{"id":7276,"date":"2015-06-29T07:00:20","date_gmt":"2015-06-29T11:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=7276"},"modified":"2015-06-28T08:34:40","modified_gmt":"2015-06-28T12:34:40","slug":"are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-5381\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"s child sleep\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/><\/a>Parenting is on John&#8217;s mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father&#8217;s expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his parenting style is becoming all to similar to his dad&#8217;s. He wants to make changes and asks, &#8220;What is the best parenting style?<\/p>\n<p>Parenting styles tend to fall in one of four categories: (1)\u00a0Parents who are <em>authoritarian<\/em>. These parents have high expectations. Rules are expected to be followed. Authoritarian parents don\u2019t usually give children options and can lack warmth and nurturing. Their approach is, \u201cDo it because I told you so.\u201d (2)\u00a0<em>Authoritative<\/em> parents also expect children to follow rules but are much more responsive and democratic in the process. Discipline is supportive rather than punishing. (3)\u00a0<em>Permissive<\/em> parents have few demands for the child and rarely discipline. These parents act more like the child\u2019s friend than parent. (4)\u00a0<em>Uninvolved<\/em> parents have few demands or involvement. They can also be rejecting or neglecting of a child\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n<p>Researchers have found that parents who are more <em>authoritative<\/em> in their parenting style have kids with fewer behavior problems, higher academic achievement, and less depression and anxiety. They tend to fare better overall.<a href=\"#_edn1\" name=\"_ednref1\">[i]<\/a> This means the type A parent\u2019s push for order and getting things done should be balanced with fun, encouragement, and support. The driven type A parent has to be careful to show compassion along the way and understand that success can look different for different kids. The danger with pushing too hard is that children begin to feel they aren\u2019t accepted for who they are and learn to conform to your dreams, not theirs. The best thing is to understand your child\u2019s temperament and help him reach his potential and passion, using a balance of pushing and accepting.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Adapted from <a href=\"http:\/\/Parenting styles tend to fall in one of four categories: (1) Parents who are authoritarian. These parents have high expectations. Rules are expected to be followed. Authoritarian parents don\u2019t usually give children options and can lack warmth and nurturing. Their approach is, \u201cDo it because I told you so.\u201d (2) Authoritative parents also expect children to follow rules but are much more responsive and democratic in the process. Discipline is supportive rather than punishing. (3) Permissive parents have few demands for the child and rarely discipline. These parents act more like the child\u2019s friend than parent. (4) Uninvolved parents have few demands or involvement. They can also be rejecting or neglecting of a child\u2019s needs. Researchers have found that parents who are more authoritative in their parenting style have kids with fewer behavior problems, higher academic achievement, and less depression and anxiety. They tend to fare better overall.  This means the type A parent\u2019s push for order and getting things done should be balanced with fun, encouragement, and support. The driven type A parent has to be careful to show compassion along the way and understand that success can look different for different kids. The danger with pushing too hard is that children begin to feel they aren\u2019t accepted for who they are and learn to conform to your dreams, not theirs. The best thing is to understand your child\u2019s temperament and help him reach his potential and passion, using a balance of pushing and accepting.\" target=\"_blank\">We Need to Talk<\/a> by Linda Mintle (2015, Baker Books)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ednref1\" name=\"_edn1\">[i]<\/a> D. Baumrind, \u201cChild-care Practices Anteceding Three Patterns of Preschool Behavior,\u201d <em>Genetic Psychology Monographs <\/em>75 (1967): 43\u201388.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting is on John&#8217;s mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father&#8217;s expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his parenting style is becoming all to similar to his&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[3313,3254,41,52,1009,3314],"class_list":["post-7276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-authoritarian-parenting","tag-authoritative-parenting","tag-neglect","tag-parenting-2","tag-parenting-style","tag-permissive-parenting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Parenting is on John&#8217;s mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father&#8217;s expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his parenting style is becoming all to similar to his&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-06-29T11:00:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-06-28T12:34:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?","og_description":"Parenting is on John&#8217;s mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father&#8217;s expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his parenting style is becoming all to similar to his&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2015-06-29T11:00:20+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-06-28T12:34:40+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html","name":"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg","datePublished":"2015-06-29T11:00:20+00:00","dateModified":"2015-06-28T12:34:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/s-child-sleep-300x199.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/06\/are-you-practicing-the-best-parenting-style.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7276"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7284,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276\/revisions\/7284"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}