{"id":608,"date":"2011-10-07T08:00:10","date_gmt":"2011-10-07T12:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=608"},"modified":"2012-03-03T16:48:47","modified_gmt":"2012-03-03T21:48:47","slug":"making-relationships-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html","title":{"rendered":"Making Relationships Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk about relationships and how to strengthen them and move them forward. My talk is entitled, Making Relationships Work.<\/p>\n

One of the most important points to make your relationship work is to get off of the idea of changing the other person. Now I know most of us know this intuitively but we still try to change the other person. Why? Because it would make life easier if the other person got his or her act together.<\/p>\n

The truth is you can’t change the other person, but you can change your reaction to the other person—and that does change the relationships. So this is where the hope lies.<\/p>\n

Look at any negative pattern you have with another person. Then decide to behave differently when that patterns emerges. For example, you try to confront a problem, he walks away. You go after him and he still doesn’t engage. Next time, don’t go after him. Instead, say, “When you are ready to talk, let me know.” You have changed your step in the couple dance. And that change may change the pattern.<\/p>\n

The nugget here is that when you change your behavior, and the relationship changes.<\/p>\n

To understand more on this topic, my books I Married You, Not Your Family<\/em> and I Love My Mother But…<\/em> explain this in more detail.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk about relationships and how to strengthen them and move them forward. My talk is entitled,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917,916],"tags":[15,416,128,415,417,53,312],"class_list":["post-608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","category-god-relationship","tag-change","tag-counseling","tag-couples","tag-marraige","tag-mother-daughter","tag-relationships","tag-spouses"],"yoast_head":"\nMaking Relationships Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Making Relationships Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk about relationships and how to strengthen them and move them forward. My talk is entitled,…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-10-07T12:00:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-03-03T21:48:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2011\/10\/I-Married-190px-12-24C-127x150.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Making Relationships Work","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Making Relationships Work","og_description":"Today, I am at the E-Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The event is sold out and Sarah Palin is headlining the conference. The women are here, ready to be inspired. As a marriage and family therapist, I love to talk about relationships and how to strengthen them and move them forward. My talk is entitled,…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2011-10-07T12:00:10+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-03-03T21:48:47+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2011\/10\/I-Married-190px-12-24C-127x150.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html","name":"Making Relationships Work","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2011\/10\/I-Married-190px-12-24C-127x150.jpg","datePublished":"2011-10-07T12:00:10+00:00","dateModified":"2012-03-03T21:48:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2011\/10\/I-Married-190px-12-24C-127x150.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2011\/10\/I-Married-190px-12-24C-127x150.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/10\/making-relationships-work.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Making Relationships Work"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=608"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1965,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608\/revisions\/1965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}