. She has pictures on Instagram and Facebook posts about marrying the greatest guy on earth, etc. Her sister, who knows Rachel&#8217;s relationship, has questioned her as to how much of her posting is an attempt to make her \u00a0look good&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[128,304,198,234,3626],"class_list":["post-8588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couples","tag-depression","tag-happiness","tag-social-media","tag-social-media-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Happily Married Couples Don&#039;t Do!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Happily Married Couples Don&#039;t Do!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Daily, Rachel feels the urge to post pictures of her relationship all over social media. She has pictures on Instagram and Facebook posts about marrying the greatest guy on earth, etc. Her sister, who knows Rachel&#8217;s relationship, has questioned her as to how much of her posting is an attempt to make her \u00a0look good&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-10-10T10:00:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-01-25T17:24:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Happily Married Couples Don't Do!","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Happily Married Couples Don't Do!","og_description":"Daily, Rachel feels the urge to post pictures of her relationship all over social media. She has pictures on Instagram and Facebook posts about marrying the greatest guy on earth, etc. Her sister, who knows Rachel&#8217;s relationship, has questioned her as to how much of her posting is an attempt to make her \u00a0look good&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2016-10-10T10:00:29+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-01-25T17:24:30+00:00","author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_image":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html","name":"What Happily Married Couples Don't Do!","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg","datePublished":"2016-10-10T10:00:29+00:00","dateModified":"2018-01-25T17:24:30+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/social-media-1233873_1920-300x166.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/happily-married-couples-dont.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What Happily Married Couples Don&#8217;t Do!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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