{"id":7866,"date":"2016-01-19T07:00:34","date_gmt":"2016-01-19T12:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=7866"},"modified":"2016-01-15T08:11:00","modified_gmt":"2016-01-15T13:11:00","slug":"not-measuring-up-to-your-former-classmates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/01\/not-measuring-up-to-your-former-classmates.html","title":{"rendered":"Not Measuring Up to Your Former Classmates?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/01\/ID-100361378.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-7869\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2016\/01\/ID-100361378-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"ID-100361378\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a><\/strong><strong>Question: I married and had children very early. \u00a0I love being a mom but\u00a0I just attended a high school reunion and felt a bit envious of all the things my classmates have accomplished.\u00a0 I noticed my confidence dropped as I realized I didn&#8217;t\u00a0measure up\u00a0and had little\u00a0to offer in\u00a0the conversation.\u00a0 How can I reconnect with a confident spirit amidst these feelings of low self-worth?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Maybe you are up to your neck in laundry and thinking, \u201cReally, this is my life when all my friends seem to be doing so much,\u201d but take that thought captive. Even when you are doing those menial tasks, you are home with your children, teaching and helping them grow in to productive adults. And trust me, that job has more life significance than securing a sale for your boss\u2019 firm.<\/p>\n<p>What you are doing is one of the most valuable roles you could ever play. You have, and are, accomplishing things of generational and eternal value. Every day when you love on your children and provide them a safe and secure home, you are setting the stage for success in their adult lives.\u00a0And trust me, mothering skills translate to a number of job skills if you choose to go that direction at a later time.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, we live in a culture that places great emphasis on accomplishments unrelated to developing healthy family relationships. Yet, a safe and secure attachment for a child establishes his or her intimacy needs and attachments in adult life.\u00a0 And your presence helps to create that secure attachment. So while you may feel you don&#8217;t measure up to your former classmates, you have grossly underestimated your enormous contribution to those you love and cherish!<\/p>\n<p>And let&#8217;s be real, people tend to exaggerate their importance at reunions. There is something about those old high school dynamics that make us all feel competitive again. My guess is they might even envy what you are choosing to do!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0Question: I married and had children very early. \u00a0I love being a mom but\u00a0I just attended a high school reunion and felt a bit envious of all the things my classmates have accomplished.\u00a0 I noticed my confidence dropped as I realized I didn&#8217;t\u00a0measure up\u00a0and had little\u00a0to offer in\u00a0the conversation.\u00a0 How can I reconnect with a&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[3461,1773,3458,3459,3457,1087,3460],"class_list":["post-7866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-comparing-self-to-others","tag-confidence","tag-high-school-reunions","tag-measuring-up","tag-mothering","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-worth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Not Measuring Up to Your Former Classmates?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/01\/not-measuring-up-to-your-former-classmates.html\" \/>\n<meta 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had children very early. \u00a0I love being a mom but\u00a0I just attended a high school reunion and felt a bit envious of all the things my classmates have accomplished.\u00a0 I noticed my confidence dropped as I realized I didn&#8217;t\u00a0measure up\u00a0and had little\u00a0to offer in\u00a0the conversation.\u00a0 How can I reconnect with a&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2016\/01\/not-measuring-up-to-your-former-classmates.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2016-01-19T12:00:34+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-01-15T13:11:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2016\/01\/ID-100361378-300x200.jpg"}],"author":"Linda 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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