{"id":8236,"date":"2016-07-20T06:00:50","date_gmt":"2016-07-20T10:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8236"},"modified":"2016-07-01T13:05:40","modified_gmt":"2016-07-01T17:05:40","slug":"cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html","title":{"rendered":"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7978\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"ID-100305411\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Tom wanted out of his marriage. When I asked him why, his answer was a bit startling. &#8220;I know I should try to work out my marital problems, but I just don&#8217;t want to anymore. Don&#8217;t you think God has enough grace to cover me here? If I leave my wife and then say I am sorry, that should do it. I can move on with a better life.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This application of grace is distorted. It is\u00a0what German theologian,\u00a0Dietrich Bonhoeffer, coined &#8220;cheap grace. &#8221; Bonhoeffer defined it as,\u00a0\u201cthe preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bonhoeffer was\u00a0addressing an attitude of those who want the benefits of Christianity without the cost. It is an attitude that we unfortunately see all too often in our culture. People want God&#8217;s blessing but they don&#8217;t want to pay the price by being obedient to His Word. Instead, we want to go our own way, make our own rules and put God in a box that works for us. Bonhoeffer talked about justifying sin by counting on God&#8217;s grace to forgive it. And this is exactly what Tom is doing. He knows God&#8217;s\u00a0grace is freely given, but doesn&#8217;t recognize\u00a0the cost of that grace and how it\u00a0impacts his life and choices. Tom is using grace to justify his actions.<\/p>\n<p>None of us are beyond needing grace. We are all sinners and have come short of the glory of God.\u00a0But how we deal with sin matters. We are to receive God&#8217;s grace with a repentant heart. Sin requires confession with true repentance, a turning away from what is wrong. It is not a license to willfully sin. And this is what is in Ton&#8217;s heart. He is trying to justify his sin and keep God in the picture.<\/p>\n<p>So the next time you are tempted to cheapen God&#8217;s grace, consider the cost of that grace&#8211;our Savior&#8217;s life. And like Tom, it is not a justification for leaving a marriage or doing what we want and then counting on God to get in line with our ideas and plans.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tom wanted out of his marriage. When I asked him why, his answer was a bit startling. &#8220;I know I should try to work out my marital problems, but I just don&#8217;t want to anymore. Don&#8217;t you think God has enough grace to cover me here? If I leave my wife and then say I&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[920,128,132,751,1544,125,1145,3530],"class_list":["post-8236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-couples","tag-divorce","tag-grace","tag-marital-problems","tag-marriage","tag-separation","tag-unhappy-marriage"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Cheap Grace as a Marital Out<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tom wanted out of his marriage. When I asked him why, his answer was a bit startling. &#8220;I know I should try to work out my marital problems, but I just don&#8217;t want to anymore. Don&#8217;t you think God has enough grace to cover me here? If I leave my wife and then say I&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-20T10:00:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-07-01T17:05:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out","og_description":"Tom wanted out of his marriage. When I asked him why, his answer was a bit startling. &#8220;I know I should try to work out my marital problems, but I just don&#8217;t want to anymore. Don&#8217;t you think God has enough grace to cover me here? If I leave my wife and then say I&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2016-07-20T10:00:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-07-01T17:05:40+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html","name":"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-20T10:00:50+00:00","dateModified":"2016-07-01T17:05:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/02\/ID-100305411-300x200.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/07\/cheap-grace-as-a-marital-out.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Cheap Grace as a Marital Out"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8236"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8236\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8238,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8236\/revisions\/8238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}