{"id":7079,"date":"2015-04-20T06:00:42","date_gmt":"2015-04-20T10:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=7079"},"modified":"2015-04-07T09:48:28","modified_gmt":"2015-04-07T13:48:28","slug":"the-consequences-of-holding-a-grudge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/04\/the-consequences-of-holding-a-grudge.html","title":{"rendered":"The Consequences of Holding a Grudge"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"BFS_Anger_LG\"<\/a>A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. A grudge develops when you don\u2019t like the way a conflict ended. Nursing a grudge can lead to revenge. Consider the story of John the Baptist in Mark 6 of the Bible.<\/p>\n

Herod was a tetrarch under the Roman Empire. He fell in love with his brother\u2019s wife, Heriodias, who was also his niece. Herodias agreed to marry Herod if he would divorce his first wife. Talk about family conflict!<\/p>\n

John the Baptist was a rather outspoken prophet who criticized Herod for this marriage. Herod wasn\u2019t happy about the judgment and imprisoned John. He would have killed John but was afraid of how the people would respond to the killing of one of their prophets. Herod wanted to avoid an uprising.<\/p>\n

Herodias was angry that John called her marriage unlawful. She held this against John and nursed the grudge. She was so angry that she looked for an opportunity to have John killed.<\/p>\n

In the story, Herod has a birthday party. Herodias\u2019s daughter dances and pleases the tetrarch. Because Herod was so pleased, he tells the daughter to ask anything she likes and he will give it to her. Having been coached by her mother, the daughter asks for the head of John the Baptist, thus securing her mother\u2019s revenge. This biblical story would have ended differently had Herod listened to the truth, accepted responsibility, and repented. Instead, a grudge was nursed and revenge was sought.<\/p>\n

The take away: Let go of the offense and don\u2019t hold a grudge. The cost to you isn\u2019t worth it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Excerpted and adapted from We Need To Talk<\/em> <\/a>by Linda Mintle, Ph.D. (Baker Books, 2015).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. A grudge develops when you don\u2019t like the way a conflict ended. Nursing a grudge can lead to revenge. Consider the story of John the Baptist in Mark 6 of the Bible. Herod was a tetrarch under the Roman Empire. He fell in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917],"tags":[75,3249,3250,53,77],"class_list":["post-7079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-anger","tag-grudge","tag-john-the-baptist","tag-relationships","tag-revenge"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Consequences of Holding a Grudge<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/04\/the-consequences-of-holding-a-grudge.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Consequences of Holding a Grudge\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. 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