{"id":6005,"date":"2014-03-14T07:00:01","date_gmt":"2014-03-14T11:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=6005"},"modified":"2014-03-15T09:49:01","modified_gmt":"2014-03-15T13:49:01","slug":"relationship-dissatisfaction-could-be-a-power-imbalance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2014\/03\/relationship-dissatisfaction-could-be-a-power-imbalance.html","title":{"rendered":"Relationship Dissatisfaction? Could be a Power Imbalance?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ID-100122426\"<\/a>When \u00a0Donna and Jim were asked if they want an equal relationship, they answered, \u201cYes.\u201d What they mean by that answer is where communication breaks down. People have widely different ideas about what equal<\/i> means in a relationship.<\/p>\n

Power usually relates to a person\u2019s ability to influence the other towards his\/her own interests or goals. Power sharing means both people\u2019s needs are heard and met. Equal influence means couples accommodate each other.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean that one person is always right. And it certainly doesn\u2019t mean that one person must convince the other of his or her rightness!<\/p>\n

So if you are in a relationship, ask these questions:<\/p>\n

Is each partner able to express personal goals, wishes and needs? <\/em><\/p>\n

Do you influence one another? <\/em><\/p>\n

Whose interests are shaping the relationship? <\/em><\/p>\n

Does one dominate the other? <\/em><\/p>\n

How are menial tasks like housework viewed? <\/em><\/p>\n

How are decisions made? <\/em><\/p>\n

Do both of you feel entitled to follow your dreams, calling, or personal goals?<\/em><\/p>\n

If you cannot answer YES to most of these, there may be a power imbalance. \u00a0And one researcher tells us that equal power is related to relationship satisfaction for both men and women.\u00a0 Specifically, when mutual support is shared in relationship responsibility, vulnerability, attunement and influence, couples feel good. [1]<\/a><\/p>\n

In other words, when a person feels heard, is able to influence the other and share responsibilities, the relationship feels more satisfying.<\/p>\n

\n
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[1]<\/a> Janice M. Steil, (1997). Marital Equality: Its Relationship to the Well-being of Husbands and Wives<\/i> (Newbury Park Oaks: CA: Sage, 1997).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When \u00a0Donna and Jim were asked if they want an equal relationship, they answered, \u201cYes.\u201d What they mean by that answer is where communication breaks down. People have widely different ideas about what equal means in a relationship. Power usually relates to a person\u2019s ability to influence the other towards his\/her own interests or goals.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[2790,128,2789,2788,53],"class_list":["post-6005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couple-satisfaction","tag-couples","tag-equality-in-relationships","tag-power","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nRelationship Dissatisfaction? Could be a Power Imbalance?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2014\/03\/relationship-dissatisfaction-could-be-a-power-imbalance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Relationship Dissatisfaction? Could be a Power Imbalance?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When \u00a0Donna and Jim were asked if they want an equal relationship, they answered, \u201cYes.\u201d What they mean by that answer is where communication breaks down. People have widely different ideas about what equal means in a relationship. Power usually relates to a person\u2019s ability to influence the other towards his\/her own interests or goals.…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2014\/03\/relationship-dissatisfaction-could-be-a-power-imbalance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-03-14T11:00:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-03-15T13:49:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2014\/03\/ID-100122426-300x199.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Relationship Dissatisfaction? 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