{"id":7802,"date":"2015-12-07T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2015-12-07T12:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=7802"},"modified":"2015-12-06T16:16:02","modified_gmt":"2015-12-06T21:16:02","slug":"how-to-love-your-upsetting-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Love Your Upsetting Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"2573762303_365ac020f8_b\"<\/a>I spoke to a woman who hasn’t talked to her mother for most of the year. She is angry at the way she is treated. Because of her anger, she is refusing to see her mom at Christmas. “I want to make her feel like she does me–unimportant and rejected. But I am guessing you are going to tell me this isn’t a good response.”<\/p>\n

She’s right. She claims to be a follower of Christ. Can\u00a0treating her mother like she has been treated be a Christian response?\u00a0We spent a few minutes in 1 Corinthians 13– a chapter used frequently at weddings, but a powerful chapter on how we are to treat each other\u00a0every day of the year. Families are no exception. They are often our\u00a0laboratory of learning!<\/p>\n

Love is patient,\u00a0love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,\u00a0it is not easily angered,\u00a0it keeps no record of wrongs.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Love does not delight in evil\u00a0but rejoices with the truth.<\/span>\u00a0It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We are to love our family as we have been loved by God.\u00a0This holiday season, consider how to love your family with God’s love. What does that look like? What does that mean for you? Possibly one of these seven:<\/p>\n

1)\u00a0Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Even when we’ve been wronged, we are not to repay evil with evil. Love doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t try to even, it offers forgiveness.<\/p>\n

2) Love means we have been given God’s grace even though we aren’t\u00a0worthy. God\u00a0pursued us when we didn’t deserve it. He sent His Son to pay for our sins. Shouldn’t we do the same by pursuing those who are not worthy?<\/p>\n

3) Love bears all things. Even though Jesus knows us inside out, he still forgives our guilt. He\u00a0is our example to bear all things.<\/p>\n

4) Love demands we sometimes lay aside our preferences and bless someone even when we don’t feel like it. With difficult family, we rarely feel like blessing them, yet this is the challenge.<\/p>\n

5) Love pushes us to let go of offense and\u00a0\u00a0persevere in difficult relationships.<\/p>\n

6) Love refuses to jump to conclusions and prompts us to reconcile when we can.<\/p>\n

7) Love requires kindness be given– even to those who attack us.<\/p>\n

Love is challenging us to love our upsetting families with the same love that has been given to us through Jesus Christ. I”m not suggesting this is easy, but with the power of the Holy Spirit in us, it can be done.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I spoke to a woman who hasn’t talked to her mother for most of the year. She is angry at the way she is treated. Because of her anger, she is refusing to see her mom at Christmas. “I want to make her feel like she does me–unimportant and rejected. But I am guessing you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[3446,3447,644,300],"class_list":["post-7802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-families-at-the-holidays","tag-family-issues","tag-family-relationships","tag-love"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Love Your Upsetting Family<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Love Your Upsetting Family\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I spoke to a woman who hasn’t talked to her mother for most of the year. She is angry at the way she is treated. Because of her anger, she is refusing to see her mom at Christmas. “I want to make her feel like she does me–unimportant and rejected. But I am guessing you…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-12-07T12:00:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-06T21:16:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Love Your Upsetting Family","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Love Your Upsetting Family","og_description":"I spoke to a woman who hasn’t talked to her mother for most of the year. She is angry at the way she is treated. Because of her anger, she is refusing to see her mom at Christmas. “I want to make her feel like she does me–unimportant and rejected. But I am guessing you…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2015-12-07T12:00:27+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-06T21:16:02+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html","name":"How to Love Your Upsetting Family","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg","datePublished":"2015-12-07T12:00:27+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-06T21:16:02+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2015\/12\/2573762303_365ac020f8_b-257x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/12\/how-to-love-your-upsetting-family.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Love Your Upsetting Family"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7802","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7802"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7806,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7802\/revisions\/7806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}