{"id":8573,"date":"2016-10-06T06:00:52","date_gmt":"2016-10-06T10:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8573"},"modified":"2018-01-25T12:25:55","modified_gmt":"2018-01-25T17:25:55","slug":"little-pornography-help-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/little-pornography-help-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"Does A Little Pornography Help Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8578\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/10\/love-860319_1920-255x300.jpg\" alt=\"love-860319_1920\" width=\"255\" height=\"300\" \/>&#8220;We attended a marriage seminar and the leaders suggested we use a little pornography to spice up our marriage. Is that really a good idea?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>There are some couple\u00a0therapists that believe\u00a0a little porn can help a marriage. But is this really a strategy anyone\u00a0should\u00a0embrace?<\/p>\n<p>Based on what we are learning about pornography and what is does to the brain, in addition to what pornography does to\u00a0relationships and your spiritual life, NO.<\/p>\n<p>Because of the negative impact of pornography on so many levels, the\u00a0state of Utah has declared pornography a public health crisis. And a recent report in <em>Time Magazine<\/em> talked about the number of men whose brains are rewired from using porn and unable to achieve satisfactory sexual experiences in their intimate relationships. According to Ted Talker Dr. Gary Wilson, &#8220;Porn trains your brain to need everything\u00a0associated with porn to get aroused.&#8221; And this habit training impacts virility.<\/p>\n<p>So while clinicians\u00a0quip about the pros and cons of pornography, consumers know first hand the effects. The very pleasure and satisfaction that is sought using porn turns out not to\u00a0deliver. In fact, the opposite occurs. People feel empty when real life experience doesn&#8217;t measure up to the fantasy.<\/p>\n<p>Are we surprised that when intimacy is the desired outcome, that something based on lust and the objectification of women, doesn&#8217;t lead to greater intimacy. Pornography involves a\u00a0self-focused and self-gratifying mindset not conducive to\u00a0losing yourself in the other.<\/p>\n<p>So what exactly is\u00a0pornography doing to help a\u00a0marriage&#8211;creating sexual excitement, novelty? At what cost to the true intimacy of the couple? \u00a0At the risk of being labelled repressive, from a\u00a0moral framework, what is this teaching? Furthermore, the brain science supports the addictive nature of pornography use &#8211;\u00a0another whole set of problems.<\/p>\n<p>The truth: Pornography does not deliver. It is not an means to an end. It ends in emptiness and discontent. It keeps you wanting\u00a0more. And in the darkness of porn, you become even darker, building tolerance and needed more stimulation for the same effect.<\/p>\n<p>The remedy is to see pornography for what it is&#8211;a poor substitute for the beauty of sex in the context of love and intimacy. Take it out of your bedroom, off your phone, wipe it clean from your hard rive and then you have a chance to restore a healthy intimate relationship in marriage.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;We attended a marriage seminar and the leaders suggested we use a little pornography to spice up our marriage. Is that really a good idea?&#8221; There are some couple\u00a0therapists that believe\u00a0a little porn can help a marriage. But is this really a strategy anyone\u00a0should\u00a0embrace? Based on what we are learning about pornography and what is&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[3117,1382,262,3622],"class_list":["post-8573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couples-relationship","tag-intimacy","tag-pornography","tag-pornography-use-in-marriage"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Does A Little Pornography Help Marriage?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Does A Little Pornography Help Marriage?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;We attended a marriage seminar and the leaders suggested we use a little pornography to spice up our marriage. 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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