{"id":6998,"date":"2015-03-03T06:00:59","date_gmt":"2015-03-03T11:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=6998"},"modified":"2015-12-02T11:47:20","modified_gmt":"2015-12-02T16:47:20","slug":"10-ways-to-resist-sex-outside-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/03\/10-ways-to-resist-sex-outside-of-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sean Lowe, made famous by the reality television shows\u00a0<em>The Bachelorette <\/em>and<em> The Bachelor, <\/em>was<em>\u00a0<\/em>known as the\u00a0Virgin Bachelor. But Lowe\u00a0makes no apologies for his desire to wait until marriage to have sex with the woman he wanted to marry.<\/p>\n<p>Recently, he spoke at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/seanlowe\/2015\/02\/watch-sean-lowe-speak-at-liberty-university\/\" target=\"_blank\">Liberty University&#8217;s convocation<\/a>\u00a0and talked about how he challenged the lie that you have to sexually test out a partner before marriage in order to know if you have sexual compatibility.<\/p>\n<p>A recent Gallup poll reported:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>80 percent of young unmarried Christians have had sex outside of marriage.<\/li>\n<li>Two-thirds of unmarried Christians have been sexual active in the last year.<\/li>\n<li>42 percent of the 18-29 year olds in the 80 percent group are currently in sexual relationships.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Yet, despite these statistics, 76 percent of Christians still believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Apparently, there is a wide disconnect between what we believe and what we actually do. Why is this and how can live what we believe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) Talk about sex in the church. <\/strong>Rather than pretending that pre-marital sex isn\u2019t happening, we need conversations about how to resist temptation and deal with sexual brokenness. The pressures to conform, availability of pornography, and how we cope with living in a culture saturated with sex, need honest discussion with shared strategies to stay the course.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2)<\/strong> When you engage with media, <strong>be intentional. <\/strong>Does what you see line up with a biblical worldview? The constant exposure to promiscuity can desensitize us to the truth of God\u2019s word.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3) Go to church<\/strong>. Attending church one day a week (which is what most people do) hardly competes with the daily onslaught of sexual messages, but it does provide a weekly centering and reminder.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4) Continue to read your Bible<\/strong> in order to renew your mind to God\u2019s ways versus the cultural narrative. Sean was reading the Bible every day when he was on the show.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5) Pray with each other and put on the armor of God <\/strong>since it is a difficult struggle (Ephesians 6:10-18). We need each other to stay strong.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6) Share real stories of sexual promiscuity<\/strong>, e.g., sexually transmitted infections, the emotional fall out of sex outside of marriage, and the spiritual issues involved. Media focus on the physical act of sex, but people live with the emotional and spiritual fall out of sexually acting out. Those stories need to be shared as well. There is no real life glamour of promiscuity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7) Value marriage.<\/strong>\u00a0Waiting to have sex or being faithful in marriage are\u00a0worth fighting for and need to be valued.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8) Examine the cohabitation data. <\/strong>Cohabitation leads to an increased chance of divorce, the very thing couples fear. The data doesn&#8217;t support the idea that hooking up prior to marriage, makes marriage better or prevents divorce.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9)<\/strong> F<strong>ind friends who want to be accountable<\/strong> and will try to live what they believe. When you surround yourself with like-minded people, it is easier to encourage each other to resist temptation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10)<\/strong> When it comes to sex, <strong>resisting temptation is best done by not putting oneself in a position of temptation<\/strong>. Identify the triggers that can leave you vulnerable and avoid those whenever possible.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sean Lowe, made famous by the reality television shows\u00a0The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, was\u00a0known as the\u00a0Virgin Bachelor. But Lowe\u00a0makes no apologies for his desire to wait until marriage to have sex with the woman he wanted to marry. Recently, he spoke at Liberty University&#8217;s convocation\u00a0and talked about how he challenged the lie that you have&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[515,3226,3223,3224,3225],"class_list":["post-6998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-premarital-sex","tag-resisting-sexual-temptation","tag-sean-lowe","tag-the-bachelor","tag-virgin-bachelor"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sean Lowe, made famous by the reality television shows\u00a0The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, was\u00a0known as the\u00a0Virgin Bachelor. But Lowe\u00a0makes no apologies for his desire to wait until marriage to have sex with the woman he wanted to marry. Recently, he spoke at Liberty University&#8217;s convocation\u00a0and talked about how he challenged the lie that you have&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-03-03T11:00:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-02T16:47:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage","og_description":"Sean Lowe, made famous by the reality television shows\u00a0The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, was\u00a0known as the\u00a0Virgin Bachelor. But Lowe\u00a0makes no apologies for his desire to wait until marriage to have sex with the woman he wanted to marry. Recently, he spoke at Liberty University&#8217;s convocation\u00a0and talked about how he challenged the lie that you have&hellip;","og_url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2015-03-03T11:00:59+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-02T16:47:20+00:00","author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2015\/03\/10-ways-to-resist-sex-outside-of-marriage.html","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx","name":"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-03-03T11:00:59+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-02T16:47:20+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Marriage\/10-Ways-to-Resist-Sex-Outside-of-Marriage.aspx#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"10 Ways to Resist Sex Outside of Marriage"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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