{"id":5490,"date":"2013-10-21T07:09:25","date_gmt":"2013-10-21T11:09:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=5490"},"modified":"2013-10-21T07:09:25","modified_gmt":"2013-10-21T11:09:25","slug":"rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html","title":{"rendered":"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Press-Pause-Before-You-Eat\/dp\/B0045JL8MQ\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1382353481&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=press+pause+before+you+eat\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-5492\" alt=\"pree pausev2,TopRight,1,0_SH20_BO1,204,203,200_\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg\" width=\"230\" height=\"346\" \/><\/a>Ann was on an eating binge. Oh it wasn&#8217;t because she was a compulsive eater or had an eating disorder.<\/p>\n<p>It was because her boyfriend, Rob, decided to break it off. Ann was in the midst of grieving, but was not allowing that process to happen. She was medicating with food.<\/p>\n<p>The body and mind are connected so when rejection hits hard, it is no wonder our appetites either leave us or kick in to gear so we don&#8217;t have to think about the present moment.<\/p>\n<p>People reject you. Food accepts you. Food tastes good and is a comforting distraction from the momentary pain of rejection.<\/p>\n<p>Think of all the movies you have seen of women diving into the ice cream or comfort food to ease the emotional pain of rejection. Comfort food soothes us and makes us feel better. The problem is that we can&#8217;t eat away the pain. Food only covers it up. And we can&#8217;t focus on grief is we are numbing our momentary feelings with food.<\/p>\n<p>Better to grieve the rejection and grab your thoughts. &#8220;This feels terrible, but I can get through it. I am hurting but eating away my feelings is going to result in feeling worse. Here&#8217;s where I need some self-care. Don&#8217;t add insult to injury. The last thing I want to do after a break up is gain weight and feel more rejection. Stay present!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>If you can stay present with your feelings and not escape into the food, you will certainly feel the sting of the rejection, but you will be allowing the grieving process. Then, as you see that you can handle the heartache, you won&#8217;t need to go to the food for escape. And you won&#8217;t be tempted to eat away your pain&#8211;an important lesson in coping.<\/p>\n<p>So if you&#8217;ve been rejected in love, resist that comfort food.<\/p>\n<p>Stay in the moment, feel the pain, tell yourself that tomorrow will be better. Grief needs to be processed, and you will come through this with God&#8217;s help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ann was on an eating binge. Oh it wasn&#8217;t because she was a compulsive eater or had an eating disorder. It was because her boyfriend, Rob, decided to break it off. Ann was in the midst of grieving, but was not allowing that process to happen. She was medicating with food. The body and mind&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[2562,589,1035,2561,632,158],"class_list":["post-5490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-break-ups","tag-compulsive-eating","tag-emotional-eating","tag-food-and-emotions","tag-overeating","tag-rejection"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ann was on an eating binge. Oh it wasn&#8217;t because she was a compulsive eater or had an eating disorder. It was because her boyfriend, Rob, decided to break it off. Ann was in the midst of grieving, but was not allowing that process to happen. She was medicating with food. The body and mind&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-10-21T11:09:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food","og_description":"Ann was on an eating binge. Oh it wasn&#8217;t because she was a compulsive eater or had an eating disorder. It was because her boyfriend, Rob, decided to break it off. Ann was in the midst of grieving, but was not allowing that process to happen. She was medicating with food. The body and mind&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2013-10-21T11:09:25+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html","name":"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg","datePublished":"2013-10-21T11:09:25+00:00","dateModified":"2013-10-21T11:09:25+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/10\/pree-pausev2TopRight10_SH20_BO1204203200_.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/10\/rejected-in-love-accepted-by-food.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Rejected in Love, Accepted by Food"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5490"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5495,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5490\/revisions\/5495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}