{"id":8570,"date":"2016-10-04T08:53:37","date_gmt":"2016-10-04T12:53:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8570"},"modified":"2016-10-04T08:52:19","modified_gmt":"2016-10-04T12:52:19","slug":"child-says-teacher-picking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/child-says-teacher-picking.html","title":{"rendered":"My Child Says the Teacher is Picking On Her"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8571\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/10\/teacher-1280966_1920-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"teacher-1280966_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Reader Question:<\/strong> \u00a0<strong>My 11-year-old daughter says her science teacher doesn\u2019t like her and has it in for her. She claims the teacher calls her out in class and grades her papers more strict than the other students. How can I find out if she is right without making matters worse? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>At some point in a school career, a teacher and student will clash. Not all personalities work together well.<\/p>\n<p>What your daughter is reporting is her <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">perception,<\/span> so it is important to get at the root of what is going on between the two. As you investigate, stay open minded, not accusing the teacher of anything. You need to hear the teacher&#8217;s perception as well.<\/p>\n<p>I would send a note to the teacher and ask for a meeting. In that meeting, talk to the teacher about how important it is for your daughter to do well in her class and ask what your daughter could do to improve her grades. You can tell the teacher that your daughter feels like she is struggling and see what the teacher has to say. Maybe the teacher is unaware of your daughter\u2019s feelings. Most teachers want to help their students succeed.<\/p>\n<p>That said, I have had a few parent-teacher conferences in my day where I felt the teacher was picking on my child. A parent-teacher conference helped clear things up. In addition, I encouraged my children to meet with their teachers for regular feedback. Doing so, forced my children to deal with conflict face to face. And teachers like children who show an interest in improving and being taught. Teachers\u00a0usually like involved parents who are supportive of their efforts and want to help their children. The most important point to remember is to not go in to a teacher meeting gunning for the teacher. It will only make the teacher more defensive. Show respect and be the best advocate for your daughter by encouraging a working-together attitude.<\/p>\n<p>If you still feel that the teacher is not listening or minimizing the problem, track your daughter\u2019s homework and notes and request a second meeting. I had to do this once and it put the teacher on notice that I was paying attention. Things improved because I stayed positive and took the position that the teacher wanted to help my child.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Reader Question: \u00a0My 11-year-old daughter says her science teacher doesn\u2019t like her and has it in for her. She claims the teacher calls her out in class and grades her papers more strict than the other students. How can I find out if she is right without making matters worse? At some point in a&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[3621,3618,3620,2845,3619,3617],"class_list":["post-8570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-parent-teacher","tag-parents-and-teachers","tag-problems-in-the-classroom","tag-school-problems","tag-students-and-teachers","tag-teachers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>My Child Says the Teacher is Picking On Her<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Child Says the Teacher is Picking On Her\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Reader Question: \u00a0My 11-year-old daughter says her science teacher doesn\u2019t like her and has it in for her. She claims the teacher calls her out in class and grades her papers more strict than the other students. How can I find out if she is right without making matters worse? At some point in a&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/10\/child-says-teacher-picking.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-10-04T12:53:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-10-04T12:52:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/10\/teacher-1280966_1920-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"My Child Says the Teacher is Picking On Her","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"My Child Says the Teacher is Picking On Her","og_description":"Reader Question: \u00a0My 11-year-old daughter says her science teacher doesn\u2019t like her and has it in for her. She claims the teacher calls her out in class and grades her papers more strict than the other students. How can I find out if she is right without making matters worse? 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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