{"id":8165,"date":"2016-05-13T07:00:08","date_gmt":"2016-05-13T11:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8165"},"modified":"2016-05-09T07:13:38","modified_gmt":"2016-05-09T11:13:38","slug":"the-emotional-journey-of-caregiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/05\/the-emotional-journey-of-caregiving.html","title":{"rendered":"The Emotional Journey of Caregiving"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/images\/agree-terms.php?id=100182125\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8168\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/05\/ID-100182125-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"ID-100182125\" width=\"200\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>Before\u00a0my\u00a0mom passed away after years of serious health issues and treatment needs,\u00a0it was like having a part time job.\u00a0The toll of decision making, talking with doctors, flying home on a regular basis and taking care of multiple needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. For me, it wasn\u2019t an option not to do this. My mom took care of me when I needed her. Now it was my turn.<\/p>\n<p>Even though you choose to give care, it can create an emotional strain. The National Family Caregivers Association reports that almost half of all caregivers suffer from depression; two-thirds regularly feel frustrated; and two of five feel \u201cdebilitated\u201d due to the changes in family dynamics.<\/p>\n<p>Ever since the term \u201csandwich generation\u201d was born, self-help groups, facts and information abound on how to make and execute various practical tasks involved in care taking parents. But it is the emotional part of caregiving that takes a toll.<\/p>\n<p>What are some of the emotional issues involved for the adult caretaker?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Your own mortality. Care taking an aging parent causes you to think about your own aging process and eventual death.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Who will take care of you if you need help some day? You may begin to think more about your own options and plans for care.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Unresolved parent-child problems. The hope of many is that taking care of a parent may reverse a damaged relationship. When this doesn\u2019t happen it can be even more distressing for the adult child. For example, a daughter might find the father who never gave approval, still not giving his approval, or the mother who was depressed and emotionally unavailable, still emotionally distant.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Remorse about the past. You may have regrets that were never discussed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Reversal of roles. You become the parent and the parent becomes the child. This reversal of roles requires adjustment for both child and parent.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All of this requires extra doses of patience, understanding and grace. Try to honor your parents no matter how difficult the care taking becomes. Remember their dignity. They desire to be independent and self-sufficient as long as possible. Aging parents often worry that they are a burden to their adult children. They are not used to their children having to do for them. Put yourself in their place, having to depend on others when they have lived a life of independence. This perspective helps.<\/p>\n<p>Be aware of the emotional issues raised and then work to manage or resolve them if possible. If you need the help of a therapist, find one who will counsel you and who specializes in treatment with the aged. Take advantage of help and support so you don\u2019t become one of the seriously stressed.<\/p>\n<p>The positive side of caretaking is that you will be more aware of what you need to do in terms of your own planning, you become more self-confident in terms of your ability to deal with health care workers and you can end well with your parent, not having regrets about the end of their lives. So do what you can, watch your stress levels and get plenty of support along the way.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Before\u00a0my\u00a0mom passed away after years of serious health issues and treatment needs,\u00a0it was like having a part time job.\u00a0The toll of decision making, talking with doctors, flying home on a regular basis and taking care of multiple needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. For me, it wasn\u2019t an option not to do this. My&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[823,3516,3517,819],"class_list":["post-8165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-aging","tag-burnout","tag-caretakers","tag-caretaking"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Emotional Journey of Caregiving<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/05\/the-emotional-journey-of-caregiving.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Emotional Journey of Caregiving\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Before\u00a0my\u00a0mom passed away after years of serious health issues and treatment needs,\u00a0it was like having a part time job.\u00a0The toll of decision making, talking with doctors, flying home on a regular basis and taking care of multiple needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. For me, it wasn\u2019t an option not to do this. My&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/05\/the-emotional-journey-of-caregiving.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-13T11:00:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-05-09T11:13:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/05\/ID-100182125-200x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Emotional Journey of Caregiving","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/05\/the-emotional-journey-of-caregiving.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Emotional Journey of Caregiving","og_description":"Before\u00a0my\u00a0mom passed away after years of serious health issues and treatment needs,\u00a0it was like having a part time job.\u00a0The toll of decision making, talking with doctors, flying home on a regular basis and taking care of multiple needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. For me, it wasn\u2019t an option not to do this. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8165"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8169,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8165\/revisions\/8169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}