{"id":7896,"date":"2016-02-02T07:00:58","date_gmt":"2016-02-02T12:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=7896"},"modified":"2016-01-30T06:58:42","modified_gmt":"2016-01-30T11:58:42","slug":"fighting-with-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html","title":{"rendered":"Fighting with a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7805\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg\" alt=\"2573762303_365ac020f8_b\" width=\"257\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and\u00a0the fights take\u00a0on a\u00a0common pattern. Sharon is dating a\u00a0narcissist.<\/p>\n<p>The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of those traits describe Rich, who is\u00a0becoming more difficult whenever there is a disagreement. Sharon isn&#8217;t sure marrying him is\u00a0a good idea.<\/p>\n<p>Whenever Sharon disagrees with Rich, he becomes very upset. The other night at a party, he accused Sharon of flirting. When Sharon insisted he was overreacting, he continued to accuse her. Rich <strong>felt threatened<\/strong>-the usual trigger that starts their conflict. No matter how many times Sharon tried to calm him down, he continued to escalate.<\/p>\n<p>The escalation led to<strong> verbal abuse<\/strong> in which Rich continued to make accusations, accusing Sharon of not loving him, being uncommitted to the relationship, having eyes for other men and so forth.\u00a0This lasted for hours until Sharon finally gave\u00a0up! Defending herself goes no where, as Rich is\u00a0relentless with his accusations when he believes he is right.<\/p>\n<p>When Sharon gave up, Rich <strong>became the victim<\/strong>! Sharon&#8217;s silence was\u00a0interpreted as evidence that she was guilty. Rich told\u00a0Sharon that her inability to defend herself supported his claim of\u00a0\u00a0jealousy. Sharon felt\u00a0guilty and\u00a0allowed\u00a0his twisted logic to make her feel bad. Somehow Rich became\u00a0the victim of the fight he actually started. But Sharon also felt\u00a0relief that his relentless accusations stopped.<\/p>\n<p>Rich <strong>felt\u00a0empowered<\/strong>. In his mind, he justified his accusations and felt superior. However,\u00a0\u00a0the\u00a0feeling of having\u00a0the upper hand will only last until he feels threatened by something again.<\/p>\n<p>Sharon has been with Rich a year and feels exhausted by this relationship. She realizes that conflict with a narcissist will be on-going unless he gets help. Since Rich refuses to acknowledge a need for help, she makes the decision to walk away from the relationship. Of course Rich believes it was all Sharon&#8217;s fault.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and\u00a0the fights take\u00a0on a\u00a0common pattern. Sharon is dating a\u00a0narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of those traits describe Rich, who is\u00a0becoming more difficult whenever there is a disagreement. Sharon isn&#8217;t sure&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[602,503,3466,2321,3251,3465],"class_list":["post-7896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-abuse","tag-conflict","tag-narcissist","tag-narcissistic","tag-personality-disorder","tag-psychological-abuse"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fighting with a Narcissist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fighting with a Narcissist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and\u00a0the fights take\u00a0on a\u00a0common pattern. Sharon is dating a\u00a0narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of those traits describe Rich, who is\u00a0becoming more difficult whenever there is a disagreement. Sharon isn&#8217;t sure&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-02-02T12:00:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-01-30T11:58:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Fighting with a Narcissist","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Fighting with a Narcissist","og_description":"Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and\u00a0the fights take\u00a0on a\u00a0common pattern. Sharon is dating a\u00a0narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of those traits describe Rich, who is\u00a0becoming more difficult whenever there is a disagreement. Sharon isn&#8217;t sure&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2016-02-02T12:00:58+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-01-30T11:58:42+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html","name":"Fighting with a Narcissist","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg","datePublished":"2016-02-02T12:00:58+00:00","dateModified":"2016-01-30T11:58:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/02\/fighting-with-a-narcissist.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Fighting with a Narcissist"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7896"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7896\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7900,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7896\/revisions\/7900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}