{"id":8097,"date":"2016-04-20T07:00:15","date_gmt":"2016-04-20T11:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=8097"},"modified":"2016-04-15T10:46:14","modified_gmt":"2016-04-15T14:46:14","slug":"why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Why Don’t I Have More Sexual Desire?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"neck<\/a>Sally looked down and a bit anxious. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m just not that interested in sex with my husband these days. I feel exhausted with three small kids, I’m working part-time and have been on an antidepressant. Any thoughts?”<\/p>\n

One of the top sexual concerns for women has to with desire and interest. We wonder, are we normal? Why don’t we feel and act like the women in the movies and on television? For starters, media is heavily sexual laden to peak your interest and get you to watch. It rarely depicts reality–those are called documentaries!!!<\/p>\n

First, there are a number of physical causes<\/strong> to low sexual desire. Everything from diabetes to heart disease impacts desire. Smoking and substance use (alcohol) can affect desire as well. So the first step is to have a physical and make sure there is no medical cause at the root. That said, the biological and psychological are intertwined when we are talking about female sexuality.<\/p>\n

Along with medical conditions, consider the medications you may be taking. Many have side effects of low desire. Certain antidepressants and benzodiazepines (anxiety) are associated with sexual dysfunction, so check with your doctor. Sally is on an antidepressant and when it was checked, it was one that does negatively affect sexual desire.<\/p>\n

Second, is there a psychiatric link<\/strong> to low desire–are you depressed, have concerns about sexual performance, struggling with guilt, dealing with the effects of past trauma or have attitudes towards sex that might affect desire? This is an important list because about one-third of women who present for sexual dysfunction are clinically depressed and anxious. And past traumas that are untreated also make up a bulk of women who struggle. This means you may need to treat the psychiatric cause for things to get better.<\/p>\n

Third, examine your relationship<\/strong>. The relationship itself is a determiner of satisfaction \u00a0and desire. So how are you doing as a couple? Emotional well-being is important for you to feel desire. If you are angry, upset, worried, etc. in this relationship, it will translate to the bedroom. Work out your couple issues and sex usually improves.<\/p>\n

Finally, other life issues<\/strong> like negative self-image, chronic stress and distractions, heavy work load, having a baby, etc, play a role in how much desire you have on any given day. Certainly fatigue and stress are the top 2 on my list.<\/p>\n

So as you think about what might be the cause of low desire, look through this list and decide if working with a doctor or therapist might help. Making a few lifestyle changes like getting rest, limiting your workload, taking time to relax, improving your relationship also\u00a0help to boost desire.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sally looked down and a bit anxious. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m just not that interested in sex with my husband these days. I feel exhausted with three small kids, I’m working part-time and have been on an antidepressant. Any thoughts?” One of the top sexual concerns for women has to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[3510,3509,3508],"class_list":["post-8097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-female-sexuality","tag-low-desire","tag-sexual-issues"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Don't I Have More Sexual Desire?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Don't I Have More Sexual Desire?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sally looked down and a bit anxious. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m just not that interested in sex with my husband these days. I feel exhausted with three small kids, I’m working part-time and have been on an antidepressant. Any thoughts?” One of the top sexual concerns for women has to…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-04-20T11:00:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-04-15T14:46:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/02\/neck-pain--225x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why Don't I Have More Sexual Desire?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why Don't I Have More Sexual Desire?","og_description":"Sally looked down and a bit anxious. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m just not that interested in sex with my husband these days. I feel exhausted with three small kids, I’m working part-time and have been on an antidepressant. Any thoughts?” One of the top sexual concerns for women has to…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2016-04-20T11:00:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-04-15T14:46:14+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/02\/neck-pain--225x300.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html","name":"Why Don't I Have More Sexual Desire?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/02\/neck-pain--225x300.jpg","datePublished":"2016-04-20T11:00:15+00:00","dateModified":"2016-04-15T14:46:14+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/02\/neck-pain--225x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/02\/neck-pain--225x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/04\/why-dont-i-have-more-sexual-desire-in-my-relationship.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why Don’t I Have More Sexual Desire?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8097"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8097\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8102,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8097\/revisions\/8102"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}