{"id":3129,"date":"2012-11-08T08:00:33","date_gmt":"2012-11-08T13:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=3129"},"modified":"2012-10-22T07:46:36","modified_gmt":"2012-10-22T11:46:36","slug":"handling-mother-daughter-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html","title":{"rendered":"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted?<\/p>\n

Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond is a hotbed for all kinds of emotions. And it doesn’t much matter what age we are, or if our mother is alive or deceased. When emotions run positive, the mother-daughter bond is like no other. But when negative emotions rear their ugly heads, poor reactions and coping lead to depression, anxiety, anger and a host of bad feelings.<\/p>\n

So how do we handle the strong negative emotions we sometimes feel towards our moms? For example, have you ever visited the home you grew up in and felt like you were ten years old again. That happens when you don’t have a strong sense of who you are apart from your mother. The way we listen without becoming defensive is to first figure out what we think and feel. When we have a handle on our own ideas,\u00a0 it si easier to listen to her thoughts without becoming angry or deeply hurt.<\/p>\n

So when your mom says something that upsets you, take a deep breath and think about what she is saying. Is there any truth to it? If so, listen and take it to heart. If not, don’t lash out just because you feel wounded. Instead, tell her how the hurtful remark made you feel and ask her to be more careful with her words. Here’s an example, “Mom I felt hurt when you criticized my outfit.” If she continues, repeat your statement and ask her to stop. If she still continues, excuse yourself from the conversation. This is called setting appropriate limits.<\/p>\n

The important point is to practice staying calm by knowing what you think and believe apart from your mother. Yes, her opinion matters, but it doesn’t have to run your life or your emotions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted? Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond is a hotbed for all kinds of emotions. And it doesn’t much matter what age…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[503,644,1585,1587,1116,52],"class_list":["post-3129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-conflict","tag-family-relationships","tag-mother-daughter-conflict","tag-mother-daughter-bond","tag-mothers-and-daughters","tag-parenting-2"],"yoast_head":"\nHandling Mother-Daughter Conflict<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted? Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond is a hotbed for all kinds of emotions. And it doesn’t much matter what age…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-11-08T13:00:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-10-22T11:46:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict","og_description":"If I asked you today, how you feel about your mom, would you be conflicted? Does that question raise anxiety in you, or make you feel upset, or do you just want to avoid the answer? The powerful mother-daughter bond is a hotbed for all kinds of emotions. And it doesn’t much matter what age…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2012-11-08T13:00:33+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-10-22T11:46:36+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html","name":"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg","datePublished":"2012-11-08T13:00:33+00:00","dateModified":"2012-10-22T11:46:36+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/11\/handling-mother-daughter-conflict.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Handling Mother-Daughter Conflict"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3129"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3510,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129\/revisions\/3510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}