{"id":5405,"date":"2013-09-24T09:33:54","date_gmt":"2013-09-24T13:33:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=5405"},"modified":"2013-09-24T16:23:11","modified_gmt":"2013-09-24T20:23:11","slug":"what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html","title":{"rendered":"What Men Want That Women Don&#8217;t Understand"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-5402\" alt=\"couple\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" \/><\/a>&#8220;I&#8217;m in the middle of an emotional crisis here and you want sex? \u00a0Really?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Yes really. The woman who uttered this during a therapy session did not understand her husband&#8217;s bid for emotional closeness. In the middle of emotional crises, men want sex. It is one way they connect emotionally.<\/p>\n<p>Why? Isn&#8217;t this insensitive?<\/p>\n<p>No, not when you understand the way men and women \u00a0think about sex relationally.<\/p>\n<p>For men, sex is a way of showing affection. In his hormonal wiring, he is\u00a0thinking, if we have sex, we&#8217;ll feel more connected and stress will be relieved. If we have sex, she will see how much I care. I can be close to her, reassure her.<\/p>\n<p>While this is true for men, women think differently.<\/p>\n<p>She is thinking: If he is attuned to my inner world, empathetic to my needs and tracking with me emotionally, I&#8217;ll want more sex. Right now, I have to pull myself out of this exhaustion to feel sexual. I need more warm up time and more anticipation.<\/p>\n<p>Women lead with their feelings, men with their bodies.<\/p>\n<p>Both want the same thing: Connection and intimacy: Men want women physically to feel connected and women want men emotionally in order to give them their bodies.<\/p>\n<p>So next time that husband suggests sex as a way to deal with stress and feel closer, think about his motive and understand his heart.\u00a0Then give your side of the story in terms of how you think. See what happens from there!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m in the middle of an emotional crisis here and you want sex? \u00a0Really?&#8221; Yes really. The woman who uttered this during a therapy session did not understand her husband&#8217;s bid for emotional closeness. In the middle of emotional crises, men want sex. It is one way they connect emotionally. Why? Isn&#8217;t this insensitive? No,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[2025,360,1382,2538,264,2537],"class_list":["post-5405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couples-relationships","tag-gender-differences","tag-intimacy","tag-martial-sex","tag-sex","tag-sexual-satisfaction"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Men Want That Women Don&#039;t Understand<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Men Want That Women Don&#039;t Understand\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;I&#8217;m in the middle of an emotional crisis here and you want sex? \u00a0Really?&#8221; Yes really. The woman who uttered this during a therapy session did not understand her husband&#8217;s bid for emotional closeness. In the middle of emotional crises, men want sex. It is one way they connect emotionally. Why? Isn&#8217;t this insensitive? No,&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-09-24T13:33:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-24T20:23:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Men Want That Women Don't Understand","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Men Want That Women Don't Understand","og_description":"&#8220;I&#8217;m in the middle of an emotional crisis here and you want sex? \u00a0Really?&#8221; Yes really. The woman who uttered this during a therapy session did not understand her husband&#8217;s bid for emotional closeness. In the middle of emotional crises, men want sex. It is one way they connect emotionally. Why? Isn&#8217;t this insensitive? No,&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2013-09-24T13:33:54+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-09-24T20:23:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html","name":"What Men Want That Women Don't Understand","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg","datePublished":"2013-09-24T13:33:54+00:00","dateModified":"2013-09-24T20:23:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/09\/couple.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/09\/what-men-want-that-women-dont-understand.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What Men Want That Women Don&#8217;t Understand"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5405"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5411,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5405\/revisions\/5411"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}