{"id":3542,"date":"2012-10-26T07:14:03","date_gmt":"2012-10-26T11:14:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=3542"},"modified":"2012-10-26T07:14:03","modified_gmt":"2012-10-26T11:14:03","slug":"stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html","title":{"rendered":"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u201cSure I\u2019ll cook for the spaghetti dinner.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes I can baby-sit your children for the day.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I can chair another committee.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSince no one else will volunteer, I guess I\u2019ll do it.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do you ever find yourself saying these things and then realize you\u2019ve taken on too much? You\u2019ve committed to doing more than you can realistically handle. As a result, you are stressed and kicking yourself for not saying no.<\/p>\n

When we don\u2019t say NO is usually because we are afraid to speak up; don\u2019t feel we have the right; need to please others; want to be loved for what we do; or think we have to be super person and do it all! Time to turn in your cape! Learn to say \u201cNo\u201d and not feel guilty. You\u2019ll reduce the stress in your life.<\/p>\n

Saying \u201cNo\u201d to things requires assertiveness. Assertiveness is behavior that falls somewhere in the middle of giving in and aggressiveness. It is not giving in to the wants of others or keeping silent and expecting people to read your mind. It is also not yelling at people and demanding your way. It is a practiced skill that helps you manage stress. Contrary to popular thought, you don\u2019t have to be angry to be assertive. In fact, I prefer you stay calm.<\/p>\n

There are two parts involved in being assertive: 1) know what you want 2) say it.\u00a0 One of the reasons we don\u2019t practice being assertive is because we don\u2019t know what we want. We allow others to manipulate us in to doing things and then feel resentful because we have too much to do. Or we feel guilty and don\u2019t believe we have the right to speak up.<\/p>\n

When you address problems as they occur, you won\u2019t build up anger and hold on to things that can grow into resentment. Often times, this is the root of depression, anxiety and eating disorders.<\/p>\n

The benefits from speaking up are improved physical and psychological health. Your relationships will improve and you will better manage stress. In addition, you will gain respect from people. They may not like your stance, but they will respect you for taking one.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cSure I\u2019ll cook for the spaghetti dinner.\u201d \u201cYes I can baby-sit your children for the day.\u201d \u201cYes, I can chair another committee.\u201d \u201cSince no one else will volunteer, I guess I\u2019ll do it.\u201d   Do you ever find yourself saying these things and then realize you\u2019ve taken on too much? You\u2019ve committed to doing more…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[917],"tags":[1777,803,1774,502,1773,1776,1775,53,17],"class_list":["post-3542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friend-relationships","tag-assertive-behavior","tag-assertiveness","tag-be-assertive","tag-boundaries","tag-confidence","tag-establishing-limits","tag-reduce-stress","tag-relationships","tag-stress-2"],"yoast_head":"\nStressed? One Way You Can Stop It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cSure I\u2019ll cook for the spaghetti dinner.\u201d \u201cYes I can baby-sit your children for the day.\u201d \u201cYes, I can chair another committee.\u201d \u201cSince no one else will volunteer, I guess I\u2019ll do it.\u201d   Do you ever find yourself saying these things and then realize you\u2019ve taken on too much? You\u2019ve committed to doing more…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-10-26T11:14:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/10\/stressed-woman.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It","og_description":"\u201cSure I\u2019ll cook for the spaghetti dinner.\u201d \u201cYes I can baby-sit your children for the day.\u201d \u201cYes, I can chair another committee.\u201d \u201cSince no one else will volunteer, I guess I\u2019ll do it.\u201d   Do you ever find yourself saying these things and then realize you\u2019ve taken on too much? You\u2019ve committed to doing more…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2012-10-26T11:14:03+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/10\/stressed-woman.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html","name":"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/10\/stressed-woman.jpg","datePublished":"2012-10-26T11:14:03+00:00","dateModified":"2012-10-26T11:14:03+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/10\/stressed-woman.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/10\/stressed-woman.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/10\/stressed-one-way-you-can-stop-it.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Stressed? One Way You Can Stop It"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3542"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3545,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542\/revisions\/3545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}