{"id":3810,"date":"2012-12-13T07:00:50","date_gmt":"2012-12-13T12:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=3810"},"modified":"2012-12-10T14:22:24","modified_gmt":"2012-12-10T19:22:24","slug":"healthy-strategies-to-handle-marital-differences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/12\/healthy-strategies-to-handle-marital-differences.html","title":{"rendered":"Healthy Strategies to Handle Marital Differences"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Joe and Rachel were fighting over a common parenting issue. Of course, both were convinced they were right because of the way they were raised. Differences noted, but they had to come to some agreement as to how to actually discipline their teen.<\/p>\n

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. But the way conflict is handled is important. Here are 6 ways to cultivate a healthy relationship when it comes to handling differences:<\/p>\n

1) Identify your way and your spouse’s way of handling differences<\/strong>. For example, do you tend to rationally go at a problem and he tends to avoid? Joe wanted to listen to his teen daughter’s reason for disobedience before he decided her punishment. Rachel felt the reason was unimportant and was ready to levy the consequence. Both realized that their different styles had to be acknowledged. Then it was up to the couple to decide what to do.<\/p>\n

2) Develop a compatible style of handling differences.<\/strong> An avoider and a fighter don’t do well together. If both of you avoid, you may do well because the styles are compatible.The same is true of two fighters, but when a fighter and avoider get together, accommodations in style differences will need to be made.<\/p>\n

3) Choose a biblical model for handling differences.<\/strong> For example, look at Matthew 18: Go to the person, address the problem, bring in another person if you get stuck, etc.<\/p>\n

4) Practice anger management.<\/strong> Review the guidelines in my Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness<\/a> book. Anger is not wrong, but you can sin in the way you handle anger. For example,\u00a0no shouting, name-calling, holding on to unresolved anger, etc.<\/p>\n

5) Choose to forgive and move towards reconciliation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

6)<\/strong> Agree to disagree over the nonessential differences.\u00a0<\/strong>Sometimes the best thing to do is to simply allow the differences. For example, rolling toilet paper up or down is not a life sustaining difference. if your partner does it differently, is it really that big of a deal?<\/p>\n

Remember, differences are normal. How they are handled is what is important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Joe and Rachel were fighting over a common parenting issue. Of course, both were convinced they were right because of the way they were raised. Differences noted, but they had to come to some agreement as to how to actually discipline their teen. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. But the way conflict…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[1888,920,1887,1890,1889,937],"class_list":["post-3810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-couple-differences","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-differences","tag-handling-conflict","tag-handling-couple-differences","tag-marital-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nHealthy Strategies to Handle Marital Differences<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/12\/healthy-strategies-to-handle-marital-differences.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Healthy Strategies to Handle Marital Differences\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Joe and Rachel were fighting over a common parenting issue. Of course, both were convinced they were right because of the way they were raised. Differences noted, but they had to come to some agreement as to how to actually discipline their teen. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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