{"id":5524,"date":"2013-10-29T07:57:52","date_gmt":"2013-10-29T11:57:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=5524"},"modified":"2015-12-02T11:22:34","modified_gmt":"2015-12-02T16:22:34","slug":"7-things-to-say-if-you-want-to-upset-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/7-things-to-say-if-you-want-to-upset-your-partner.html","title":{"rendered":"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/images\/agree-terms.php?id=10040764\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-5526\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg\" alt=\"no sm\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" \/><\/a>Getting along in a relationship takes work. Some of the things we say, make things worse.<\/p>\n<p>Here are a few phrases that will probably bring more tension. \u00a0I was inspired by Gina Barreca&#8217;s recent blog to put a relationship twist on common phrases we use, but maybe we shouldn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>I would try to avoid these or respond in ways that lowers the tension.<\/p>\n<p><em>1) We need to talk<\/em>. This can&#8217;t be a good sign. This usually means something has been brewing beneath the surface and is building.<\/p>\n<p><em>2) Admit it, your mother doesn&#8217;t like me<\/em>. Even if she doesn&#8217;t, don&#8217;t agree with this. Instead, work on the relationship.<\/p>\n<p><em>3) I thought it was funny but I didn&#8217;t see you laughing.<\/em>\u00a0This means you have to like what I like and you can&#8217;t be different. Let the person be him\/herself.<\/p>\n<p><em>4) So why are you friends with that guy\/girl if you don&#8217;t have feelings for him\/her? \u00a0<\/em>Sounds desperate, like you are jealous and can&#8217;t handle his\/her relationships.<\/p>\n<p><em>5) I might have thrown it away. \u00a0I don&#8217;t remember. <\/em>Sounds insensitive, like you don&#8217;t care about what he\/she bought you.<\/p>\n<p>6) <em>Maybe I would be more understanding if you would tell me something about it.<\/em> Can you feel the tension just reading this.\u00a0This is an indirect accusation. \u00a0Be direct. What do you want to know?<\/p>\n<p><em>7) Which of my friend would you be interested in if I died?<\/em> Do not answer this. There is no good answer. Say, &#8220;No one could replace you!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Getting along in a relationship takes work. Some of the things we say, make things worse. Here are a few phrases that will probably bring more tension. \u00a0I was inspired by Gina Barreca&#8217;s recent blog to put a relationship twist on common phrases we use, but maybe we shouldn&#8217;t. I would try to avoid these&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[503,920,128,1382,53],"class_list":["post-5524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-conflict","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-couples","tag-intimacy","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Getting along in a relationship takes work. Some of the things we say, make things worse. Here are a few phrases that will probably bring more tension. \u00a0I was inspired by Gina Barreca&#8217;s recent blog to put a relationship twist on common phrases we use, but maybe we shouldn&#8217;t. I would try to avoid these&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-10-29T11:57:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-02T16:22:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner","og_description":"Getting along in a relationship takes work. Some of the things we say, make things worse. Here are a few phrases that will probably bring more tension. \u00a0I was inspired by Gina Barreca&#8217;s recent blog to put a relationship twist on common phrases we use, but maybe we shouldn&#8217;t. I would try to avoid these&hellip;","og_url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2013-10-29T11:57:52+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-02T16:22:34+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/7-things-to-say-if-you-want-to-upset-your-partner.html","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx","name":"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg","datePublished":"2013-10-29T11:57:52+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-02T16:22:34+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/no-sm.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Galleries\/7-Things-to-Say-If-You-Want-to-Upset-Your-Partner.aspx#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"7 Things to Say If You Want to Upset Your Partner"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5524","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5524"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5524\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7777,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5524\/revisions\/7777"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5524"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5524"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5524"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}