{"id":4655,"date":"2013-04-30T08:45:38","date_gmt":"2013-04-30T12:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=4655"},"modified":"2013-05-09T09:13:11","modified_gmt":"2013-05-09T13:13:11","slug":"three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html","title":{"rendered":"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"upset<\/a>Ed and Jane were having marital problems. \u00a0Jane was at the point of walking out. Ed rarely spoke to her. This once loving couple was now thinking divorce.<\/p>\n

So what happened?<\/p>\n

Like too many couples, Ed and Jane waited too long to go to marital therapy for help.<\/p>\n

Jane feels she tried to raise issues, but Ed was not interested. He had a history of avoiding tough topics.<\/p>\n

Ed didn’t like the way Jane talked to him but never brought up the issue. He often felt overwhelmed by her intensity. Instead, he allowed resentment to build up and push him away emotionally.<\/p>\n

Both spouses were turning away from each other rather than towards–a dangerous move as it eventually leads to emotional distance. And emotional distance is the number one predictor of divorce.<\/p>\n

So here are three take-aways for all couples:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

1) When you are upset, deal with the issues immediately and don’t allow them to simmer and grow. As painful or difficult as it is to talk about problems, do it.<\/p>\n

2) If the problems are bigger than you can solve, see a marital therapist. One of the reasons couples don’t work things out when they do go to counseling is because they wait too long. By the time they see a therapist, they have emotionally checked out.\u00a0Marital therapy is highly effective when couples go early and ready to work.<\/p>\n

3) When problems come, turn towards each other (and God) and not away. Turning away creates distance and also tempts you towards unhealthy emotional connections with others, or engage in unhealthy behavior.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ed and Jane were having marital problems. \u00a0Jane was at the point of walking out. Ed rarely spoke to her. This once loving couple was now thinking divorce. So what happened? Like too many couples, Ed and Jane waited too long to go to marital therapy for help. Jane feels she tried to raise issues,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[920,545,128,132,2206,131,922,1544,125],"class_list":["post-4655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-couple-therapy","tag-couples","tag-divorce","tag-emotional-disotance","tag-growing-apart","tag-lost-love","tag-marital-problems","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nThree Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ed and Jane were having marital problems. \u00a0Jane was at the point of walking out. Ed rarely spoke to her. This once loving couple was now thinking divorce. So what happened? Like too many couples, Ed and Jane waited too long to go to marital therapy for help. Jane feels she tried to raise issues,…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-04-30T12:45:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-05-09T13:13:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/04\/upset-couple.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce","og_description":"Ed and Jane were having marital problems. \u00a0Jane was at the point of walking out. Ed rarely spoke to her. This once loving couple was now thinking divorce. So what happened? Like too many couples, Ed and Jane waited too long to go to marital therapy for help. Jane feels she tried to raise issues,…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2013-04-30T12:45:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-05-09T13:13:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/04\/upset-couple.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html","name":"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/04\/upset-couple.jpg","datePublished":"2013-04-30T12:45:38+00:00","dateModified":"2013-05-09T13:13:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/04\/upset-couple.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2013\/04\/upset-couple.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2013\/04\/three-ways-to-stop-a-marriage-from-divorce.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4655"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4751,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655\/revisions\/4751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}