{"id":4709,"date":"2013-05-06T09:56:42","date_gmt":"2013-05-06T13:56:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=4709"},"modified":"2013-05-09T09:11:11","modified_gmt":"2013-05-09T13:11:11","slug":"6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/images\/agree-terms.php?id=100156152\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-4710\" alt=\"couple arguing\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" \/><\/a>Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce.<\/p>\n<p>When they came to see me, I saw <strong>six signs<\/strong> of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if these represent you.<\/p>\n<p>1) Kim and Mark began every discussion with anger and criticism. The way a discussion begins predicts how it ends 96% of the time. <em>If one partner uses a harsh start up (negative, accusatory, etc.), the marriage has a chance of failing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>2) The couple was hardly talking. Both had checked out emotionally and erected a stone wall around their emotional lives. <em>Negative interactions that contain criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling lead to divorce.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>3) Mark continued to distance from Kim because he could not handle the negativity she constantly pointed out in the relationship. <em>Being overwhelmed by the negativity of one person causes the other to become flooded by intense feelings of negativity and then to disengage emotionally.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>4) Mark refused to talk and Kim pursued him even more, but neither was connecting. <em>The physical body becomes overwhelmed and the person can\u2019t maintain the discussion. Thus they opt out physically and emotionally<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>5)\u00a0Kim tried many times to engage Mark and talk about problems but he had checked out emotionally.\u00a0<em>The partner\u2019s attempts to repair conflict fail.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>6) When I asked them about their relationship, they had nothing positive to say.<em> The past is recalled with a negative view.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So if your relationship is failing, don\u2019t opt out, but look for these signs and get help.<\/p>\n<p>We know how to repair marital difficulties.<\/p>\n<p>Most couples divorce over fixable problems. And God wants you to take marriage seriously and honor the covenant.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce. When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[2226,920,128,2225,2227,544,1145,2228],"class_list":["post-4709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-arguing","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-couples","tag-couples-conflict","tag-marital-stress-divorce","tag-marital-therapy","tag-separation","tag-signs-of-marital-problems"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>6 Signs of a Failing Relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce. When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-05-06T13:56:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-05-09T13:11:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship","og_description":"Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce. When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not good. Check your marriage for these signs and get to a marital therapist now if&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2013-05-06T13:56:42+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-05-09T13:11:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html","name":"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg","datePublished":"2013-05-06T13:56:42+00:00","dateModified":"2013-05-09T13:11:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/05\/couple-arguing.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/05\/6-signs-of-a-failing-relationship.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"6 Signs of a Failing Relationship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4709"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4709\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4747,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4709\/revisions\/4747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}