{"id":5691,"date":"2013-12-17T08:00:20","date_gmt":"2013-12-17T13:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=5691"},"modified":"2013-12-11T09:48:35","modified_gmt":"2013-12-11T14:48:35","slug":"10-ways-to-worsen-relationship-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/12\/10-ways-to-worsen-relationship-conflict.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2011\/12\/signs-of-compulsive-shopping.html\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5692 alignleft\" alt=\"conflict 2\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/12\/conflict-2-300x218.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" \/><\/a>\u00a0Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation.<\/p>\n<p>1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. Assume, do not ask, about perceptions, motivations or reactions.<\/p>\n<p>2) Even though conflict is not always personal, take it that way!<\/p>\n<p>3) Blame as much and as often as you can.<\/p>\n<p>4) Make an effort to avoid problems and hope they magically work out.<\/p>\n<p>5) Go after the person&#8217;s character, not the action.<\/p>\n<p>6) Tell other people how unreasonable the person is. Don&#8217;t keep the conflict between the two of you.<\/p>\n<p>7) In fact, make it public and bring it up in a public place rather than waiting to be somewhere private.<\/p>\n<p>8) Bring up the conflict and then tell the person you don&#8217;t have time to deal with it.<\/p>\n<p>9) Bring up conflict when you are upset, angry, not feeling well or especially irritated.<\/p>\n<p>10) Address the problem via social media or email rather than in person.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation. 1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. Assume, do not ask,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917],"tags":[2226,503,920,897,1034,644,1033,1024,2653,2654],"class_list":["post-5691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-arguing","tag-conflict","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-dealing-with-conflict","tag-disagreements","tag-family-relationships","tag-fighting","tag-friendships","tag-relationship-conflict","tag-what-not-to-do-in-conflict"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/12\/10-ways-to-worsen-relationship-conflict.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation. 1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. Assume, do not ask,&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/12\/10-ways-to-worsen-relationship-conflict.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-12-17T13:00:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-12-11T14:48:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/12\/conflict-2-300x218.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/12\/10-ways-to-worsen-relationship-conflict.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"10 Ways to Worsen Relationship Conflict","og_description":"\u00a0Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation. 1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5691"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5693,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5691\/revisions\/5693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}